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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Ive been in a relationship for 2.5 years. We now live together

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I've been in a relationship for 2.5 years. We now live together with 4 children. Two are mine and two are hers. This weekend is my daughter birthday party, on Sunday. My daughter is developmentally delayed. The reason I've waited so long to have a big party is because she didn't comprehend what birthdays were yet. She now gets it, and its a big deal. My parents are flying in from Florida. The day after my plans are set, which was scheduled around my parents availability. My girlfriend who is pressuring for marriage tells me the next day her mother is flying in from Texas. She tells me that she plans on going to see her at her grandmothers who is 5.5hr away. I suggest making both events and scheduled the party for Sunday afternoon which gives her plenty of time to attend the party and visit with her mom and grandmother. She tells me she doesn't want to attend and has no plans on leaving early. I feel like this is a deal breaker. Am I being selfish asking her to be there for my daughters birthday when were making plans to be a family.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 4 years ago.

I think you are absolutely being reasonable to expect that she attend. As your partner she should be happy to do so. If you are making plans then she should be modeling her role in that family and that includes supporting you and your daughter. I don't think it is an accident when you have been so flexible. I think this is an example of how selfish she is (sorry). This is very self serving to avoid your daughter's party. This is a glimpse of how supportive she will be in the future unless something changes. If she can't compromise she can't be a couple. A deal breaker is being there for each other. You should consider that she is not only physically absent but is also emotionally absent.


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