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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Ive been married for 23 years, have 2 amazing kids. Our relationship

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Ive been married for 23 years, have 2 amazing kids. Our relationship has not been perfect but I always felt he loved me. We have had some horrific things happen over the course of the last several years, a suicide, serious health problems etc. I recently found out that he had been texting/sexting a girl he had known since he was a kid. I'm fairly confident that there was no physical relationship. He is really remorseful (although I have a problem with that because he he didnt stop til caught) and wants me to come back. My adult children have had some interesting insight, first they were mad and then my youngest asked me if it was wrong to be excited for me. How do you forgive and move past something? Should I move on

Hi,

 

Forgiveness is often tied to trust. You would have to trust that he is truly regretful by realizing that he had made a mistake and then that behavior has to halt. He would also have to own the responsibility for his actions and explain what may have led to this sort of behavior. It is possible to forgive and it is usually a process that you go through over a period of time. In order to forgive, you'd also have to deal with your own feelings that you've experienced as a result of his betrayal, alter your internal self dialog (if for some reason you were blaming yourself or felt inferior, etc)

People are prone to making mistakes including him. In the end, holding onto resentment is going to hurt you more than it hurts him. In a way, you allow yourself to forgive in order to move on whether with or without him.

It would be fair for you to move on only if you believe that you are not willing to forgive or he declines to take responsibility and prove himself to you.
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