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Hi Karen and thanks for writing JA
are you there?
nice to see you
how are you holding up tonight?
ok good and I have read your post
before I respond to your question let me ask you this?
do you think you should stay in this relationship?
I've wanted to leave many times but have no job presently and am paying childsupport out of my unemployement.
okay so the issue here is not whether you wish to leave or not but rather that you cannot afford to leave
He is nice, and has helped me financially. yes, I can't afford to leave now.
Do you think my observations are right on him being gay?
okay so what kind of work have you done? are you applying to do? and what part of the country do you live in?
I am not sure what his being gay has to do with you not being able to afford to leave him
but NO, nothing you have posted would scream gay
plenty of straight men adore chick flicks and sit down to pee
and plenty of gay men like action thrillers and guns and roses
aside from which its not a mental illness
and on top of that if it were we do not diagnose from JA
and lastly it has nothing to do with this post
Receptionist, clerical, dental assisting. I've applied everywhere! But he does not want normal sex...until marriage which he seems to drag his feet on ..we had normal sex before I moved in.
your problem is that you are not getting along and you cannot leave because he is supporting you
We get along, but I want more and he will not give more.
have you been on unemployment?
I want verbal intimacy
You do not like him so that is not the point here
is there a way you can find someone else to support you so you can leave him?
I don't want to play around if he can't verbally talk to me intimately
is there someone else who can support you?
a friend perhaps or family until you can get back on your feet?
I have no family. I have 1-2 friends I could move in with after I find a job.
okay what about transititional assistance certainly if your unemployment has run out you would be eligible for that by now?
what part of the country do you live in?
What is transitional assistance? My unemployement will not run out till june., I live in Texas
so can you move in with a friend since you have extended unemployment?
you have a check coming in and you do not like this guy so can you live with a friend?
I only bring home like 400.00 after child support. That only leaves enough for my car insurance, gas, cell phone, my loan.
so what will you do?
I mean you can stay with him even though you do not like him, I dont think that is fair to either of you
or you have to find a way to move out
you pay child support?
Keep job huntting. I just wondered if I was asking too much of this guy by asking him to be verbally intimate in person or on paper. That would make me feel like he wanted me , not just playing around to make his sexual appetite fulfilled.
why is it you do not have custody of your children? did something happen?
You are asking way too much. You dont like him, you think him gay or mentally ill. You do not like this guy, so yes you are asking way too much.
You are dependent upon him financially so you want him to be someone he is not
does not work that way
how is it you do not have custody of your children? where are they?
Yes, I pay child support. 310.00 a month. He offered for my daughter to come stay here if she accepts so I wouldn't have to pay. what do u think? When I divorced, a year after I started dating and my daughter did not like it and she moved in with her dad.
My daughter graduates in 2013
oh I see and no please do not move your daughter in when you are in a relationship with a guy you do not like
good for her, high school grad? good for her, you must be very proud
okay I see your only way out is to find a job or find a way to cut expenses so you can move out.
I know in this economy jobs are so so tight
and I hate telling people that walmart always hires third shift, even though they do
Then should I keep doing things his way or should I tell him I want to just be friends, sleep in the other room and go where I like and date who I like.
but he is not going to change and neither will you
well its up to you two. If he will continue to support you while you live in the next room I would say that would be more honest than what you are doing now, but I think you are better able to answer that than we are :)
yes, I think I've figured out that people don't change, you live with it or with out it or you change yourself.
so its really one of those, its up to you kind of situations?
get where I am going on this?
Yes, I understand. Thanks. It was nice for you to give me advice.
I wish I could be more helpful
and please keep sending out those resumes. I know times are so tough, but dont give up on that.
You take good care of you and I wish you all the best on this. Cathy
You have been. Thank you. I'll let you go now. Yes, I send resumes every day!
good luck texas!