I am sorry for your traumatic history. You are describing typical symptoms of depression. This can be situational. For instance in response to your husband's cheating. You may be dealing with that trauma by experiencing depression. Your inability to maintain yourself, spending extensive time on the computer, and the neglect of your responsibilities are signs of a mood disturbance whether it is temporary or chronic. Symptoms of depression include forgetfulness, fatigue, lack of motivation, lack of interest, sadness, poor sleep/appetite, irritability and hopelessness. You could be taking out this information on yourself. If you add the extensive abuse that you have suffered it is very possible that you are experiencing symptoms of depression. Sometimes we think we have forgiven others for our trauma when it is really just under the surface. Find someone in your area that offers therapy for trauma survivors. Then you can take care of this once and for all and lessen the effects that make you so sad. You don't want to wait until you have abused substances to get the help you need. please call someone in your area.
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