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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Is it too late to get a guy interested in you after you may

Customer Question

Is it too late to get a guy interested in you after you may have chased him away?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

Well it can depend on what you did to chase him away. It seems that you may have been too anxious and too flirty. If someone is interested in you they should be interested in you for being yourself. You can't lure someone back by being a certain way. You have to be able to be yourself and still have him interested. People are either compatible or they are not. That comes with having honest conversations and time spent having a real relationship. If you have to change who you are then it isn't a real relationship.

 

I would be the genuine person that I am with him or around him. He knows what he wants. Don't try to be a chameleon. If he wants to engage in a relationship with you then you will know it. Be a honest and genuine person around him and let him come to you. You can always act a certain way but then you don't know if he is attracted to you or the image you are projecting. Tell him that you are willing to compromise but he has to want to be with you for who you really are.

 

I would not appear so anxious because men do not like to be pressured into being with someone. If you have done things you would like to change then let him know that you are willing to work on yourself but then let him make his own decision. Try to be available but not pushy or too aggressive. He may respond to your allowing him to pursue you as well.

 

 

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

We met at a mutual friends get together and we hit it off to say the least. The next morning he told my friend that he was interested and we wound up exchanging numbers. Everything was okay for the first week, we flirted alot and he even invited me over. we rescheduled after i couldnt make the invite, then when I asked him another night if he wanted to hang out he has a questionable excuse but I didnt push it. But right after that I noticed a change in our conversation. He wasnt flirting back and he doesnt bring up hanging out any more and I stopped bringing it up after the 2nd time asking.

I dont want to be a chameleon around him, I want to be myself. I just think I liked him so much that I couldn't help myself texting him throughout the day and calling him occasionally.

I noticed that I may have been too flirty and persistent with him, so I backed off and made myself busy with other things. When I see him I just have regular conversations with him and I only text or call on occasion ( because we are friends and have a mutual friend ) and I am hoping that maybe some way some how I didnt mess it up for good. Our mutual friend says he is intersted in me more than a friend, he said so himself and that if he wasnt he wouldnt be afraid to tell me, but I am stuggling with believing that because of the attitude change. The most uncomfortable part of this situation is that I see him and have to talk to him occasionally due to our occupations and that may prove to be difficult. I almost feel like talking to him straight out but I think that would just make matters worse, so for now I have decided to sit back and take it one day at a time. Hoping that by being myself and maybe just maintaining a friendship for now that maybe something could come of this in the future.

Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
I see you as having two choices. The first is that you put all on the line and just tell him. It would prove difficult at work, but you also have your answer once and for all. I prefer honesty. But you don't follow that up with texts and phone calls. Put the ball in his court and see what he has to say. This puts an end to all the confusion. The other option is to just let things go and see what happens. Again he has the deciding vote. Either way take a step back and let things happen naturally. You are trying too hard. Whatever his feelings are it doesn't matter if he is too apprehensive to say anything. I agree with your plan in the end just because he is being so standoffish.

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