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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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my wife has made me have a trial seperation as it is what she

Customer Question

my wife has made me have a trial seperation as it is what she wants yet when i sais we should therefore have seperate bank accounts she went beserk i said i need my own indipendance as she has firmly made hae mind up
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
If your wife wants a permanent separation then you have a valid point. The difference between having a temporary separation and a permanent separation is huge. A temporary separation entitles both partners to expect that their well being will be an issue within the relationship because you still have a responsibility to each other. If this separation is permanent then you should both establish financial independence. Your responsibility becomes only to yourself. This is of course speaking from a therapist's standpoint not a lawyer's. Your emotional independence should be your focus and that can be established by living different lives. I would encourage you to be independent if you want to be a single person with no emotional commitment. You have the right idea.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
she doesnt know wether she wants a trial or permenent just she neeeds to be on her own to find herself as the problem is in her head she says i will do what i want i am not answering to anyone no more as i have all my life trouble is i need to know for me and she cant tell me i have just rented a house and am financally tied to her and the joint business

she says if i see a mediation team or seperation solicitor she will never ever have me back again what can i do
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
It is shame that she isn't in agreement with a mediator. I can understand you concerns. If you don't want to answer to anyone then use this time to look at what you would like to change. This can be a productive time. She isn't saying that it is over. That might be a good thing. Let her get herself together. Busy yourself during this time. Then come together when you have had a chance to think.

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