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Ask Mark Manley Your Own Question

Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 402
Experience:  Want help with your most important relationships? Licensed Marriage/Family Counselor.
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My ex-girlfriend moved to live with me for 7 months 3 states

Customer Question

My ex-girlfriend moved to live with me for 7 months 3 states away since we were tired of doing the long distance relationship, I am 25 she is 23. Over this time she did not attempt to make many friends here, or attempt to get a job(she hoped for investments to start her own company, which ended up not working at out at the end of our relationship). She more or so just lived at my house and waited for me to get off work to entertain her, which created a lot of stress for me and my business since I am self-employed. She is diagnosed bi-polar, clinical depression and anxiety. I have given this girl everything I had, love being the most important thing. I was never mean to her, but she was very difficult to deal with from time to time. Always complaining about missing home, but she made the agreement to move here with me. She was a very materialistic girl, and she is very pretty and loves attention. Well, long story short she has moved back home last week, already has a new bf that lives 4 hours away from where her home is. We haven't spoken at all, we're not Facebook friends anymore, and I have no idea what is going on. I miss her so much, and I am so hurt she can go onto another relationship so quickly and not even talk to me. The last 2 days we spent together were agreed that we would enjoy each-others last days since I told her it would be a good idea for her to move home after she's been depressed without friends and family this long (It was her original idea about moving home, I just agreed with her because it was a stress for myself). During these 2 days we cried, we loved, we held each other nonstop. I helped her load her things, and kissed her goodbye. My question is how can she just move on and do this to me? I feel like she doesn't even care about me, and I feel like she is so happy with this new guy and that I'm just a faded memory. How should I feel about this and what do I need to do to look forward? Is it her mental health issues that caused her to move on so quickly to a new guy that was supposedly just a "friend" during our relationship? Please help me cope with this so I can have a clear mind and move on. Thank you.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 2 years ago.
Yes her mental illness would be the major factor behind her erratic behavior. It is so important that you not take her behavior personally. She is not responding to you or your relationship by her behavior. You will see that her relationship with the new guy will be temporary too. She may even come back to you (don't get back together with her until she is stable on medications for several months).

You would be well advised to move on with your life while cherishing all the good times the two of you had together.

If you haven't read up on her disorders I encourage you to do so. This will allow you a better glimpse
into her world. You can find information on all you listed using any search engine.

Go to work and find ways to socialize and make a new life without her and you will find the pain decreases with time.

Best of success to you.

Sincerely,
Mark Manley

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