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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Hi my name is XXXXX XXXXX i have been seeing this very nice man

Customer Question

Hi my name is XXXXX XXXXX i have been seeing this very nice man called chirs for over six mounths and we go out very weekend he is very shy and finds it hard to till me how he is feeling and is alway trying to please me when we go out but the thing that would please me would be him kissing me and saying i love you and maybe going to bed with him. I did ask him how he was feeling about us and how much i loved being with him and that i see him as a boyfriend and that did he see me as a grilfriend and all he said was yip what ever and also all in good time but i am 32 years old and he is 36 years old i do not have time on my side. did not as about kiss me as i could till this talk was not going places. i kown he likes being with me and has meet my family and i have meet his. How do i ask him about this feeling. He did say to me one day that if someone was to walk out on him he would not kown what to do with is life. Please help.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for bringing your question to Just Answer!

Tred carefully here. A 36 year old man who hasn't kissed you in six months is more than just shy. If you are the type of person who likes physical affection and to hear a man say he loves you, this may not be the man for you. He is not going to change his personality at 36, and if you push ahead, you have a good chance of spending your life with a husband who doesn't make love to you or express affection.

My advice would be to back off for awhile and start to date others. This may not be what you want to hear, but I have counseled too many women who thought they could change the man they loved. He has shown you who he is for six full months. What you see --right now--is what you get. If that's okay with you, then go ahead with the relationship. If what you have right now isn't enough, it's time to stop wasting time with a man who isn't ready to say your his girlfriend, let alone commit to a marriage.

A great book for you to read would be Temptations of the Single Girl The
"temptations" are thinking that we can change a man or his behavior, settling
for a man who doesn't want a commitment when we really want marriage at some
point, and wasting time with the wrong man because we're afraid to be alone. These are common mistakes women make, and it can cost years that could have been spent with someone who loves kissing you and wants to commit to you.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
But i love him and i think that if i talk to him thing my change. I think i my his frist gril he has been out with and maybe he need help with what to do.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Kate,

It sounds as if you are sure that you want to have this man as your man. It is too soon to give up. You just haven't gone about it correctly, and you do need help or advice in being able to seduce him.

If it is merely a question of shyness, awkwardness, and inexperience on his part (or perhaps a tendency in both of you), then it is up to you to take the lead. If he is otherwise functional and only socially inhibited, then it is up to you to seduce him.

There are a number of wonderful books on seducing your man. The very best of them is one that is available online at: and is called

How to Seduce a Man and Keep Him Seduced by Laura Sue Brockway

Learn what to do, give it your best shot, and then you will truly know if he can be yours, or if you have to move on.

I hope this helps and that you find happiness with the man you desire.

Warm regards,
Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC

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