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Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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my wife wants to end the relation because she says that she

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my wife wants to end the relation because she says that she is not feeling herself around dme what do i say

Thank you for bringing your question to Just Answer!

-Could you explain your situation a little more?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
my wife goes through boutes of depression and she blames me for not letting her be herself.

Thanks for explaining. First, I hope she's seeing a therapist. If she isn't, she should. Here's a link to help her find one:

Have a sit-down conversation with her, and ask her what you can do to support her in doing the things she wants to do to 'be herself'. Offer to make dinner a couple of nights a week, or watch the kids (if you have any) so she can get out of the house and take a class or whatever it is that she's longing to do. Do it matter-of-factly--without making a big deal out of it.

If the two of you don't communicate well, it would be worth booking a few sessions with a couples counselor. Most women are really impressed if their husbands are willing to talk out their issues with a counselor. You can use the same link to find one.

If you're a reader (or if you can't afford counseling), the best explanation I have ever read about how and why men and women act and react differently in relationships is in the book HowTo Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. It might give you some insight about things you may be doing that bother her that you're not even aware of.

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