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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6877
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I dated a girl many years ago. Our relationship ended when

Customer Question

I dated a girl many years ago. Our relationship ended when she moved from the East Coast to the West Coast with her family. This is a girl I have never been able to forget, and the one I knew then, and still know now I should have been with. I am married with a family and so is she my wife is aware of her based on comment during our time together. We met again on Facebook about 2 years ago and keep in touch. She came back East with her son and his friends for his 21st birthday a few weeks ago. She and I had dinner together, and all the feelings for her which really never ended just came back full force. She know how I feel about her and how I have never forgotten her. Since dinner, we keep in touch on Facebook, text messages and email. I fear I am falling again for her. In any of her online conversations with me or others, she never mentions her husband, she never post pictures of him, never travels with him. Every event she attends appears to be alone. I know I am reading more into this than I should, which defines my issue. Since our meeting, I am a mess. On one hand I would do anything to be back with her again, even after all these years we seem to be more of a fit then we were before. Although I know this can only lead to bad things for those around us, I can't get her out of my mind. I am looking for some guidance on how I can rationalize not finding ways to get back with her. How do I move on and not find myself sitting here day after day waiting on a response from a post on Facebook or a reply to a text. Is there some magic I don't know about that may help get me back on track? I love the idea of some level of relationship with her vs. none. But I don't know if that is possible. I think I will always want to try and take it to the next level. what to do...
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

I think you are being honest with yourself when you say you will take it to the next level. That is how it sounds to me. You are maintaining this friendship but you know that is not what you want and if you let it get out of hand then you know that is not the way you will behave. As valued and as special as this friendship is in reality you are messing with fire. You don't feel like she is your friend really and you don't want her to be your friend. You have carried a torch for some time and that is going to take over. It isn't fair to your family or hers to let that happen. It doesn't matter where her husband is when. This is another rationalization. You have to remove the threat to your relationship even if it is painful. You have to make a choice. You have to decide if this relationship is threatening your family. Can you function as friends and not make you miserable. If it ends up being a choice then you may have to make you may have to let her go. Right now you are walking a tightrope between friendship and romance. I don't know if you can maintain the role you need to maintain.

 

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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6877
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I agree with everything in your response. And really knrw the answer all along, but needed to hear it from someone else.

 

Thanks for your help.

 

Regards,

 

Mark

 

Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.
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