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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I have really strong feelings for my best friend. We are both

Resolved Question:

I have really strong feelings for my best friend. We are both students on the same course at university, but recently have become more romantically involved. We get on so well together and treasure each others company and friendship. We discussed our feelings for each other a few days ago and decided that we didn't want to risk losing or compromising our incredible friendship, besides, she already has a boyfriend at home. Despite this, the same night we ended up going home just for a quiet drink together, but ended up kissing. The following day things seemed just slightly awkward but we went out together that evening and she came back to my place and stayed the night with me, getting very intimate, though we did not have sex. We have since been out for coffee just as 'friends' but I really like her and I'm keen to start a relationship. I don't know how she feels about me and I don't want to come over desperate or clingy with her, or make things awkward in a way that may damage our friendship. Can anybody give me any advice??
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

It is not uncommon for a friendship to progress to something more. She must have some attraction to you if there had been intimate contact of any sort.

Even though she has a boyfriend at home, it is possible that the distance from him and the closer proximity and relationship with you is causing doubts for her in regard to that relationship. You may want to have her define what does she want because although she's said she wants to remain friends, she's giving you mixed messages. At least she should either break up with her boyfriend or halt leading you on.

The best thing at the moment may be to see how she continues to behave towards you. She already knows how you feel about her (or has an idea) At this point, you would want her to make her own mid. The two of you may discuss like you did the pros and cons of dating a friend. Even partners within a relationship are also friends to one another. Neither being platonic friends not being romantically involved are situations that at one point or another cannot change. Even friends have feuds and can end their relationships. She may seem reluctant to rush into a relationship until she handles her affairs with her boyfriend, address possible guilt, etc on her part. Nothing is deterministic and it is possible that with time she can become more aware of what she wants and let you know. Meanwhile, you can still be friends with her and let her know that the only intimate contact you'd engage in with her is only if you're sure she wants to be more than friends.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Dr Rossi
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