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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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So i moved in with my current boyfriend about 6 monts ago.

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So i moved in with my current boyfriend about 6 monts ago. i Moved about 300 miles for him. And were not doing to good now, i dont have a job anymore and dont drive so im stuck at the house pretty much the whole week, and i am going crazy. i have talked to my bf about this for some time now and he says all of this stuff like getting me a car so i can get a job or taking me out for little things every once in a while but its been all talk. He works 40 hours a week and when he gets home he wants to stay home and it seems like when i suggest something to do he shuts me down and says that he works all day so he deserves to relax, which is fine with me but its old really quick. When me and my boyfriend talk we have a heart to heart it seems but then it seems like he just says thing to make me happy but then never does anything about it. Also im pretty much stuck i dnt have a car so i can find my own job or get out of the house my self. I have to ask him for money or a ride into town. Its like he is my dad and i am a little kid cause i have to ask for permission or anything to do anything. so i am wondering how i can approach this and him not get mad and we just take a step backwards and not forwards. I have proposed to him the idea of me moving back to where i was before i moved in with him beacause i have a car there and pretty much a guarenteed job but e thinks that when i move back im just going to forget about him, beacuse i have allot of guy friends and he is super insecure and hre says he doesnt have trust issues but he does cause he doesnt let me pretty much out of his site unless im at home. so please tell what to do
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 2 years ago.
Thank you for bringing your question to Just Answer!

A man who is super insecure, doesn't let you out of his sight unless you're home, who keeps you essentially trapped and isolated has many of the earmarks of a controller. Please read this article and see if it doesn't sound somewhat familiar. http://mentalhealthce.com/courses/contentCR/secCR16.html

A man who truly loves a woman wants her to have a full life and opportunities. By keeping you unemployed, he has total control. You even said it yourself-- i am a little kid
-- this is NOT a healthy relationship. Men like this often appeal to women's sympathy (he's so insecure...I don't want to hurt him) but the fact is that he's not insecure at all. He has you right where he wants you---

I hope you've kept your family and friends informed of the situation. There may come a day when you need their help to get out of this.
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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