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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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i love my husband and he has some serious issues that has led

Resolved Question:

i love my husband and he has some serious issues that has led to infidelity but he is so sorry he is actually hurting as much as i am and i know he is doing all he can and knows how to do but at times i get upset at first i was obsessed with fixing every thing me him the relation ship then here the last few days i just stopped wouldnt talk to him hardley i told him i just give up and i dont know why i just got cold to the whole thing why did i do a complete 160 and start to fill this way i dont want to and i dont understand these new fillings or how to dill
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 5 years ago.

A person can only be hurt so many times before they shut down in an effort to protect themselves from more hurt. You may have been in a type of emotional shock at first when you were trying to fix everything--as if you were on automatic pilot. At some point, it must have become obvious that if it were easy to fix, it wouldn't still be happening.

If your husband is sincere about wanting to stop his infidelity, he should show you that he's serious by going to therapy himself and also going to Sexaholics Anonymous meetings to learn how to control his behavior so he doesn't keep hurting you over and over.

You can find support for your own pain by going to S-Anon, http://www.sanon.org/sanon.htm for the spouses of people with sex addiction. You'll get a lot of support from women who are going/have gone through the same hurt and confusion that you're feeling.

Go easy on yourself--it is normal to have a wide range of responses when you find out your husband has been cheating. To read more about sex addiction, read books by Dr. Patrick Carnes--he does a great job of explaining it. Here is a link to his website: http://www.sexhelp.com/

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