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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Well just wanted to update you on whats been happening. We

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Well just wanted to update you on whats been happening. We had our two year anniversary recently and nothing seems to be changing. My boyfriend says he loves me and want to be with me forever but will not make a formal committment. He says its not the right time since his business is having major financial issues. This is not going to change anytime soon, could be years if not forever. I really in my heart do not feel one thing should have anything to do with the other. He says he does not feel like celebrating anything, engagement, wedding, marriage with the way he feels. I said he should want to celebrate us. I really want someone that does not feel that way, I have given him everything and while I know he does love me and appreciates the fact that I accept all of the issues with him and his business I would think he would want to hold onto me and give me what I really want, to have a commitment with him. He I feel would allow me to break up with him rather than change his mind for something I really want. How can real love work like that???
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 5 years ago.
Right now he is going through something with his business which is causing financial problems. Im sure his idea of getting married too you was going to be a time where you both wouldn't have to worry financially. Im sure he pictured his business being successful where you both wouldn't have to worry about anything. Now he feels like he failed and now everything is a struggle. What is happening is he is disappointed he feels like he let you down. Now because he is upset and feels like this should be a happy time in your life, he is feeling disappointed. But he does have to think about there is positive things in like and that is you and him being together and loving each other. Getting married and celebrating your love for each other is important time in your life. Yes, his business is not doing well, but you have each other and together you will get through it. You need to explain too him that you love him and some times life can't be put on hold that you love him and you also have wants and needs in this relationship. Financial problems are causing a problem for him in your life but he needs to know that it doesn't effect your love for each other. Even with the business this is a special time in your life. Explain that planning for the future can be something you both can plan together. If you have any more questions I am here to answer.
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