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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question

Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7532
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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i am having serious problems with my defacto partner of 24

Resolved Question:

i am having serious problems with my defacto partner of 24 years she wont talk to me or let me touch her for 4 weeks since she found out i used an adult website called rudefinder where there i
is pictures of girls and you can talk to them online.i used the site three times and only cause
i was bored.any advice john
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 5 years ago.
-- You might want to start with accepting full responsibility for your actions and not making any excuses. You'll especially want to avoid blaming her for leaving you alone. If you were a toddler who got into trouble, yes, you'd have a point, but a grown man is able to choose between right and wrong.

If you're bored, find something useful to do. There are hundreds of local volunteer needs that fill the bill and you can look for something interesting by checking

Whether you have skills or are completely disabled, they can match nearly anyone with anything

In any event, the point is that it's up to you and your creativity to keep yourself out of trouble and making decisions that don't hurt the one you obviously love.

Talk to her honestly and openly. Remember, do not blame her for this. By standing up and accepting the consequences of your actions you'll have a much better chance at moving on from this.

Good luck
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
what would be a good way to go about this and start the ball rolling john
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 5 years ago.
-- When she is not in a rush and you're in any room other than the bedroom, tell her, "Honey, you're absolutely right, I am wrong and I am sorry. I did something that I'm sure felt like I was betraying you and I'd like to repair this damage"

--- Once you use the words "I am wrong" you'll have her attention. When you acknowledge how it must have made her feel, prepare to hear an ear full, but at least you'll be clearing the air and moving on.

AND you'll never do this again, right?
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