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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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Do you think that if my husband goes to a ball game and he

Resolved Question:

Do you think that if my husband goes to a ball game and he is away for about 10 hours and he does not call to say hello is normal?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Hello,

This could be a sign that he was really enjoying his outing and is confident enough in your relationship that he does not feel the need to "check in". These are good things. But it sounds like you are not feeling as confident and need reassurance. Am I missing something?.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes, Since we have been married he does this and always has an excuse. If the roles were reversed it would not be acceptable. We have had problems in 32 yrs. of marriage and I have ben trying to be understanding but now I think I am just being a fool.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Can you help me?

 

Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Would he be willing to get some marriage counseling around this issue? You need a safe place to be able tell him how you feel?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I have asked and he has declined.

 

Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Okay, then you may need to go to individual therapy alone. You can either get help with reframing his behavior so you can live with it or consider leaving the relationship. Leaving would be a huge adjustment and you would need the support of an impartial person to help you with the logistics of taking this step (if that is what you decide).

Learning to live with it means, not letting his behavior affect your mental and emotional well being (and ultimately your physical well-being. This is not easy and that is why you need the support peerson.
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