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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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help plz

Resolved Question:

my husbands friend smashed me against the wall and my husband did't do anything and then all but said it was my fault i grew up being very badly beaten and always thought he would protect me from harm the rest of my life and know i don't know what to do i also forgot to mention that i am waiting to have surgery on the arm that he used to flip me completely over and in the process he broke my finger and left a bruise on  my leg that covers my entire calf
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

At no point should you ever consider it your fault. This friend was way out of line. The fact that he even took anything this far is ridiculous. You have to not just tell your husband that it upset you but tell him all the ways you did not create this situation. This situation lies with the aggressor. Your options are limited because you can't change anyone's mind. But you have to challenge your husband's opinion with the fact that everyone is responsible for their actions. I would tell your husband that his defense of this behavior is changing the way you see him as a protector. That is even more important than what happened but it changes the way you trust him too. If it wasn't your fault then he shouldn't list what you could have done. If you present it this way it could make a difference. Sometimes people are not aware that they are justifying bad behavior. I would be totally honest and up front about the feelings you are having. Honesty is never a bad policy



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