How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I feel very alone in life & always have. My family are all

Resolved Question:

I feel very alone in life & always have. My family are all big talkers and talk about themselves most of the time. If they ask me anything about myself, it is as an afterthought and they are not really interested in the answer. My husband has no interest in me whatsoever. He doesn't want to hear how my day has gone, how my work has gone, what I think. Yet I know that all these people care for me in their way. I find the same pattern at work and with "friends". People find me odd and I don't fit in. I am quite a serious-minded person but have a good sense of humour. I'm quite a loner but do my best to be sociable when I'm with other people - but it doesn't work because they are just not interested. I have had one or two friends in the past but they have got fed up with me in the end and stopped being in contact. I don't fit other people's ideas of what a person should be like to fit in the mould they would like to see I think. I have some new work colleagues at the moment and I feel they would rather not have anything to do with me but because they have to, they are making the best of it. I think perhaps part of the problem is my European heritage inherited from my Mum- my way of thinking, my beliefs etc are very much based on my heritage and maybe it comes across as quite alien to British people, and despite what people say in public, they are not always as accepting of different cultures as they believe themselves to be - but I am only guessing here. It feels like the only person who really cared for me as a person was my Mum, who I lost 18 months ago. I miss her so much and feel more alone than ever now.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

It sounds like you have a solitary quality to your personality. This is okay but ask yourself if this is a result of low self esteem. If you just have trouble making friends that is fine but if this is a response to low self esteem then you may want to address that. Sometimes people find connecting with others difficult when they don't think highly of themselves. You should try to have some social contact that you enjoy. You have to find out what this is whether hobbies or interests. A class is a good idea but there are other interests. You can also consider seeing a therapist to work on your communication styles and the fact that you feel isolated or disconnected from others. This can be related to some issues in how you feel about yourself.

 

Some of this can be related to your place in the grief process. You could meet with someone to figure out if missing your mom is part of feeling that you are not heard. You may be relating to others as part of your grief.

 

If this is helpful press accept

Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I'm not sure if it is related to the grief process, although that hasn't helped the situation along. My "aloneness" has been with me for as long as I can remember.

 

I was quite solitary as a child, though I had my mother's attention until my brother was born when I was five. But he was born with health problems and I lost her attention almost entirely after that until, I suppose, I became old enough for she and I to become close "friends".

 

I don't know about the hobbies and interests thing - I've tried those and whilst I have been with people with a shared interest, it has never developed into friendship.

 

Sometimes, I get fed up about being me and would be quite content to be properly alone, except that I have to function in the world of people for as long as I have to work and it's getting me down that it isn't working out.

 

 

 

Expert:  psychlady replied 2 years ago.

It is okay to be a loner. That is a personality style that some people can be content with. However you need to find the happiness that comes with functioning in the every day world. That means that you need to find comfort and security in a certain degree of interacting with others. You can do that work in a clinical setting. You may also seek to resolve the feelings that you were left out when your brother arrived. Don't pressure yourself into a huge amount of contact just try to find the happy medium. You may find one day that some of these contacts are more pleasant. You have to leave your comfort zone a little to really be able to interact in your professional world. I would push myself in the idea that I can interact and let people come a little closer.

 

 

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency