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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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i have been in a relationship with my now ex bf for 2.5 years

Resolved Question:

i have been in a relationship with my now ex bf for 2.5 years suddenly he feels something is missing from our relationship but he doesnt know what it is. He had a dream that someone said he should propose to me and now everything is on a downward spiral. I love him so much but he thinks i'm too dependent on him. Is that part of his problem? should i just go away like he wants?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

First you have to figure out what you both want. If he wants you to "go away" then it won't matter what you do to mend this relationship. You have to figure out if his mind is made up regarding this relationship. If you are dependent and this is a deal breaker then you have to find out if this is the issue. It is too difficult to fix an issue when he doesn't know what that is. He has to isolate the issue if you want to stay together. Dependency can be a common issue in relationships. This issue can be resolved by communication and compromise. With compromising on some of your behavior then you can both benefit from just single change. Approach him about this and tell him that you want to work on your behavior to benefit both of you. Nothing is solved by guessing. So sit down with him and really figure out what would help for you to feel secure and him to feel happy. Have this discussion before it is too late.


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Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I dont think he wants me to go away but give him space and time alone but we seem to always fail at doing of us always ends up calling the other and we start seeing each other again... i guess i'm just very confused on what i should do to help 'us'
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
If you are failing at giving each other space then set a time to do this so that one of you appears to give in thus creating this cycle. Agree to come back together and meet after a reasonable time. At this point you discuss what is wrong and make a decision. Otherwise your option is couples counseling where you can learn to communicate. This can make a huge difference and can eliminate this back and forth cycle.
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