How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask MrsRuss0114 Your Own Question

MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 215
Experience:  B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
MrsRuss0114 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am 65 dating a woman, 63, I met three months ago. We have

Resolved Question:

I am 65 dating a woman, 63, I met three months ago. We have agreed we are exclusive and get along well, have very similar attitudes and interests and a good sexual attraction to each other. BUT, there's always a but......we go out to dinner or a drink three or four nights a week but she never picks up the tab, not once so far and that doesn't really bother me except now are talking about traveling together. Our financial circumstances are similar as we both own our homes (small mortgages) and our cars etc. She does visit her kids and grand kids in Atlanta (we live in SoCal) but that is not a big expense as she stays with them. My question is: what is realistic for me to expect her to pay for as we proceed in the relationship and especially as it relates to the travel? I have traveled with women before and they always helped with the expenses to the extent they were able.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thank you for choosing just answer, I look forward to assisting you.

I think the direct approach is best. When you're out one day or simply together take that time to initiate the discussion. You may have to tell her that although you're excited about vacationing with her, you wanted to make sure that both of you have a clear understanding of your financial responsibilities regarding this trip. If it's not feasible for you to foot the entire cost, you can let her know what you can and would be willing to pay for and clearly state that any left over expenses she will have to cover. Now, she may get offended since she's not had to pay for anything thus far but I think this is an important discussion to have as you may find yourself continuing to cover all expenses for the duration of your relationship if you don't.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Given the information I've provided my question is really: what are the normal and customary expectations for the situation I've described? I know I have to broach this topic at some point - sooner rather than later - due to what my feeling are, but as you can tell I am uncertain regarding what are reasonable expectations.
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 4 years ago.
Unfortunately, there are no "normal and customary procedures" for situations like this. I can tell you that some people have an old school mentality when it comes to dating and thus may be your case. Your girlfriend may be from the school of thought that since the two of you are exclusive it is the guy who pays for everything.

At this point, what is reasonable is based on what you're comfortable with doing and how feasible that is. If it's feasible for you to pay for all of the trips expenses(meals, lodging, transportation) but not her spending money and you're comfortable doing so then that's ok. If it's only the meals and transportation then it's ok to let her know that she will have to pay her portion of the lodging and have her own spending money.

It really may be a matter of her knowing what your expectations are. It would be ok to say to her when I've dealt with this type of situation in the past, this is how we handled it.
MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 215
Experience: B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
MrsRuss0114 and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
There is something seriously wrong with your system for me to be receiving this a third time. I approved the answer the day it was rendered and then again yesterday, 10/5. I am not about to do it again, and hope I am not being charged more than the total $15.00 I agreed to in the first place.

Richard Carnesale

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions