How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question

Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1850
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I want your advise on this problem Ive been in a long-term

Customer Question

I want your advise on this problem: I've been in a long-term relationship of 10 years with my boyfriend, (Im 55 & he's 58), which has sustained trials & tribulations of all kinds and we've always seem to survived together. For example, I was sick with breast cancer and he was there for me all the way from my diagnosis through my treatments, etc. , he also was there for me when my mom was dealing with her cancer (which unfortunately did not survive). This man was very loving, compationate, caring, trustworthy, honest, you name it. The issue is that since last year, he's been acting strangely in his behavior. He lost his job, his mother died this April and he moved back with his 88 year old father. This man was staying with me while I was ill and before that, spent time with me every weekend and called me on the phone every day. I felt loved and happy with him. Since then, I see less and less of him. He said that he feels depressed and that's the reason why he is withdrawn for me and our friends. I went to visit him and discussed the situation telling him to seek help from a professional in mental health. At first he wouldn't hear of it but later he agreed to go if I went with him . I told him I would. I have put a lot of time and effort in this relationship and so has he. We were talking about marriage before all of this occured. I asked him how he views our relationship at this point, whether he want to be friends and he said, "I was hoping we could be more than just friends". The problem is that although we don't live too far, he never comes by to see me or calls like he used to. He started to call me a little since his mom passed but then stopped. He did remember my birthday and sent me a card saying that he hoped to get over his cold & sore throat so he can see me real soon!! That was a month ago, and I still yet haven't heard from him. I've sent emails and he hasen't answered them. I want to help him because I love him and he said he loved me too, but its hard to do anything living apart and not communicating as we should. I don't want to quit on him after all he's done for me and because I care for him but he should cooperate a little and let me help him get treated for his depression. What can I do?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency