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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hello,I have a friend through my job that I really like and

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Hello, I have a friend through my job that I really like and whom I believe is a good person. We speak occasionally on the phone, but we live about 100 miles apart. Lately, I find myself dreading her calls. The reason is; she opened her own small business on the web, selling products and now every time we talk she pushes me to order something or check out her web site. She's not overtly rude, she's very polite, but persistent! At first I politely went and looked and complimented her on it, but told her (truthfully) that I really could not afford to order anything, (I feel her products are pricey and I can get a better price elsewhere). She just won't take the hint, and I finally ordered something, frankly speaking; mostly just to get her off my back. Now she asks me how I liked the product, and would I like to order more, and so on.... I like this lady, but how can I make her stop without hurting her feelings and ruining our friendship? Thank you!

Your first mistake was looking at the web site and the second was ordering something. When you did that you became a customer. I know you were being nice but you changed the relationship. Now it will take total honesty to get things back to being a friend. Tell her as a friend in a very frank tone that you cannot afford her products and won't be ordering anything in the future. Then tell her that you value the friendship and don't want her business to ruin it. Let her know that you don't like talking about the business but you don't want to hurt her feelings. This is the way to avoid ruining the relationship. You have to be honest but direct but also kind. Try this next time you speak and get things back on track.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you! Here is what I said:

Hi Diane, I just wanted to let you know I appreciate you letting me know about the vitamins for my eyes from your website. I feel they're a good product and helped my eyes. However, now that I am working only part time and our company has cut everyone's pay, I won't be able to afford your products anymore, as they are out of my price range; so I won't be ordering anything in the future. When I do need vitamins or some other product, I will have to make-do with bargain brands from Wal-Mart. Thanks for your understanding and thanks again for thinking of me. Gina

I think this is perfect. No guilt just facts. That is how you save a friendship
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