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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Im in Afghanistan and my girlfriend ended the relationship.

Resolved Question:

I'm in Afghanistan and my girlfriend ended the relationship. He says he is confused, alone and sad. Only wants me as a friend and that knowing someone. We've been together since October and return home in January. I advise not to look until you get home or leave everything like that and continue my life without her
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You unfortunately are subject to her feelings about being a couple. This is very common in long distance relationships and with the stressors of Iraq probably more so. It takes hard work and perseverance to have a relationship with a person so far away. If she has not answered any of your efforts then you have to talk away. She has made a decision and you have to respect that by allowing her that decision. If she was changing her mind she probably would have responded. When you accept the fact that it is over you free yourself of the fact that you need closure. She may not need the same. When you accept it you begin the healing process and you allow yourself the ability to move on. It also gives you a chance to free your heart and for someone else to come into it.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

But a person may forget how fast everything and lived on with your life that easy no matter what. I can not understand even if we were good at the beginning of August and said I wanted a month now and just wants me as a friend. We had a family relationship of commitment where our families knew of our plans. In truth I do not understand.

Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You don't have to understand. Emotions sometimes don't make sense. She is the one who knows her decisions. You only have to know that it is ending. You can ask her the details but it still has to end. Try writing her a letter asking her all your questions. That gives her a chance to write everything down. Sometimes that is less threatening than asking her a bunch of questions.
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