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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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my husband works like 5am till 5pm (approx) as a dispatcher

Resolved Question:

my husband works like 5am till 5pm (approx) as a dispatcher use to be truck driver, He does that occassionally. I just stopped working in March waiting for answer from disability. have had m.s. 11 yrs. oct. I use to work 6 days a week very busy it kills me not to work and to see him so busy. we have a new bed king size adjustible all the perks I am still very sexual he sleeps on the couch. I cant remember the last time we had sex. I found some strange porno in his truck, money missing. He comes home from work I have dinner ready he eats falls asleep within an hour. I have sat on the couch in beautiful negliges. I dont know what to do I am going to be 45 this month still attractictive, but thanks to him I have no self esteem at all. we have been married 15 yrs. what should I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like it is very hurtful to not have that physical intimacy. Your illness is causing you to feel vulnerable and intimacy would help you feel less to. You have talked to him but you need to do so when he is receptive. If that means that you find a counselor than that is what it means. He has to understand your needs right now. You have to have your needs met. That may mean finding someone to help you. There is online therapy where you would not have to leave your house. This is typically called ecounseling or etherapy. Find a quiet time when he isn't tired and tell him what you need. You have to get your point across. Find quality time that will bring you closer. Find intimate ways to be together whether that is through date nights or other intimate times. Make a date night in your home with a candlelight dinner. Model healthy ways to be other rather than sleeping.

 

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

WHEN HE DOES HAVE SOME TIME HE GOES GOLFING. HE GETS HOME AND AS USUAL SLEEPS IT JUST SEEMS LIKE WHAT DO I HAVE TO BE SMACKED IN THE FACE ITS OBVIOUS.

YOUR POINTS SOUND GREAT HE WILL SAY AND WHEN DO I HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!!

Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You should at this point think of being totally brutally honest. Tell him how this makes you feel and that you are losing the connection with him. Sometimes when people know how bad things are they get nervous and learn to compromise. You have to get your points across even if it is everything you are feeling. Tell him you need time for you. If he can fit in golf he can fit in that
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