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Ask Cathy Your Own Question

Cathy
Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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I meet a Man online in June. We have been talking everyday

Resolved Question:

I meet a Man online in June. We have been talking everyday since 1st of August and email each other everyday since July. We have made a good connection. He lives in Kentucky and I live in Houston. I believe he is sincere about meeting me. (1) I would like to know if I should visit him first or let him visit me first? He is single and owns his own home and so do I. He and I have shares pictures, addresses, phone numbers, facebook and he continues to call me everyday. He shared pictures of his home and some family members during the lost of his brothers wife. We even know that a decision has to be made at one point whether he live here or I might possible live there. (2) I want to know what kind of questions can I ask him to feel more confident in what we have?
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 2 years ago.

Cathy :

Hi and thanks for writing JA

Cathy :

are you there?

Cathy :

hi there, are you there?

Customer:

good how r you

Cathy :

I am fine thanks for asking and nice to see you

Cathy :

I have read your post

Cathy :

and congratulations on meeting a nice guy

Cathy :

sounds very nice to me

Customer:

yes i need advice

Cathy :

okay well I will do my best to help you on this

Cathy :

First off please understand I am a generation older than you so somewhat more cautious

Cathy :

about online relationships

Customer:

he is 58 and I am 60

Cathy :

okay well then you are my kinda gal

Cathy :

LOL

Cathy :

I think its fine for you to make the first visit

Cathy :

but you know I have read too many newspaper articles and watched too much Dr. Phil

Cathy :

I would go to visit him and stay in a hotel room first visit

Customer:

ok I am open minded to making the first visit but I don't want any surprises

Cathy :

yes me too I think the same way

Cathy :

can you find a way to stay in a nearby hotel first time?

Cathy :

after all if this was meant to be you have plenty of time later to stay together

Customer:

I could check but he wants me to stay at his house.

Cathy :

okay

Cathy :

I couldnt do that first visit but its up to you

Cathy :

again I watch way too much Dr. Phil

Cathy :

okay

Customer:

he extended hospitality to stay

Cathy :

again its up to you

Cathy :

its your choice

Customer:

yes and I don't want any surprises at this age.lol

Cathy :

what might surprise you?

Cathy :

a hidden wife? girlfriend? dirty dishes in the sink?

Customer:

I think he could have someone since he said he is a bachelor but he said he didn't

Cathy :

okay so thats fine then

Cathy :

he probably does not if he said so

Cathy :

what else concerns you

Customer:

no he said he is divorce, but a hidden girlfriend concerns me

Cathy :

okay and what sparks this suspicion?

Cathy :

something you read on fb?

Customer:

really just causious and he posted a new pic on facebook and 4 ladies responded one said "his girl"

Cathy :

okay well that should get your radar up

Cathy :

did you ask him abou tthis and what is his status on facebook

Cathy :

does it say

Cathy :

in a relationship with my Houston gal?

Customer:

yes he calls me back when I call him but he usually initiates the calling.

Cathy :

woops

Cathy :

it seems somehow a question dropped off the page

Cathy :

I was asking what his status was on FB

Cathy :

does he say he is in a relationship with you on FB?

Customer:

no I didn't see him saying he was in a relationship with me. He is single on facebook with lots of friends

Cathy :

okay so you dont really know

Cathy :

You know the best way to check this out is to go there and see. You are far braver than I as I would not stay in his home or any strangers no matter how hospitable they were so go and see.

Cathy :

I think you can check out the house and see pretty easily enough and then you will know right?

Customer:

should I ask him to post or say we are in a relationship. I need to ask him specific questions to make me feel more into what we have.

Cathy :

yes I would ask him and see what he says or does?

Cathy :

sounds fair to me

Customer:

yes I am brave but I want to be causious also. Should I ask him to lets set a date to meet and If I go there I'll stay at a hotel.

Cathy :

yes of course

Cathy :

and let me know how it works out

Cathy :

drop me a line and let me know how things went?

Cathy :

I will keep you in my thoughts.

Customer:

Ok thank my daughter said let him come here first, but I know I have to make a decision

Cathy :

I think you can learn more by going there but I also think the hotel is cautious and appropriate.

Cathy :

Drop me a line when you get back I will be waiting to hear how it went.

Cathy :

GOOD LUCK

Cathy :

and take good care

Customer:

Thank you

Cathy :

Pleasure talking to you and I hope this turns out to be a true love match.

Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience: Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
Cathy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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