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Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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I love my boyfriend. I have been supportive the entire time

Customer Question

I love my boyfriend. I have been supportive the entire time we have been together. If he needs something... I'm there to help him. His job has consumed his life, and I have been there on the side lines being supportive. He's constantly cancelling plans with me... plans with my daughters.. He has no sexual desire towards me ( this is an ongoing issue). He doesn't kiss me and won't let me lay next to him in bed. He's been talking about his secretary more and has helped pay her electricity bill. He told me today that if I would make more money, he would work less. My boyfriend's Mom announced a few months back that her son goes back and forth on the idea of us getting married...and he never said anything to me about that. He said he needs more free time so he can be an active participant in our relationship first before we could get married. He never has free time. I feel like I am waiting for nothing. I'm not sure why he completely checked out of our relationship... but he seems to not care. He did tell me it was up to me if I wanted to stay with him and walked out the door. I feel lost, undesired, unappreciated and completely unloved. I can't help but feel he may be talking to someone else... And... we live together with my two young daughters who call him their step dad.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 5 years ago.

Cathy :

Hi and thanks for writing JA, I have read your post and it is pretty clear from this end that your boyfriend is making no attempt to work on marriage with you or intimacy or much of anything so I have to ask you, what do you get out of this? Do you wish to be saddled with a husband who has no time for you, is not sexually attracted to you and does not care whether you stay or leave? Please let me know about this. I can see you are in so much pain and I am hoping you can help us to help you by clarifying this. Warm regards on a painful question, Cathy

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