It is unfortunate that you tried marriage counseling and have feelings about that. We usually recommend this when there is poor communication about anything. This offers an impartial view on a problem. Maybe the problem is more communication than the sex. Sometimes relationships become less passionate for many reasons. You can examine this by finding a copy of Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. This will help you talk about sex with each of your own needs in mind. You can also find another professional.that you like better than the last. You can do this in your living room by logging on to etherapy sites that will help you discuss this together while using IM or web cam. Your wife may be able to verbalize her concerns about sex if you use these methods. If you find it is not her sex drive ask her why she masturbates but isn't interested.She knows the reason.
If this is helpful press accept. Sorry for the delay