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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hello. I am currently a college student and up until the beginning

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Hello. I am currently a college student and up until the beginning of my freshman year, I was dating my "high school sweetheart" of sorts. This past year, I went through a very difficult relationship with another person that allowed me to really appreciate him a lot more and I quickly fell in love with him. However, I suggested that we do not date during the summer because I knew that I was very hurt. We hung out everyday and ended up acting like a couple anyway. Over the course of the time, I said some really hurtful things, got really possessive, and ultimately made him feel trapped. I had no idea that I was doing any of this until recently. (He never complained, even when I begged him to tell me what I was doing wrong.) Before he officially started his school year at a new school last week, he told me that he just "wanted us to be friends." I became very dependent on him, expected too much from him, and now I think I've pushed him away for good. I still really love him and I really want to be with him for many years to come. But I feel like I might have lost him for good, even though he said he just wants to take a year off. (He wants me to wait for him like he waited for me last year.) I don't know what to do right now. Should I start moving on or just wait to see what happens? He says he wants to do what I did last year so I'm afraid that the girl he may end up dating will be better for him than I was since his last memory of me was really negative. I just don't want to be surprised like I was this year. Can you please help me?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You should do what your heart tells you to. If you think that you really want to move on then do so. Don't do what he wants unless that is what you want. Your decision has to be dictated by what you want and what you feel you can do. Even though you want to have this relationship, your instinct knows what you want and if you can wait. Don't wait just because of what you have done. Do it because that is what you want. You can't obsess about who he may date. You have to think about if this is salvageable and if he is doing this to put you in the same predicament. If you genuinely need time to heal that is perfect but don't do it just to please him.


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