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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Thanks for your insight on this matter. My current gf spoke

Customer Question

Thanks for your insight on this matter. My current gf spoke to her mom and is getting a loan and using some her bonds to free up money which is good news. I do have a question about this other girl whom you have answered my questions. I asked her a lot of questions abou the stuff u told me and you were pretty much right on the money. Now she did tell me that she needs me to put more of an effort in to date her. So she does want to be chased. Now I am thinking here that this girl prob won't settle for anything less then a guy showering her with love and affection. So this girl could be alot to deal with in terms o constantly worrying if I would be satisfying her emotionally. I think it take a guy with a lot of patience to date a girl like this. Am I right? And since I own my own business my hours change jobs change and I am not sure if this person would understand that. She also did say she dated guys with kids and didn't like she wasn't number on or 2. So is this somebody that I would have to literally cater to and constantly worry if I am satisfying her emotional needs. Bec if so this one could be a lot of drama and I think most guys would run even though she is established and is extremely attractive. Am I getting closer in pinning down her personality?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 5 years ago.
You mentioned she is attractive and established so she knows she has a lot to offer, so she can be demanding. She also can be controlling because she wants what she wants. I think you have her personality down perfectly. She would be someone that you would have to make sure she was number one and she would request a lot of attention. I feel she would aspect a lot from you. I want you to look at the relationship you have right now. Some times you think you want something and deep down you realize that isn't what you wanted all along. She is a beautiful girl that is established. But often times what people are most attracted to is personality, compatibility. I want you to really look at your current girlfriend who you have a current life with and see her qualities. Discover what your feelings are for her.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Well that's kinda why I asked her so many questions. It just seems that this girl is nice but I can tell already what I am in for. She's not chasing me if u know what j mean. Also I am a scorpio and it says for a woman not to even try to control a scorpio bec we can't be controlled. So how does a controlling girl do with somebody that can't be controlled?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 5 years ago.
Your a Scorpio which is a very strong sign and also a very somatic loving sign. You would be someone that needed to be appreciated for the things you bring into a relationship and I feel she would always want more. To controlling people would both be trying to always be controlling the situation, even the small things. In order for someone in control to be balanced they have to do what they want in order to be balanced in life. If something they cant control surfaces its difficult to handle and could cause feelings of being upset, annoyed, or anger. I feel she would be very challenging.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
So in other words this girl is probably single bec most guys couldn't keep up with her constant wants and needs. Yesterday she tells me she wants a puppy. I said they are tough to take care of for a single person living in a home. She said I don't care I still want one. Is this the type of crap I would have to deal with. When she says jump I say how high. She also pointed out that she finds nothing wrong with her going away with friends wo each other and vice versa. I mean how does somebody even try to date a girl like this?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 5 years ago.
It also could be because she can not find someone that suits her. She might be very fussy on who she dates and stays with. If she is attractive and established she can be choosy on who she picks. You would never be able to control her or tell her what to do. She is just going to tell you she is doing it. If she wants to take a trip with her friends, she is never going to ask you if its ok. She is just going to go. If you had a relationship with her it would be a challenge because she is set in her life in what she wants. Do you find yourself attracted too her because she is a challenge?

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