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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question

Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7532
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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not laughing together

Customer Question

I've been with my fiance for 3 years, and I've realized that we've never really laughed "together." We always seem to laugh at different things or take turns laughing at each other because of something we see them doing as "cute," but we've never really had a moment that someone could look at and immediately think "they enjoy each other and make each other happy." I think what's drawn us together is that we're both quiet and we've never had many friends so we're some of the very few people we're able to just be ourselves and share everything with. However, due to the realization that we've never really laughed together I'm beginning to wonder if simply being introverts and not having any other friends is the only thing we have in common. Is this a serious problem?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 5 years ago.
-- There are many, many couples like you who have marriages lasting 50 years or more and are quite happy. However, what I see happening in a considerable number of cases is when one of the 'team' passes on, the one remaining is lost. It can be very difficult to build new friendships after many years of having just one.
While I've never met anyone who regretted a single day they had with their loved one, nearly all of the remaining people do regret not making more of a social effort and having friends to see them through.

As for laughing together, it's only a problem if you feel it is. If you have enough other things in common, there's room for differences. After all, chances are that you don't both like the same foods, the same amount of spice on foods, the same flavor of ice cream or even the same favorite colors, right?

You really should expand your social horizons. Find a club or something to be involved in even once or twice a month.

Surely there's something, right?

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