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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am married and been having a relationship with a married

Customer Question

I am married and been having a relationship with a married man for 10 yrs. We had a yr break because he lived out of state but remained friends. He now has moved back and the relationship back on for 1.5 yrs. We got more close than ever but felt drained as alot going in my life. I tried to break it off but decided truely not what I wanted. At first, he appeared ok with it. But later became angry or almost hurt as he kept conpulsing on the situation. I offered to discuss via phone but kept communication via text because apparently he couldn't make sense of the situation. He now texts only 1 a week but nothing like before. He says he still doesn't understand but at peace with it. So, what does that mean? That it is over or that he forgave the situation and letting things cool off? I need some type of closure if friend status. What do I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You have to decide what you want and what he wants. Your decision has to be based on where this relationship is. The only way to figure that out is by allowing him to expand on what he wants at this point. If you are just friends you have closure. The closure is that your relationship and communication is on a limited basis. You both have to be clear on what you want. You don't need to make excuses to carry out what you want. Be clear and act accordingly. Invest your time and he should invest his in the relationships that are primary your marriages. He of course has more than that. It would be in your best interest to end it and let his 3 women deal with his behavior. You are doing yourself no favors by continuing this. You are only 1 of 4 and if you remember that you will have closure


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
So, do I leave the communication alone? After 10 yrs, kind of hard to let go and wish I knew if he was invested. I know he was working on ending multiple relationships but then again, what can I trust?
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

I would absolutely leave the communication alone. It is hard to let go but if letting go is the right decision then that is what you have to do. He isn't invested. If he was he would not have 3 other relationships. You can't trust him. He may be telling them the same thing. You deserve a healthy relationship with someone who is honest.


Turning in tonight. Hope you feel better or I will be back tomorrow

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