How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6887
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
52358615
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am married and been having a relationship with a married

Customer Question

I am married and been having a relationship with a married man for 10 yrs. We had a yr break because he lived out of state but remained friends. He now has moved back and the relationship back on for 1.5 yrs. We got more close than ever but felt drained as alot going in my life. I tried to break it off but decided truely not what I wanted. At first, he appeared ok with it. But later became angry or almost hurt as he kept conpulsing on the situation. I offered to discuss via phone but kept communication via text because apparently he couldn't make sense of the situation. He now texts only 1 a week but nothing like before. He says he still doesn't understand but at peace with it. So, what does that mean? That it is over or that he forgave the situation and letting things cool off? I need some type of closure if friend status. What do I do?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.

You have to decide what you want and what he wants. Your decision has to be based on where this relationship is. The only way to figure that out is by allowing him to expand on what he wants at this point. If you are just friends you have closure. The closure is that your relationship and communication is on a limited basis. You both have to be clear on what you want. You don't need to make excuses to carry out what you want. Be clear and act accordingly. Invest your time and he should invest his in the relationships that are primary your marriages. He of course has more than that. It would be in your best interest to end it and let his 3 women deal with his behavior. You are doing yourself no favors by continuing this. You are only 1 of 4 and if you remember that you will have closure

 

If this has been helpful press accept

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
So, do I leave the communication alone? After 10 yrs, kind of hard to let go and wish I knew if he was invested. I know he was working on ending multiple relationships but then again, what can I trust?
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.

I would absolutely leave the communication alone. It is hard to let go but if letting go is the right decision then that is what you have to do. He isn't invested. If he was he would not have 3 other relationships. You can't trust him. He may be telling them the same thing. You deserve a healthy relationship with someone who is honest.

 

Turning in tonight. Hope you feel better or I will be back tomorrow

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1580
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1580
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    914
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/NP/nphbrown/2012-7-30_24048_ImYrManSerious1.64x64.jpg Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    377
    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    364
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/AL/aliciamiller/2012-4-9_21330_profilepicture.64x64.jpg Alicia_MSW's Avatar

    Alicia_MSW

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    331
    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    320
    Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
3587 Satisfied Customers
I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues