The only way to know if there is a solution is to enter counseling together and find out. Of course he would have to be motivated. I am wondering if you told him how unhappy you are would he do this to save the relationship. You can take all of these issues up with a counselor and find out if it is worth saving. His issues may be too much at this point but then at least you would know that you gave it your best. Don't worry about his "diagnosis" as much as seeing if the relationship has enough left to survive whatever is going on. If in your heart you say I really want to walk away then nothing will work but separation. And then his behavior or mindset does not matter. You don't have to stay with a relationship out of obligation. You have to be happy. You decide first before you discuss any kind of plan what it is you really want. And then inform him of same. If you think the relationship with mom is intrusive then you have a decision to make. Over the next few days decide what you want and communicate this to him.
If this has been helpful press accept