How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask MrsRuss0114 Your Own Question

MrsRuss0114
MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 214
Experience:  B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
56136667
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
MrsRuss0114 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I reached out to an old friend I knew from high school about

Resolved Question:

I reached out to an old friend I knew from high school about 5 years ago and we developed a friendship again. I'm 37 and have been divorced for 6 years with an 8 year old son. He's 43 and never been married with no kids. Against my better judgement I've also had sexual encounters with him over the 5 years but I only saw him every few months because he travels for his career. At the time I reached out to him we really hit it off and he told me he was going through a break up with his girlfriend. It finally ended a year ago and we grew closer so two months ago I asked him for a commitment to just be exclusive (not marriage) and he said he wasn't ready. We had plans the next day but I was crushed so I sent him a text and told him I couldn't see him that day because I couldn't continue falling in love with him when he made it clear he wasn't ready for a commitment. He said he understood and would honor my feelings. So we didn't see each other and I didn't hear from him nor did I contact him until a month later when I wished him a happy bday. He thanked me but said he was wondering if he'd ever hear from me again. I said of course we're still friends right? He blew up at me and said he thought we were until I cut him out of my life with no regards XXXXX XXXXX feelings. I apologized and told him he didn't leave me a choice since he wasn't ready for a commitment and I was falling in love with him. He told me it was never about the sex and he loved spending time with me so we agreed to just be friends. This past Sunday was the first time I saw him and he confessed his love for me and told me he wanted to marry me one day and have a baby with me. Then he brought me to his parents house and in front of me told his mother I was the woman he was going to marry and have a baby with. He never agreed to a commitment though and said we would remain friends with no sex until the time came that we were both ready for more. I do believe he was genuine with his feelings for me and realized he didn't want to lose me but my question is should I wait for a proposal now to engage in sex with him again or should I go back to having sex with him since he professed his love and plans for our future together? I don't want to use sex as a tool but I'm so confused because we aren't committed and I'm afraid of getting my heart broken.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 3 years ago.

Russ0114 : Hello and thank you for choosing just answer, I look forward to assisting you.
Russ0114 : I think until you have a solid commitment then you should continue to be "just friends, no sex" it's one thing to say something but it only means something when there's an action behind it. I completely get your confusion, at one point he says he's not looking for a commitment and then on the other hand he's telling his mother the two of you are going to get married and have children; very mixed signals. So again, until you have something tangible like a ring and a proposal then my advice is to not engage in sex.
MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 214
Experience: B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
MrsRuss0114 and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions