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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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What should i do?

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Me and this girl have been talking for a few months now and im head over heels for her and she knows it.. She was hurt in the past so needs time to get past it i don't want to pressure her  i want to give her time but i just am afraid that she will meet someone else and forget about me.. She comes over and cuddles with me and hangouts with me and says she dont do that for all her friends im special.. She uses friend alot when talking about us. She also tells me that she doesnt want to talk to anyone else she only wants to talk to me just wants to get to knwo me better.she was telling em about this guy she used to liek but it never worked out and now hes trying to contact her on facebook.. This is what she wrote.

Hey, I accepted that guy to see what has changed in his life and... He looks terrible to start with, second he still drinking and smoking like a biach.. I hate that very much. Too many things that I don't like about him to be wasting my time with him. I really like spending time with you, texting you... Getting to know you. All these has nothing to do with the presents and surprises you has giving me.. Is just the way you treat me, you joke with me. I can't stand you but... I am getting use to you and now you stucked with me, sorry!
Wish I could take more time to get to know you without you expecting anything from me, but things are how they are and I accept it. So anyways.. Just wanted to share this with you and let you that I very happy for having you in my life, mind and all those cheesy stuffs. Lol... Joking but it is true all I said. You are someone to keep! Thank you again for my flowers, it meant a lot to me. A LOT.

What should i do i want to be with her..
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is giving you all very positive signs, but is just afraid so soon to be in a relationship with you. She is someone that liked to feel comfortable and not be rushed. She wants to get t know you before she makes a commitment. She just wants tango slow. That's ok. I feel she is in the process of being in a relationship with you. But just wants to start off as friend, get to understand you better. She spend her time cuddling with you and says she doesn't do that with herother friends. What she is saying is you mean more too her then any of he friends. She is trying to tell you she wants to be with you in a relationship, but let's get to known each other better. She doesant want to move to fast. Also she is not going to forget about you because you both are taking things slow. She is not a person that rushes relationships. She takes her time. I think this is a start of a great relationship. If you have any questions I will gladly answer.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She says that im very special to her and she appreciates me and loves that im in her life. i understand she don't want to go fast but she broke up with her ex a year ago and a few months ago she was not dating but hanging out and kissing with this other kid but she told me he was annoying and shes tired of him hes a liar and everything.. how can she be into him but not me did he mess it up for me?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She says she cant guarentee me that shell want to be in a relationship she just appreciates my friendship so much and if i dont want to wait around i should just stop trying..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She says
I am not scared I want to make sure I can give you my heart... Its Me...all about you is beautiful.

and

"I like you I told you that I hope that's good enough, Sometimes I think about you and I feel that I miss you too. But let me explore this don't get anxious I want you to see the real me.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I think that in this relationship you mean so much too her that she doesn't want to mess this u. She wants to do every single thing right. This is why she is taking her time. She might have got her heart broken before or feelings maybe she has done the wrong things in relationships. She doesn't like the other guy because she feels she wasn't compadiable with him. She wants to see where this friendship is going to go and she wants to show you the real her. That is a strong, positive statement the person that wants to she you the real her is someone that wants to have a relationship where you know her for who she is. She doesn't want you to be surprised in how her personality is. If you guys date now she feels you don't know the true you. Then she feels this could mess up a friendship and the start of a new realtiondhip. If you are both friends getting to know each other, then she doesn't have to worry about breaking up or damaging the friendship. I would get to know her because I feel this is a good start to a rewltionship.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
So i should just sit back and wait till shes ready? form everything i said honestly do you think i will be waiting forever?>
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I don't think you will be waiting a long time. I think she is really thinking about being with you. The more you hang out and the more you talk and get to know each other, she will realize her feelings for you and you maybe cold get her to opeup her feelings a little.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi , Thinsg have gotten alot better shes starting to show feeling better now thank you.. but she will start college on August 22nd and im afraid that once she starts she will meet anothe guy and maybe enjoy him better. Shes going Mondays wed and fris will this interfear with us hanging out alot and such? What could i do to keep her mind with me while in school?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
One thing I want you to do is focus on you and her. You don't want to look ahead into her starting college you just want to enjoy your time together with her. You can think about what if. She is going to meet new people but you have left a lasting impression on her. I feel she can not help her feelings for you. She is going to want to be with you. Let's thinks about this, maybe she feels that no one will ever compare too you. The heart always knows what it wants. When you over thinks things it doesn't let you focus on what is in front of you. She is interested in you. Don't worry abut what if this might happen. She will be busy with school, but it doesn't mean things will change, this is an exciting time in her life starting college. She is going to share this experience with you. She will come home and tell you all about her time there. Be supportive and it will bring you closer because she knows you are going to be there for her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I wanted to do something very nice for her. Her mother passed away about a year ago. She has a picture of her with a cute saying and i had the picture framed with the saying across it.. is that a good idea or no?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Wow, what a great idea and very thoughtful. That really will show her that you understand her. That would be such a nice, touching gesture. The things you do to show someone you care means such much to people and they leave lasting impressions. You doing that is something she will always remember.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We were talking today and this is what i got from her what do ou think..

Anybody can have me.. The only detail is that I don't want to. I am taking my time with you.. To have a good start of a nice friendship..

I think about you all the time.. But idk why I feel you won't be here too long... I am not playing w you and I know you want this to move forward..I take

you are my friend" " " and I am trying to tell you everything so you know what is out there in my life.

My time.. And I have a feeling that u need more.

: I want to have butterflies when I kiss you and feel good about it.. No like I used you... I care for you... I do.

Everything good takes time.. I don't want to damage US.

Then i said do u think if u dont become my girl tomorrow ull stop talking to u. She said maybe and im not saying im going to be your girl and im not saying i wont

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
When she says anyone can have me. This is saying she can be choosy in who she picks but her heart is with you right now and she is taking her time to build this relationship. She think about you all the time. So her feelings are strong. But she is afraid to open up because she think you will not be with her long. That you will leave.she wants you to get to know the real her before you make these decisions. She wants you to know her whole life. She is trying to establish a good relationship. She is asking you if you both could take your time and let this friendship progress into a relationship where you feel butterflies when you kiss. I would not pressure her and grow this relationship. She is asking not for time, she is asking for you both to grow together.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Its just i know this is the girl i want i guess i never went this slow before. I dont want to lose her i wana be hers and take care of her.. Thank yo for answering me i will send you more money for all your help just gotta get paid first..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Should i just keep everything going the way it is? or should i fade away alittle to make her miss me even tho she says she does miss me..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I don't want you to fade away at all she will think you are backing off from her. She needs to feel secure that you are there for her and are not leaving. I don't want her to have any doubts at all that you are going anywhere. You know this is the girl for you, so you need to take it slow and enjoy this time in getting to know her. She wants you to go slow and this will help establish a strong relationship. Listen to what she is saying about taking things slow this is really what she wants and I know it will be beneficial because you are taking your time getting to know each other. I feel she just wants to avoid making any mistakes because you are really important too her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
but why does she consist on using the Friend word alot.. and what about when she said she cant say if she will or wont be my girl?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This does happen when people are nervous about putting a label on a relationship. She wants to say that you are just friends, so she doesn't get nervous. If she puts a label on it. Then she feels she will risk her relationship. She doesn't want to mess this relationship up in any way so she will not label it. She doesn't want to tell you if she will be your girl because she doesn't want to tell you because you might stop caning her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
SO my best option is just stick it out and hope for the best that one sayd she will come around and want to be mine..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Yes, you need to stick it out because this is a start of a relationship. But it willbe developed very slow. She just wants to be sure. She wants you to know her for who she really is, she doesn't want you to have no surprises. She wants you to feel comfortable in the relationship. She wants to know you are going to be there for her and not leave her. She wants you to be sure she is what you want.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What is your opinion on the best way to show her im not going anywhere and that i wana be with her without pressuring her..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Be yourself and don't change the person you are. I think one fear she has is often times friendships change when to people get involved. People change because the relationship get serious. Right now you are both friends. When your in a relationship it brings on pressure you need to be yourself do not pressure her and things will develop. Be her friend like you are use to being with no pressure. Don't look at this relationship as a relationship. Look at it as a friendship that is going to develop into a relationship. Just keep hanging out and getting to know each other and if you want to call or text just do it. Just like a friend would don't even think about it.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thank you Debra thank you very much your very well versed in this and i hope i can keep coming to you when i need you..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You can always come to you when you need help. I am here with any questions you might have and thank you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I know im a pain in the rear haha but she said this to me..

I will be thinking about how cute, sweet, amazing,awesome,nice perfect kind honest,smart sexy unique funny and paitent of a person you have been to me..

For no reason would i ever wana lose you, You are my best company Muhax

then i said you wont lose me your going to be my wife one day you'll see..

she said: I will see..i am not blind i do wear glasses but i can still see dont worry..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I am always here to answer your questions and what she wrote too you is absolutely amazing. This is the best sign you could have got. It was really good when she said she is not blind. She is saying that she is noticing everything you do. Everything she said about you she is noticing what a great wonderful person you are. Everything that you are doing is working. You are giving her what she needs. Keep being yourself and you will keep seeing this relationship progress into an amazing relationship. This is the best message she sent she is on her way to letting you in her heart to begin a relationship. She openly admitted how she felt about you. That takes a lot to tell someone how wonderful you think they are so she is comfortable and confident, and trust you with her feelings, all great signs.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi debra, we are gettting.more and.more close and its akqzing but this wrek her famil are coming in from spain and i wont see her all week. She told me this week will be good for us. How will.this.week be good . Will it give her.time to.miss.me
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is saying this week will be good for you because it will give you both that time to miss each other. Knowing you both will not be together this week because she will be busy. But make sure you keep inncontact. She thinks about you when you both are not together. Often times being around family makes you really think about what you want in life. Then you often go to what is very comfortable in life and she will go to you to tell you all about them coming to visit. This is a very good thing for you and I feel it will strength the relationship. Make sure you ask if her family got in ok, and say too her it must be exciting that your family is coming in from Spain. Keep in touch with her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Oh of courae im going to keep in touch with her she wanta to see what were talking about on here but i have told ypu some hings she doesnt.know.about how can i show her qhat were talking about i want her to know everything
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You could explain everything we are talking about if you do not want to shoo her the detail of our conversation. If there are things you do not want her to know you can tell her what we have been discussing. You can show her the site, so she knows who you are talking with and show her some of the conversation that you would like her to see. It is up to you what you are comfortable in sharing.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I am doing everyrhing we talked about and i see the difference with her shes opening up.more she said shes gonna tell her aunt about me.. i know shes perfect for.me just the way we are together you can see we will deff workout. She aaid she doesnt wanna waste time. I can tell i mean alot to.her
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I am.not going to text her alot over the week but i do want to text some to let her.know im.still here and caring how much is.too much texting
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I want you to text the same amount you have been doing this week. Right now you are both doing very well. So you need to keep up what you are doing. She is going to tell her aunt about you, this is the best sign because you always want to talk about an important person in your life with someone you are close to and she obviously like to talk too her aunt. She wants to tell a family member about you that is very positive. You should be very happy about this right now. This is going to be a great relationship. It sound like she is excited to tell her aunt about you. Now don't back off do exactly what you are doing with testing.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She said to me.. this is her last weekend of relax cause now she starts school and work shes gonna be busy no more playing around. Then i said yes no.more wasting time with me. Shr said nooo dont say that u make me see life beautiful again u make me.amile and happy and show me what a good friend is. I said im not going anywhere if i do who will marry u and make u happy the rest of ur life.. she said someone else then wrote ha ha. I feel really good about this and talking to u helps alot
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
And shes still usingthe friend word alot lol
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Were still cuddling and shes feelong.more.and.more.closer.to.me we havent kissed on lips yet i.jope thats not something i have to worry about maybe like shes not into.ke enough to do that or juat not ready. Its fine i know shes liking me.more but its hard to read sometimes when she uses the friemd word.alot.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I don't want you to even think about the word friend. Often times people just use the friend word not because they are trying to remind you that you are friends. Its just because they don't want to let you know they are thinking about you more in a relationship way. Its like she is tying to convince herself that you both are just friends but she feels differently. She is letting you know she is going to be busy, but she doesn't want you to think he doesn't want to spend time with you. She wants to show you that she is motivated and is looking at the future. A good thing to say is that you think its amazing that she is starting school. She has said very uplifting things and pretty much saying she sees life differently because of you. He comments were so thoughtful and caring. Really good sign that she needs you in her life.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yea that does sound good. She met.my.mother the other day and my.mom.said bye to her and ahe said.ill see you again soon. I have never felt this way about anyone other then my ex who pedt.me 5 years ago but i feel closer and more connected to this girl ahe always tells me tezt all the timw ur not bother. And that she lovea hanfing out she qlways has a great time and.now that i live close she said we can hangout.all the time..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I.mean she has to feel something more for.me if shes the one who said this week will be good for ua. She says she misses me and will.miaa me.soo muxh this week.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She tells you to text any time and she loves hanging out with you. These are very positive messages from her. Also telling your mom that use will see her soon. All signs that she is not going anywhere. You mentioned you feel closer to this girl than your ex. I think one reason is because you are taking things slow and really getting to know each other with no pressure. Its a start of a great relationship. Because you both are friends first you know each other better because you are spending that time with each other without the pressureof a relationship. I believe her feelings are strong and that is why she said she will miss you. I think she loves having you in her life.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We play a game when.im sweet she gives.me points and i have 24 points and once i get to 100 she said i get a suprise. I asked if i will become her boyfriend at 100 she said no that wont make u my bf . She said thats just a title anyway . Then she sais just keep earning those points and youll see wgat your suprise is..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Did you really here what she said its just a title. A title of boyfriend is not important too her. Its just about enjoying each other company and getting to know each other. You have 24 points. That's a lot of points in the game you have already. That is very sweet that you both have a point system. You will be at 100 soon, you must can't wait to see what your suprise. It like you are already in a relationship without a title.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yea e get along extremly well and i juat wanna be with her and yea its just a title but i hope we are togethwr one day
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We have a game i tell her she has 7 months to fall for me anf she says she doesnt wat to waste time..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We have a game i tell not that she has only 7 months but i know within 7 she will fall for me. We also talk about her roomate how he eats her food and it .bothers her but then i say we csn.move.in i wont eat ur food.or ill even give u the big room. And she said its different with u u can eat my food and well share a room
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Everything she says is like you are in a relationship. The food comment and the roommate comment. Its like you are both together,but she will not say boyfriend she says friend. That is a cute game 7 months but I think she is already falling for you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She also said that she loves that im private person cause she is too alot of giys try to talk to jer and she tells me everything but she dont tell anyone about me. Ahe told me that if this is going to qork you have to open up to me and i said i will.. she said ahe is really starting to like me alot but then that friend word lol she said she can see i respect her and she loves it. She loves everything about ke says im.deff someone to keep
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She said earlier that shes aoo glad that im her friend. And i said dor.now joking and she said ummm i guess. I said.oh u juat guess not yes maybe sometime or ewwww.never lol just u guess. And she said. If you say so whatever.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I showed her some.of our.convo and what u been.saying and she said your a very smart.lady..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She also said that she loves that im private person cause she is too alot of giys try to talk to jer and she tells me everything but she dont tell anyone about me. Ahe told me that if this is going to qork you have to open up to me and i said i will.. she said ahe is really starting to like me alot but then that friend word lol
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She said she is starting to like you a lot, this is great. I think taking things slow is developing her feelings stronger. By her taking her time she is really getting to know you. You do need to open up too her as well, letting her in your life. You really care about this girl and you need to also share who you are. You are guiding her trust and she know you care about her. You have showed her that your feelings are real and you are willing to take the time to really know her and who she is.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well thank you debra and i want to ahow her everything we have been talking about so im going to taje the chance and show her..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You welcome, you want to show her our conversation and you feel that is the right thing for you to do, then you should show her. I understand you want to share this with her and she can see how much you care for her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hey Debra, Well we have been texting and things are going good. I feel great shes still making me happier then ever, I miss her like crazy and she has been texting me she misses me.. I am just not trying to text her too much because she doesn't get to see her aunt and i don't want to bother her i want her to have as much time as possible with her family..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is so thoughtful letting her spend time with her aunt so you are not testing as much, but explain that too her so she knows why the textihg cut down because I don't want her to over think things. I want her to be confident that you are still high there for her. I am so glad that you both are so happy and her family coming was a good thing because she misses you, so when you can spend time together you both will be able to appreciate each other even more. This gave her time to see how much she cares about you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well debra thank you for everything you really did help me juat by talking but its not going to even happen with this girl ao.i will.not put anymore feelings into this cause it will only hurt me more. We talked about alot me and her and she said . Your problem is u expect.more out of this. And that i thought we were on same page. She said i dont know what future holds but i like ur company and hangingout and eating and texting and talking ur my friend. She said i dont want complications or ill juat leave i only want good things. I said ok and i will continue bwing her friend but i wont put anymore feelinga into this .
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Cause i was talking to my cousin and she said it sounds like your in the friend zone and i told her what me ans my cousin were talking about and thats when she said all that and ahe said. What can ur cousin predict the future. I cant have a relationahip without friendship. And if u wanna stop now tell me. I dont wanna lose you. I care about you aloooooot. From 1 to 10 i missed u a 8. I said im going to kiss n hug u on tuesday and take u out to eat cause i.missed u and she said shes looking forward . So this is going just friends or should i just stick it out. Im not use to going slow it scares me you know
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
II can tell you this, there is no such thing as a friend zone. People can be friends five years and end up getting married a year later. People fall in love it is a natural thing. She is giving you very positive sign, but you can't push her. She just wants to take things slow she is telling you let's be friends and see what develops in the future. Friends is the start of a relationship that could be the best relationship and worth the wait. Don't get discouraged over this. She is telling you to stay asking you if you are willing to be friends to see where this will go. You need to let her go at her own pace. She has strong feelings for you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I.hope so i really do.. i.will take it slow and i.just pray.for the best my prob is i over anallyze everyhing to the worst. She says shes not playing games and she doesn wanna lose.me but i.believe if we havent kissed yet shes never.gonna wanna cause.now.she.dont feel.attracted.to.me. i also.feel that if we start as friends she.will.not wanna.go.faether.cause shell.always see me as a feiend and then if she dinds.someone else it will.mess.our.friendship.up.cause.ill.becrushedhed.v
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She has said she is not playing games and she doesn't want to lose you. She is telling you how much you mean too her. She is afraid you will not give her the time to start a relationship. I don't feel she is never going to kiss you because she hasn't yet. She is just taking her time, she wants to get to know you and you know her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I i really hope so. She means so muh to.me
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I sent her a text telling her how i feel im.waiting back from her thia is what i said will this show her how i feel.will she understand

I sent her this cause shes been feeling differeny so im waiting back from her shes in class
Is this good qill she understand howi feel..

Your busy so dont message me back.. but i want u to know something. We are on same page i want to go slow so that we can learn everything about eachother so that we can fall in love together and last forever. I dont care how long it takes ur worthit and im never letting u go. Ill wait forever because once it happens its going to be amazing. I dont expect any
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
anything from you. I just know in.my heart that we work were right for eachother and to me i.know thia ia going to work i see how u look at me i.know u like me alot andi know u i know ur just scared to share your heart with me but im.going to show u im the guy dor you.. I dont need anyonw to tell me how i feel about u cause i know it. I am never going anywhere poop your my dream girl and i will fight for you.. sorry to bother you its just been bugging.me and i needed you to know that. I hope this helps i dont ever wanna force or rush cause then it will never work going slow is great it allows us to be ouraelves wthout the drama. I know i might make it aound weird sometimes but thats cause this is.new and womderful i just dont want to mess.it up.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
This is what she said..

I am done with class.... I just read what you wrote for me. Thank you for taking the time to express what you feel. Everything is fine with me ok.

I like you and there is no doubt if that.

What you think..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Your message was perfect and reassuring that you are here to stay no matter how long it takes. Her response was also right on point. She expressed what the message meant too her. She has no doubts about how she feels. You have a good start of a relationship going on here. Just don't over thinks things she is very positive about this relationship.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I was just curious feom.what she weote to.me.sounded.like well i appreciate what u wrote but i.dont feel.same but only time will tell.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We used to twzt like good night baby muhaa but.now she just writes like ok.bye.. is that a problem
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She also said she cant wait to get back to her routine i askes if i dit.in that routine. She said ur part of it dumb ass
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
And debra why is it that she can hide her feelings so.well but i am.falling for.her.so.soon .
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
People fall in love at different paces, but you can see someone in a new way in one day. Feelings can get stronger in one day just by doing one thing. You could say or do the right thing that makes you look at you in a new way. Her answer back on the message was positive. What you thought it meant is not what I feel it means. She is basically saying she feels the same way. Also she said you were part of her routine. Let me tell you what is happening rift now. You care about her so much that you are over analyzing what she is saying. I want you to look at what she is saying. I see everything she says that she wants you in her life. You want to just take your time and realize how much she cares about you. You are very special too her. Just enjoy this relationship and don't over thinks things. Be yourself.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Im trying its just hard im not used to going slow with someone i care so much about.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well i mean she has to like me atleast more then a friend a little bit we cuddle and kiss (not on lips yet) and she doesnt do that with anyone so i must be special i know i over analizye everything im just scared ill mess it up or shell just not like me no more she said that all the crap.me and my cousin were talking about woukd either make us stronger.or.weaker. i said deff stronger like this week apart did for us. She said yess just like that. She misses me and i know she likes me but i just have a problem with thinking the worst ..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I want you to think about the relationship in a new way. Why do you think she didn't want to label the relationship and she always says friends. She knows that once people start dating it changes. That friendship you both once had that is relax and fun, would change. Right now you are nervous that you are going to mess things up. You have to focus on when you first started. Think about what it was like. Right now you see the friendship progressing and your getting nervous, just take your time and enjoy these special times together. You do not want to pressure her. She already likes you and cares about you, misses you, you just need to see that this is working out. You are developing a relationship.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I know i over think things but i just dont want her to lose intrest and move on you know. I like this girl too much to.not even be able to be given a chance. But she has to feel something right if she said this week would be good for us. Because we didnt see each other all week. Friends dont say that.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
There are many things she is saying that friends do not say. It is like you are in a relationship with no title. She cares about you misses you, she has feelings for you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Remember how i told you about the points she gives me i think she takes her time giving them to me because when.i get 100 shes prob gonna kiss me and wants to make sure enough time has passed
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I think the point system is her way of feeling comfortable in her feelings. She can have you try to get to certain points and this way she can take her time and be comfortable about kissing you. It gives her a chance to take her time. To get to know you and score you. It is a great way for you to get to know what she likes. You get points on things you do, this gives you a good idea how she likes to be treated in a relationship. She is taking things slow and she just is preparing a special relationship with you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She came to work sick tonight so i bought her some soup in and aome meds i told her i wanna take care ofher
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is so nice and thoughtful. It always nice when you don't feel good and someone thinks of you. That was really thoughtful. She must have thought that was so sweet of you to do when she wasn't feeling good.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She said to me that she missed me soooo much and that something about me makes me look cute cute cute.. she said i look really good lol
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
How does it work . If a girl likes you and is getting to.know you do they also try to talj to someone else or just wait to.see about you
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
There attraction is for one person. You might talk to someone else, but when your feelings are strong for someone they are strong. Let me explain. You are always there for her so her feelings for you are strong, if someone else came along that she talked to, it doesn't mean she would date them. He feelings are with you. Once you have feelings for someone you focus on them not someone else.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I dont know debra anymore i cant read her anymore. She says she is having fun togethet and today she made a gesture to kiss her cause she had whip cream on her face i was going to but then.atopped . I tols her ahe said il glad u atopped frienda dont kiss. Ahe told ke today that that same guy who she used to like a year ago messsaged her in facebook asking her out. I told her well were just friends right so u can go.do what u want and ahe called me silly. Im atartung to think thqt she qill never come around and that im puttin all my feelings into something thats never goong to happen . They other day we were talkig and i said i consider u my girl.alrrady i.juay dont us the title and she said im very confident ahe likes that. Then today she said were just friends i said so twll ke you like me the same as you so your roomate who ia ur beat friend. Ahe said thats resicolous to ask that u know the answer to that u cant ask.me if i like u the same you know thw answer. Meaninng ahe likes me.more but then she said theres friends.and thwn.aometimes undefined friends. And she said i love you as a friend i asked from 1 to 100 1 meaning juat a fruend 100 kwaning love of ur life what number am i she said 100 i love u as a friend i said but 100 means u love me and ahe said love doesnt have numbers. I am ao.confused anymore ..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told.me.today that we ahouldbt plan hangout dates that she likes everything we do qhen qe do it. But today she said she needed to go food ahopping abd i went qith her and i went back to her place and helped her woth homework.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Some days she seems very into me says im sexy and she even said thee other day that only thingbwere missing is sex but that will happen when wee both are ready. Then other days she makes it clear were only friends. Today she said were friends i asked dont be against it if this goes somewhere she said i dint resist.im just not going crazy over it . Alot of people tell me even going slow that we shoukd have kissed atleast already and.the reason we didnt is cause shes not.attracted.to me. But she tells me she think im soo.good looking.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Then we talked about sex and i.told her that it wont hapoen because.i wanna be.in llove with that person first. Then she said o ok then.i guess we cant kiss either. I told her i dont want friends with benifits because i have to strong feelings for u. Then she said there are.no benifits or i diont remember seeing them haha. Then she said i wont have sex i cant . She.said in a relationship peole have to compromise and i.dont want anything to.change with us. I said only think that will change.is we.will eventuall kiss.and have sex i said the way we r now.is how.we.will.be thats.how.i.am i.wont.change.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
And she alao told.me.if i findsomeone else or wanna talk to.aomwone elae to go ahead. Its ok. I told her i dont even look at anyone else. Then when she told.me.about that guy asking her out i.said well.if were just friends then.if u want to talk to him i guess its ok like you told me then she said it is.ok u can like whoever u want. I said i want u and thats that. She sqid well then thats your choice.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I told her its been 4 months since i met u and one month sice we really atarted talking. Shr said nope ita been 5 months we been friends
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
What is happening right now is she is testing how you are going to react to what she is saying. She wants to start a relationship with you and she wanted you to kiss her when she had the whip cream on her face. She also mentioned other girls to see if you were interested in someone else. She wanted to see if you felt that it was ok to talk to other girls. Some other guy has asked her out and I feel you should have said your true feelings. You should have told her that it would bother you if she went out with someone else because you have such strong feelings for her. Tell her the truth do not say its ok if she goes out with someone else. That is not what you want, so you never say it because it sounds like you don't care if she dates someone else. You want to show her that you don't want anyone and you want her to know you have no intentions of dating someone else.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Its not like that debra if i would have kissed her she would have been mad and scared and i know she would have freaked out. And as for him i hate the fact but im.nothing but her friemd i have no right to tell her what she cant do. She is weird anymore, i cant tell.her i dont want her.going out with.him cause she will tell.me were just friends and that i have no right who she can talk to She.knows how i feel about everything and she says
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I see what you are saying because she says you are just friends so you can't tell her what to do, but as a friend you can voice your opinion. Friends can give advice for their friends. She might have been trying to see what you would say about this other guy asking her out. I feel like she wanted to tell you because she didn't want to hide anything from you and it was hinting that she was not going to go with him because she wants to take her time with you. You feel she would have freaked out if you both kissed that she would have had some regrets. Everything sh is saying is acting like you both are in a relationship and that she is telling you about the other guy because she is not going to date him. She called you silly because she wouldn't go out with him because of you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Debra, We went shopping yesterday for new clothes for me and her she picked out soem shirts she liked on me.. She told me that she didnt want our first kiss to be at a terrible moment she wants it to be romantic.. I said do you love me yet and she said yes.... I love Everyone.. I said u had to throw in everyone didnt you.. She put Yess.. She is hanging out with her friends but told me shes gonna sneak out early and see me. and that we will text the whole time.. we are now sending pics of body parts to each other over phones a new pic each day.. i am feeling really good about us now. What should i do now just keep being myself or keep some dostance to make her love me more..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We had a dinner date and then she tld me that the girls asked her to go out that day. And shes all upset so i told her go we will reschedule and she said shes sorry but she does wanna reschedule. And she said shes gonna text me. Ibsaid no they might get mad ur texting me while hanging with them. She said i dont care im a big girl they can he mad all they want. And she.told me not to worry about anything everything is all good between us
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She said she wants your first kiss together to be romantic and not terrible. She sounds like a very romantic person that would love something like to set up like a friends date that is romantic. Like a picnic somewhere she likes. She sounds like someone that likes romantic gestures. Do not back off, you are doing everything right. If you back off she will to. She really likes you, she is going to sneak away from friends text you the whole time. She is falling for you and that is why she wants to sneak away from friends and text. Keep doing what you are doing. She has said she loves you even though she threw in everyone that is ok, she admitted she loves you. She is very considerate of how you feel and you come first which is nice. If you both had a dinner date first then she would reschedule with her friends. She would just tell them, she already had plans.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No i asked her to dinner and she forgot they asked her first so i told her to go with her friends well reschedule . I said to her i know u care about me more and she said of course your my lil thing.. and she told me at the mall were gonna start hanging out.more soon.. i said i cant wait. She also said i know she is falling for me but she wont admit it.. she just tells me dont worry
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Everything she says is very positive and she was asked out before with friends and forgot. I like how you say those comments that you Sid I know you care about me more and she reacts with great answers. This is a start of an excellent relationship, keep being yourself because she is falling for you. She said don't worry about falling for you because she is. This is good that you are going to hang out more because you will be able to get to know each other even better. This is going to be a relationship that took time but has developed into an amazing relationship that will continue to progress.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes she forgot they asked her to hangout before i told her about the dinner. And i.said.i.cant wait to hangout.more. she said we hangout all the time wrre fine the way we are. I really.believe shes falling for.me. i just have to wait for.it. and i love it. We work together and no one knows that were even talking she doesnt tell anyone abiut us. She said.it is not.because im ashamed.of u because i.am not. I just dont want peole in my business. Shes a very private person and i like that about her. I am takng uer to a 5 star resturant and then a comedy show and shes super excited thats the day im going to initate our kiss. She said she wants me to make the move she just doesnt want it to.he a dennys.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I want to be as confident as possible she likes that im confident but inside it does bother me that shes gonna leave me.. how can i be more confident with her?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You always want to be yourself because that is what id attracting her too you. You are truly yourself and she is not trying to change you because she likes who you are. What a nice time you have planned a show and a 5 star restaurant that will be an amazing evening together. You are going to kiss her and that will be very special night that is going to change things, once you kiss her it will be the beginning of this relationship that took its time. The best things you both did was wait and get to know each other it grew the relationship very strong. Because you were patient she new that you would do anything for her and she was worth the wait for you. She knew what type of guy you were that was not going to break her heart. You built trust. I understand not telling people in work because she doesn't want people to interfere. She has a thing about her relationship getting messed up. She knows some times people can get in the middle ND she doesn't want to lose you because someone said something. She wants to keep her life private and just focus on you and her with no distractions.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told me she really likes me.but when she tried to open up to me i.joke around to much.. i do this because i get nervous. I just feel that im going to say something thats going to make her be kke im not interested anymore. Plus im smaller then her she says it doesnt.bother her but.i can tell it.does..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I don't think you be smaller than her is a problem with her. I think you might be self conscious of it that it might bother her. But if she says it doesn't, then it doesn't. When you start to get nervous and begin to think you are going to joke around try to stop and listen. You want her to be able to express herself and feel comfortable doing it. Its important that you listen to what she is trying to express because some times it takes a lot for someone to express themselves. Its ok to joke around to calm your nerves but also listen and explain that you joke around when you are nervous. Remember she likes you for you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I was joking with her and i said.. its so hard to make you love me but tyats ok cause i love a challenge. Then she said its not hard at all babe i just dont want to yet. i see her looking at tallrr guys and she told me along time ago that she wants a tall guy. Im just being paranoid because i cant read uer well and i dont wanna put everything into this and not get her and then be crushed..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Everything she says on all your questions and even your jokes she has very positive response to. Falling in love is worth the risk and I see that she is falling for you. When you joked around her response was that's not true babe. She called you babe like you are dating and said it wasn't hard to love you. That is very positive. Don't be afraid to love her because this is a good relationship that is going to be successful, just get all those doubts out of your mind and justs focus on loving her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Debra, we hungout today and we talked she said i have been alittle.mean latley and i told her that im.falling in love with her and that i dunno how to act around her anymore. I told her i dont wanna put everything into.this and get hurt. She said i wont break your heart ill protect you. Then i was joking about kissing her and she said you wont do it. So i said i will when our ready. She said i been ready .. so i kissed her then she wen uuuughhh. I said what she then kissed me back then she said this it was AMAZING bc it happened with YOU. That's what I wanted to feel.. I am glad I waited for our first face to face. Te quiero bebe.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This is great, you both shared your first kiss. It was so worth establishing this relationship, taking your time to understand each other. She said you kissing her was a amazing. Now she mentioned you were mean and it was good you explained why. You do not want her to always wonder what is wrong. If you explain how you feel and she is never guessing, she will be more comfortable. I feel that you both have open communication and understanding which is outstanding in a relationship to have these qualities. It is great for you and her to always discuss things together. She is now opening up too you. You are getting more comfortable in telling you what you want in this relationship. You both currently in a very successful relationship because she wanted to wait for you to get to know her. It is something that will keep this relationship together.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
When.i told her y i was acting weird i told her i.already consider.her.my.girl.abd she said ok then why u feel.that way.. i.know she dont love.me.yet but she will cause.now when.i.talk.abiut just being feuends she geta mad... So i think.were.doing.good.. and tomorrow i have a picnic all.set.up.for her abd she has no.idea
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You have a picnic set up for her, she is going to love that. That is such a romantic gesture and it shows that you took the time to think about her and having that theme to get to know her better. She is now getting mad over you saying just friends, so its official you are now dating and it was worth the wait. You showed her how much you cared, so she opens up too you and now you both have started a lasting relationship.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told.me today she loved my.lips. and that she likes.me alot aot alot.. ani said its onoy going to get better babe and she said who knows but i dont think about it. Then.i.said think about what. She said think about whats jext and if your gonna get hurt blah... Then.i said i underatand.i said keep your glasses on csuse.i.promise ull see the day im next to u saying i do.. she said wow thats deep. I said it is but im.presistant and confident and i work my ass off for what i want and your what i want. She said.i like that thats cute. Is it the same for ladies debra, to me i dont even wanna look at another woman. Do woken think the same like is she thinking she only likes me.or.does she think what it could be like with someone else too..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We were talking about her ex. She came to this country with.him.for.him. and were together for 10 years. She says hes always going.to.be in her life.i have to accept that she goes and sees him every weekend cause they talk and she has a dog there she picks up. She doesnt do anything other then.talk she said she.onlybexpressed.feelings for.me its just hes always going to be here. Should i be worried
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I wouldn't worry at all she has expressed how she feels for you. You don't want to focus on her ex, you want to focus on you and her only. The past is the past. She has made it clear that her ev will be in her life. She is not trying to hide anything from you. She wants you to accept that he is going to be in her life. Now you know how strong your feelings are for her and you see marriage in the future. You mentioned about not wanting any other women, this is because you are positive that you love her, no one compares too her. You always think about her like their is no one else in the room. You are confident in your feelings for her. She herself could be feeling the same way that you are the one for her and there is no one else. I think you are both very focused on each other and try not to mention the past too much. You want her to focus on you and this new relationship.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hey debra, we are both working on new jobs and if thats the case we wint see eachother as much. What is the best way to keep us going strong.if.we dont.see.eacch other anymore.at work.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
See.debra i dont know what to think everytime we.talk she says different things. We had a great weekend and she said she loves it. That she misses me.soo much and i said i dont give anyone this treatment just you. And she said yes someone could have this treatment any woman that u care about. I said yea thats true but i only show u this treatment csuse.no.one.else.exsist.to.me.and im.crazy about.you. she said i like when you say that ur crazy about me i said i am. Then she said thiss Life put u in my life (path) bc of a reason... And I treat u well bc that's how I am.. If you were another guy and I liked him or cared about I would treat him the same.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is saying that you would treat any woman like this if you cared about them. She is trying to find out if she is more special then the other woman you dated before. She is trying to see how much you care about her and if this treatment is the same with other girls before. She is also saying that she would treat another guy the same she cared about. She said this because she is trying to see what you are going to say and how is it different. I feel like people you date are all treated different. Some times you don't realize what love really is until you find it. I think every relationship is different because people all have certain types of personalities. Someone might like going out to eat, while others like to have a picnic in the park. So you need to tell her that she is the only one you would ever treat like this.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
See debra, shes weird.sometimes , she told me that i have no idea how muxh she cares and misses me i said tell me she said.not yet.. then she said your like my best friend i have so much fun with you... I said bestfriend ok.. then she said nevermind your no one special now hows that...
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is not ready to openly express herself just yet and she is also not ready to put a label on your relationship just yet. But she is dropping many hints how she feels about you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Her and her Ex broke up about ayear ago, he is still in her life and should i worry about being a rebound? i know it could be that but how do i knwo if its not..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I do not feel at all that you are a rebound, but it might be why she is being so cautious in wanting to take things slow. She knows things that caused her lasso break up and she doesn't want that to happen again. She wants to build a relationship with you that is strong and that will last. She wants to take her time falling in love with you. She is enjoying every second developing this relationship.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She is taller then me and she says it doesnt.bother her at all. That her ex was smaller.then.me. but she said today that she wishes i was taller but she likes how i am. If she likes how i am why would she want me to be taller. I know shed rather have someone twller shes 5'10 im 5'7
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is telling you she accepts you for who you are, but if she would rather you be taller. She loves the way you are and I don't feel it bothers her. I think she just loves you for the person you are.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I said your my GF so im happy.. And shes like im your Girlfriend since when lol.. She said no i will be the one who decides that.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That was flirting with you and she wants to be in control of the relationship. She wants to call all the shots. She needs to feel like she is in control of the relationship because that is how she feels comfortable. She needs to feel like she will decide when you are both in a relationship. It's ok because she is going to tell you soon she is your girlfriend.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I asked her does it bother her that i consider her my gf ahe said no as long as i have my feet on the ground
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
So she is pretty much saying you both are together but she is not ready to put a label on it. She wants you to keep chasing her. She likes to tell you she makes that decision so she can be flirting and keep you interested in her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
But this is bothering me.. its making me think shes not.interested and that i should stop .
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is not true what you are thinking. I see what she is doing. She is very interested in you. What is happening is you are in this relationship, so you can see things clear. If you cold step back and see what I see then you would know she is very interested in you. You have both come so far in this relationship and you need to continue to be yourself.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She knows how i feel and i knwo how she feels she tells me she really likes me alot.. but sometimes its just weird the way she talks.. Oneday its she really likes me thne another day she says the more i give you the less special you are to me. and that she has no fear about our strong Friendship..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is just confused about her feelings. It doesn't mean she doesn't Wat to be with you, she is still just scared.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She still hangs with her ex they see eachother every weekend cause she has a dog that lives there. An and she said all they do is talk or maybe sit and watch a movie.. this is her ex for 10 years. She i told her idont like that she still sees him and she said oh well hes in her life still and i have to accept it. That she came here for.him.from spain and he is all she has.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I think her ex has become more like family then an ex. She has relied on him to be there for her. But this is something she wants you to accept. I don't see this as a problem, she really cares about you. I don't want you to lose focus on you and her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Debra, whats makes a girl only have eyes for one guy. Like all i think about is her and she says she cantt get me out of her mind and that she doesnt want to. But i dont even look at anyone else and she said she notices that i.dont look at another girl and she likes that im all.abouy uer when were together. But what makes her only want me if i see her looking at other guys..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is very nice to hear that you are only focused on her and not interested in no one else. This is a very special type of love where your main focus is that one special person. She also has said she can not get you out of her head which means she is experiencing the same type of love. If she looks at other guys it doesn't mean she is interested in them. Some times girls look at men not cause they are attractive some times its just because someone walked by or into a room. You are often in tuned to your surroundings. This relationship is right on track it is very successful because you both took the time to fall in love with each other.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
we were talking and she said that i am soo amazing and that she likes that everytime we are together that im so into her and she wishes she could do more for me. I said just be you baby and im good, Then she said- All i want to say is that i appreciate you very much and i am being me The real me and sometimes im afraid you wont like her( ME).. I said dont ever be afraid i like you for you i want you to show me every side of you.Then she said All i need you to know is that i think about you 24/7 and that i mean well. Then i said Listen I have falling in love with you i know it makes you feel funny but its the truth and then i listed why i like her so much.. She said i dont feel that i let all the good in me out, Not cause i dont want to.. What does she mean here?

And second. I asked what you mean. She said all i mean is that i want to be good for you. Then she said Thank you for what you wrote.Its very sweet I wont feel funny if you dont feel funny.we arent kids we know what were doing. I am showing you little by little.

Then she said I feel comfortable with you believe me, you knwo how to treat me give me my space, you understand me and make me happy spoil me and make me feel special like no other.i said im glad we took our time cause this is turning into something amazing. She said Its just the begining..

But then she said were getting to knwo each other were not dating..i said i know and thats why i will let you decide when ur my girl. she said you talk like i hate you. I said no i know you love me but your just not ready to say it.. She said WOOOOO Look at you lol.. I said Im not blind i see things , its ok i dont ask or make you say anything but i know.. and she said I see things too..

But i dont knwo why i feel that she wont be here long and that someone else will come along..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
What she is doing is trying to be the best person she can for you and she feels she is not that person just yet. When she becomes that person that is good enough for you that is when she will be your girl. She wants to be that perfect girl for you. She feels you do so much for her and love her so much that she wants to give you her best in return. Not only is she working on your relationship, she is working on herself because use felt she needed to think about how she can be a better person in this relationship. She knows she loves you, she just wants to be the perfect girl for you because you are so special too her and she feels you deserve the best.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
yesterday we were talking and she was saying one thing and i was saying another and she told me shut up let me talk and i said im done talking to you.. She got pissed off and said she didnt like the way i spoke to her so i texted her all morning trying to say sorry but she ignored me never sent anything back this was at 8am she finally sent a message saying have a good sleep.. at 1pm.. i said hey she wrote back zzzzzz Muhhaaaxxx.. I dont want her to be mad and i dont wana mess up what we have over something stupid..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You said you were sorry, now I want you to not say sorry again. Move past this if you dwell on this and keep talking about it you will keep reliving it. You want to learn from this and never do it again. She will forgive you, she is just not use to seeing that from you. She doesn't want you to say you are done talking too her because she doesn't want that to happen. She was upset and she will realize it was just something you both can get past.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told me everything is fine werebfine, just think before ou talk down to me i went through that for 10 years. I said sorry baby i didnt.wanna hurt.you. she said i understand all.is good..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We were talking and she was telling me about how bad her ex was to her and how terrible itbwas. And then she said she dont wanna go through that ever again. I said i wont do that to u. She said i know im making you pay for his mistakes but even if i love u, ill get rid of u like that its not cause i.dont care i care about you i just wont go through that again. And ill tell u we.be friends.and talk and ull not want that. I shouldnt have to pay for his mistakes.. i mean she tells me not to make this bad or shell just move on hows that look to me. I been just as hurt before but i wont ever make her pay for it..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Ok, here is what happened. When you talked too her in that way she flashed back to a time where her ex gave her a hard time. Because her ex treated her badly if someone else says something negative it triggers her emotions. Its uncontrollable until she is able o heal emotionally. This explains why she has been taking her time with you. She might be nervous your going to change and turn into a negative person. So she has been testing you to see if you are the right one for her because she will never get involved with someone like that again. It makes her so nervous, enough to not get involved with someone. You want to reassure her that this will never happen again, you are nothing like her ex. You are a nice guy who loves her and she needs to know you would never hurt her and you think the world of her. I now see why she took things slow.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She said she cant.predict the.future but she really likes this.present she just needs to know all about me when.im mad.or.when.im.joking and she.wants me.to.know hers too. She said eere ginna have a million fights we just need to know eachother enough to know what to do about it.. i now feel that shes not gonna go anywhere and ill have my chance to show her.. so im going to just show her im better then anyone else.. she said if its not me it wont be anyone cause she hates dating
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
There are about 20 guys at work that ask her out and tell her.they wanna kiss her.. and she tells me evrything.. i told her dont think i dont know how lucky i am .. she said y i said.cause all the guys want you but.i have you.. she said your not lucky yet.. and smiled.. then she said thats cute and kissed me..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
IIt is good that she said that if its not you it wont be anyone. She is only interested in you and she knows how much time and patients that you had waiting for her. She knows you care that she can trust you are not going to leave because you waited. You mentions about guys asking her out and I like that she is honest and tells you because she wants you to know you are the only one for her. As this relationship progresses you will get to know each other so well, you will know when you both are kidding, when your being serious. As you both take the time to get to know each other, you will over time be able to read her facial expressions which tells a lot about a person.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told me that she was talking to this EMS guy from work he has been trying to talk to her for a while and she always ignores him but today she couldnt get away and he was saying that he likes her and he wants to kiss her and take her out.. and that he is a very nice guy. I told her its very intimidating that all these guys want you.. She said no dont be baby, I am only talking to you right now!, You are fun and you treat me nice and i dont feel like talking to anyone else..she said its just that they like me..its not important to me how many guys are after me its only important who loves me and who i love.. she said they dont know anything about me and she listed a bunch of things and i said i know all of those she said yes you do.. She said they just like the way i look and talk. She said I am giving us a chance to get to know each other, I dont give all of them that oppertunity.. i said i promise im different and ill love you and treat you great just sit back and enjoy the ride with me she said i am.. Then she said..Lets just hangout and spend time together so we can get to knwo eachother .. The Title comes after a while and thats maybe what i dont want..(Whats that mean Debra).. I said what you think when we become GF and BF somethign will change.. I said only thing that will change is ill have a gf and youll have a bf ill still be the amazing guy i am.. she said I like that, You finally got my point without me saying , we think alike.. What does she mean by that
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
It means that you don't have to put a label on your relationship because it will not change how she feels about you and how you feel about her. I really believe she feels that things will change in the fact that you will stop chasing her and trying to impress her. She likes what you're doing right now. She doest want to label this relationship and you get comfortable and stop impressing her. Right now you are still trying to win her over because she still says you are both getting to know each other. The other guys she is not interested in getting to know at all, she wants to spend her time getting to know you and she is very clear on telling you. Everything she says is very positive. She is very much enjoying this relationship with you. Do not worry about other guys, be confident that there is only one of you and no one will ever compare to you. She is telling you that you see beyond her beauty. You see her for her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She want me to.talk to her like i text her. I tell her how i feel and that i loved her in text but she said we will talk later.if u bring it up if not we will stay the same.. its not that its hard for.me.to talk i just am different im quiet how can i tell her how i.feel what if she dont wanna hear it..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You know what would be nice writing her a letter and reading it too her. That way you could express yourself on paper, know what you are going to say too her. It would be romantic.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We juat hung out.. i.was.saying i like u babe.. and she said i thought u were gping to say i love u .. i aaid i do.. thwn ahe said she got butterflies when.i said that.. and then i.said you like me she said more.. i.said not love and she said unknown how much i like u now.. is she falling for me and if.so.why qont she say it.. then.i said i wanna say it when u say it to me... She said if the love happens then.me too.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She is falling for you more and more each day. It sounds like she has been waiting for you to say you love her and she has been waiting to tell you how she feels. He feelings for you are growing. It really sounds like she just loves being in this relationship with you. She enjoys every moment. You are both the perfect match for each other because I feel like she has never met anyone like you and never knew someone like you could sexist. I think you sunrise her everyday with the things you say and do. She took her time because she wanted to see if it was real if you really care about her. She know sees that she can love you back because you waited for her to get comfortable, to sort out her feelings for you. She then discovered that opening up and letting her feelings comes to the surface was something she could do because she began to trust you. You showed her that you loved her for who she really is and that's all she has ever wanted.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told me yesterday that i dont have much expierence in getting a girl to love me.. so i made a joke today saying i was on google looking up ways to get a girl and she said were kissing and touching now im after you.. I said your chasing me she said yeah i am now.. Whats that mean? is that a good ting?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I just can't shake off all these guys wanting her her facebook is stacked with all these guys trying to get with her and she told me its nothing but im not used to it it is a bother to me how can i not worry so much.. We talk alot everyday and on saturdays i dont hear from her pretty much at all.. is that bad..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She feels she is now chasing you. That she is falling in love with you and she feel like she is trying to impress you. I wouldn't worry about other guys she is falling for you. You do not want to focus on other guys because you and her are the main focus. Its ok that you don't really here from her on Saturday. That might be just a day that she thinks about things, her time to take a break from things in life. You don't have anything to worry about. She is so in to you that she doesn't see anyone else.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We went out to eat and i started opening up to her i said listen i like u soo much ur everything to me and im sorry i been ignoring you and treating you the way i did. I said i realized it and i cant lose you i know if i would have kept going u would have said get lost.. She said I dont have to be with u i can have anyone but i choose you..and i said i dont have to be with you either and she said i know im lucky.. I told her please dont feel weird that i said i love you but my feelings have never bee stronger.. She said It doesnt bother me that someone so special feels that way for me.. She told me theres one thing in my personality that she loves that she never found in any other guys personality and thats that i only have eyes for her. She said the other day a very attractive woman came into work and everyone was staring and she looked at me and i didnt look once, i dont even know who shes talking about. She says she loves that im all about her and her only.. She hates when guys look at other woman and i dont want to i love looking at her.. Then we talked about us and how were good together and how i will never treat her bad again. The only reason i treated her bad is cause theres like 4 guys big time wanting her and she texts them because she was friends with them before me and the texts dont bother me what does is them trying to get with her all the time.. And every day a new guy from work becomes her friend on facebook and wants her. I know she said shes only into me but why, Any guy would be lucky to have her why me? Some of these guys are doctors. I know how lucky i am and i love that she choose me but what makes a woman pick a certain guy when other guys are out there..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I love when you say you only have eyes for her because she also feels the same way. One thing I do not want you to do is talk about the other guys that like her. This relationship is about you and her. You are getting jealous because you care and love her, but you don't ant it to consume you where it causes a problem in the relationship. You want to enjoy getting to know each other. This relationship is not about everyone else, its about you and her. I want you to block out all those other guys. This is not her faults that other guys find her attractive or want to be her friend. Do not take that out on her, take it as a compliment because she is in love with you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Here is a Transcript of texts me and her i want you to tell me whats going on..

Her : I think about your health and feelings..
Me: You dont think about us?
Her:I do...I do...
Her: Too Much but you know how i feel and im enjoying your friendship..I feel free.. I dont ever want to see you go..

Me:You think im going away?
Her:Because the way things are..Thats how i want them to be and thank you for accepting me for the way i am..
Me:Baby i accept you.
Her: No i dont think your gonna go anywhere but i know you arent going to stay this way for me forever..

Me: Your scare if we started dating things would change..
Her:I just want you to understand im not scared at all.. I am a woman i know how to be in a relationship.i only worry about you gettign tired of the friend thing and wanting more from me..
Her:I was teasing you on sat i wont chase anyone..

Me:I do wana be with you and have you as my girlfriend..Do you think we are moving to fast?

Her:No i feel we are fine...You are Awesome.
Her:You dont stress me out at all and you make me happy ....VERY...

Me:I love what we have but id be lying is i didnt say i want more i wana be with u and i see us together. I knwo your not into me as much as i am you..

Her: Nick im very into you, But its not my plans to have a formal relationship right now.. I wana focus on school work my goals, in the mean time having you along makes me happy i knwo i can have someone to talk to..I can trust you i deff love hanging out with you.Since u opend up i knwo youll change for the better.You are worth to give it a try.

Her: Being my friend is a huge step..You knwo i talk to people but there not my friends your part of my life now..
Me: Give what a try?

Her: I am giving it a try....A try my way....and thats why i say you arent going to be forever waiting. but at the same time im not worried about how you feel. You respect me and i see you would fight and give anything for me.

Me: You dont care about my feelings?
Her: No I dont worry i can see it you cant hide it..
Me:Im just askign for a chance baby
Her: Im already givign u a chance.and im still learning about you.
Me:I sometimes feel that someone else will come along and take you from me..

Her:Nobody is coming into ym heart i only loved one man..
Me:I know and im happy your letting me into your heart..

Her:No one will come now that i know you and you give me butterfies.
Her:I tell you everything so you knwo what your doing. I am not playing with you.. i dont want to ever be blamed for that..I tell you who i talk to..Its up to you if you leave..

Me:I wana be with you forever baby ill never give up.
Her:Forever hahaha
Me:It takes time and i have plenty of time baby I love you and wana be with you you'll come around..
Her:Thats right...! And i am around nick

Me:Lets just live and let time progress baby..
Me:Just dont fight it baby if the day comes and you want to be my girl or have a relationship with me then tell me..

Her:Sounds like a plan..
Her:Nick.HAHAHa We are but we arent..
So dont say that. I am not fighitng anything..

Her: Theres this guy in radiology department thats flirting with me..
Me: whats he saying
Her:Check my Facebook hes commenting how beautiful i am thats all..hes just an admireer i had alot of them always..

Her: Are you jealous cause i dont use them to make you jealous..
Me: Yea i do get jealous is that bad i knwo theres nothing i can do that guys will always like u ..
Her: I agreeNothing you can do but what matters is what i want and feel and your my favorite Person :)
Her: and that your not going to be mean to me again even better..
They only liek me its nothing wrong with it..

This is not a competition i dont go let me talk to him see if hes better..im intersted in you. Please dont be insecure baby no need to be..

Me:I knwo baby ill change that i wont be anymore i promise..
Her: Good.

Me: I left u a voicemail babe,
Her I heard it it was very sweet thank you..
I am not as sweet as you are.. your like candy :)

Me:Why not because you dont feel for me liek i do for you yet. Your still trying to see if im good enough..

Her:No No thats how i am it takes a bit of time..
Me: Not with me baby u can be sweet to me always..

Her:Its not that your deff good babe..I just dont know what it is to be with someone else but that doesnt mean i dont liek you deeply..

Me: I understand baby but you have to jump in feet first to see how things will go, Dont be scared to findout i will never hurt you or treat you bad or put you down..Your everything to me your always going to be my number one ill never get tired of being with u when im inn love it all about that person..im trying to show you.. I know you say your not scared but i can tell you are your soo used to being with him that you dont knwo how to love anyone else.. its a scary feeling i know ..im trying to show u lil by lil baby..

Me: I understand baby but you never knwo what could be unless you go right after it.Your the first woman i ever felt this for since my ex.You dont want a relation ship i see but i see differently i see us together loving one another u and me happy..


What does she mean am i just going after somethign i wont ever get?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I just dont feel that its going good anymore ...i dunno why she seems different cinse that conversation.. she told me not to break my hear about it all is good.. but i asked her to lets hangout more she said maybe.. i asked her to hangout fro and go to mall she ignored it.. I dunno debra what should i do?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
One thing I do notice is here bringing up other guys that are interested in her so this shows me that she wants you to know that other people are interested. I feel that she wants to see how you react and she also wants you to know that she could be with someone else but she is spending her time with you. I think what is happening is she does not want to get into a relationship where she feels it will not be forever. She thinks you will get bored and tired of chasing her. But I think she also feels you wills know longer chase her if she says yes to a relationship. She wants things to stay the same. She has a pout because she people are in relationship things do change because you have more say. You would be able to say you don't want all these guys on her facebook flirting with her. You might become more upset by theses guys. Relationships do change when you are friends and then start a romantic relationship. She is taking her time still with you and not jumping into anything she can not handle. This is a time in her life where she is achieve goals and she feels she is in a good place right now.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
So do i just let her be or.keep going after her
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I want this girl but i dont want to waste my time chasing someone that ill never get.. what should i do Debra
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told me shes not interested in anyof them and that she doesnt have to be with me and i dont have to be with her but we choose eachother.. She told me everything is good dont worry but i cant tell anymore she says different things
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
im not asking to be her BF tomorrow i knwo it takes time its only been 4 months but the way she taks is like ill never have a chance.. i dunno
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We talked and i told her i still wana be with her and she makes me happy she said you need to feel happy with you.. I wana continue she kissed me today and said she misses me..how long will she make me chase her its not fair..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I do really feel like she does want you to chase her because you show her lots of attention. She feels if she says yes to the relationship the chase is over and you will just get comfortable like you won. This does happen often. You chase someone for so long then once they agree to a relationship youthink you can sit back from trying to impress the one you love, but relationships are constant, you have to keep the one you love, you have to impress them always. You don't want things to get routine or lack that challenge. You need to tell her things will never change that you will continue to impress her and that you wot let your emotions get the best of you, that you will be understanding and always listen. You should ask her if there is a future down the road with you and her. Not making this commitment gives you that chance to meet and dad someone else. Its risky. She knows you are so into her that she doesn't have to worry about you leaving or dating anyone else. She knows she can take her time with you because you are not going anywhere. But what she doesn't realize is if she keeps telling you that you are only friends, you might get discouraged and back off all together. Which I see you questioning if you want to keep chasing her. You want to know that all this time that you put in is going to have a good end result.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I talked to her today and this is where we are..

 

I said i need to know if im chasing something ill never get.. She said Maybe, I dont have a Crystal ball i wish i knew. She said i really like how we are right now i dont want a formal Relationship right now. I said but it feels like your already writing me off and just not giving me a chance. She said NO i really like you i dont want to just jump into somethin just to do it. I said if something does happen dont push me away accept it she said ill never push you away.. She said im not tlaking to any other guy you have everything i want so i dont feel i need to talk to anyone..

 

I told her i said i will never hurt you liek he did im a good guy ... She said thats what they all say. I said ill prove it to you.. I only wana make you happy.

 

 

I said Its only been a few months but i do see us growing an amazing relation ship i said im not just asking you to be MY gf tomorrow but the fact that it seems like your not even going to give me a try and just push me away because u dont want a BF i said The only thing that will change once we start dating is the title and sex.. i will never change the way i am because thats how i am i wont treat you different. a relationship is just a formal way of being together i said were already together in my eyes i dont see the difference..

 

She said I like when you say that but dont say it (meaning were together)lol.. She said im not pusing anyone away.. I care for you soo much and a formal relationship right now is not what i want i want someone i can have fun with and kiss and hangout with with no problems and see where things go. A formal relationship takes alot of time and effort and with my school and work im not ready for that. She said i wana know you so this doesnt need to be so comlicated.

 

She said how can you think im just writing you off and not giving you a try after what happend friday.. We touched for the first time.. She said i dont do this with anyone but you. Your my best friend.

 

I said I see this becoming something amazing i really do , I dont knwo what the future holds babe but if we keep going the way were going Nothings stopping us. We have fun and laugh and kiss and love eachothers company if thats not a relationship what it..

 

We will still hangout and do what were doing only difference we will have the title and sex would be involved..

 

She said Well... I agree with you..

 

Please dont over think. she said. Lets just do what were doing and see how this goes i dunno what the future holds but i really like this present..

 

I feel good now about us i do. She cant give me a straight answer but if i just keep being the man i am and treating her the way i do she will eventually realize she wants me..

 

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Everything she said is very positive and you should feel good about everything she has said. She WATS to know you so that this relationship will work in the future. She is midst likely not ready to make that commitment when it comes to being intimate with you.that could be one of the main reason why she will not commit. She doesn't want sex to get in the way do the relationship. She wans to get to know you and not complicate things. She wants to feel comfortable with you and really know you first.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I can tell she really likes me Deeply i can tell, im not trying to make this happen tomorrow ill wait as long as she wants but i was just worried she didnt even wana give me a try but she does... and in 4 months shes been falling for me i think.. It wont be much longer if i keep just being me and treating her amazing like i am.. Right?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Yes you are right, keep treating her like you are right now and I feel you both will develop this relationship further. She is falling for you because she is not interested in other guys, she is focus on you. Its awesome that she is open and honest about her feelings, you don't have to ever guess how she feels about you or where this relationship is going.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well neither of us know where this will go but if we give.it all now it will pay off.. i told her listen i really do see us together down the line she said good dont think bad things..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I am still kinda worried about the future because i told her my feelings for you are stonger and she said ok you believe what you want.. I dont see how she can get rid of me if everythings going amazing..im just going to keep doing what im doing and hopefully she will realize..

All the guys that hit on her or write her messages she shows me and tells me.. Im not worried about a guy she made me feel comfoprtable with how she told me.. I just feel that i dont wana put in all this work and not get the girl in the end..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I really like that she tells you and shows you all the guys that message her because she is someone that isn't hiding anything. She doesnt want to ruin what she has with you so instead of you fidning out about the messages, she tells you. This should ease your mind that she is fully focused on you and how you think and your feelings. It is comforting to know that you can relax when it comes to other guys trying to date her. She is not interested in no one else but you and she is making that clear by telling you. This will be a great relationship that will continue to grow. Right now you are more than just friends and she is very open with you which is awesome.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hi Debra, Everythign is going good so far. But id like some feedback on soemthing. Me and her decided to play a little game where were not going to text or talk or anything from today till tuesday we want to see how we feel but not doing that.. Is this something good or no? I know shes going to miss me like crazy..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I feel that in order to keep a connections with each other you need to keep in contact. You both want to be there for each other and not talking for that many days this could go too different ways. You both could miss each other, but it could also be something where she just decided to focus on herself. You both have been doing good and connecting very well. The whole issue was she wants to get to know you, not talking is not getting to know each other. I would text and tell her you lost the game, you miss her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I texted her i lost the game.i.miss you.. then when.i got to work.she gave me.a big hug and kiss and.said hi.loser... I said what i.missed u ... she said i.missed you soo bad.i thought about you so much.. i said o really then.we.gonna do.it again next week and.i.wont loose this.time haha
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That work out perfect, you texting her was you showing you care about her, missed her. It made her feel good to know you know you could live without her that she is so important too you. This was awesome to do. She gave you a hug and a kiss so she knows how much she needs you in her life.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She said she missed me sooo much And that it was never about a game who wins or loses she said she wishes she was the loser cause she missed me like crazy that i just didnt giv her the chance to text me first.. She says she Adores me alot.. Whats that mean.. She says I adore you so much..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Adore you is like saying she thinks you are the best and she loves and cares about you. Its almost like saying your an amazing person who I just love so much. It was awesome you texted her first it shows her how much you love her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
this is what she said..

its not about who WON the game really, Its about our feelings, To see what we feel... I really would have loved to be the loser. Even tho i missed you i dont know ho long i would have gone without talking or texting you cause you texted first..

So when she says I adore and need you thats good things>

then she said to me i need you.. I said ill be here as long as you want me whatever happens or dont happen between us ill always be your friend..

She said Your my lil teddybear :) i dont think about that
You are my ALL!

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Wow, she said some nice things in that message. Saying she needs you is major. She really needs you in her life. Very positive message and adoring you is a very good thing.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We were talking on skype yesterday and she played this song called complicated and said thats for me. She said she don't want a formal relationship right now but she's starting to like me so much more. she said she wants to get more serious with me but she don't want to. I told her I'm not going anywhere and I'll wait till she's ready.. She said she is ready she just don't want to yet. Then she said what if you find someone else that can give u everything now.. I said I don't want anyone else I want you I'll wait forever cause your worth it.. Then I said u mit not want anything now with me but will you.. She said yes I can see it..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She knows she is falling for you more and more and she doesn't want to because she is protecting herself. She doesn't want things to get complicated between you both. She likes how thing's are. She doesn't want things to change.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Should i respect her and stop trying or keep going
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Do exactly what you are doing because what you are doing is working 100 percent. I feel it is because you are being yourself, you are open to loving her fully. She is taking her time getting use to the idea of how much she cares and loves you. She never wants this part of your relationship to end. she is enjoying the feelings she is having for you. I think she feels like the luckiest girl in the world because she found you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hello debra, Well everything has been going very well we hungout last night and she said soem things that got me thinking and needed to clarify up ..We went out to eat and she put on the check for out waiter, Your very cute, KEY. She said she was joking but it did bother me alittle. Then we were talking all night and she was telling me that her brother in spain was asking how shes doign and she told him all about me and he said make sure you can trust him. I said you can trust me babe i trust yuou.. She said Nick i can lie to you so easy theres aot of men that want me i could always lie to you how could u trust me.. then i said i know u are prob out with all them and then come to me.. She said even tho im always with u and texting you.. Then she said you never know nick someone better could come along and make me happier. She said im not looking for anyone but it could just happen alot of guys want me. i said no ones better then me she said youll prob be like oh key i really thought i liked u but this girl makes me more happier.. I said no i dont think about anyone else but you. she told me i like u more then you know and i know im hard to get. she said but your all i think about and i miss u like crazy. I was texting my brother at work lastnight and she didnt know. I told her i said babe u can trust me you knwo and she asked who were you texting and i told her so i know shes curious. Should i be worried?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I want you to never mention other guys. Your focus needs to be her and nothing else. I don't want you to worry about other guys, because you need to realize you are special and unique and no one can compare too you. You need to think so positive that you need to see that anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. There are always going to be other guys that want to date her but she wants to be with you. The reason why she has these guys chasing her is because she said it best, XXXXX XXXXX hard to get. People always want what they can not have. If she mentions other guys which she could be trying to get you jealous or let you know she can anyone but she chose you. I don't think other guys should be talked about because you do not do that too her, so next time she mentions other guys, don't even respond. Act like it doesn't bother you. You need to be confident that you can never be replaced you are an amazing person that any girl would be lucky to be in a relationship with.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
But should i be worried about her saying that someone better could.come along for either of us.. or even.writing that the waiter was cute.. she said she was kidding..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I dont ever bring up guys i told her i dont worry about guys because i know how she feels for me and i told her anyone would be lucky to be with me and she ssai she knows.. But she made a list of how much she loves people and im a 6, a 6-7 is someone she things about all the time someone very special and cant get enough of. 8-9 is boyfriend and 10 is love and one and only.. she said she does see this going somewhere but she dont want to yet because of school or everything but i know shes falling for me i just hate when she says stupid things like us not being together or smeone elses taking her awya..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She wrote the waiter was cute to make you jealous. If you did that to a waitress she would have been wicked upset because she doesn't even want you noticing other girls and she watches for that. She really has nothing to worry abut because she knows you are so into her. I wouldn't worry I feel she is testing you on what you are going to say. She wants you to say there will never be anyone else. How you should have answered that was with a little wit. You should have said you probably should scoop me up now before someone else doe and laughed after. She would never expect you to say that because what she wants to hear is there will never be anyone else, you are all I need.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I do tell her that and she told me she loves one thing about ke that no othrr guy has that i dont even look at anyone else that im all about her.. she told me that she needs time to let her heart see how amazing i am.causr her eyes and mind already know.. but when she talks about oother guys iy bothrres me but i dont let her see iy
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She. Is still taking her time letting her heart trying to love you in the way she wants it to. She is attracted to the fact that you are so focused on her. I am sure that is very different about you because a lot of guys are not like that and I feel she has never met anyone like you. I feel she is fascinated by you in a sense because you are so different. Now you need to just relax about other guys wanting to have a relationship with her. Its ok because she is only interested in you. Keep being yourself you are doing great in winning her heart.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I dont ever talk about any guys or.bring them up but it.bothers me when she.tells me how much they like her and why did she write that the waiterr was cute it.bothereed me she said she was kidding but.i.mean i dont.oook or say any womens beautiful.or.anything why does she that hurts my feelings like shes not.intrested.in.me
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You need to explain too her that you would have never said to a waitress that she was cute out of respect for her feelings. Let her knows that her doing that was upsetting. She needs to think of your feelings as well. This is something that is bothering you and you need to be honest with her. Things like that can make you back off because you don't want to get your feelings hurt, you need to explain that too her. She is never going to know that it bothered you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
we went to the gym and shes teaching me spanish and we joke and call eachother names like poop and smelly and she always says Te odio which is i hate u and i say jomas which is me more.. well i said UGGGH i hate u cause she was being a smart ass and she said .. I love you..., Then i said WHAT DID U SAY? she said nothing forget it.. i said you said you love me she said yes like a friend and her best friend is a guy namd carlos and i said oh u love me like you love carlos? she said nooo i love you different then shes like i didnt mean ti forget it...
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i know she was prob kidding but that does show some feelings doesnt it?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I always find that when someone says I love you when they are caught off guard is their true feelings because it is automatic how they feel without thinking about it. She knows how she feels about you but I don't think she wants you to know how much she truly loves you just yet, but her saying I love you is how she feels. You both have a very good relationship. It is a very special one and I feel that you both will be in a relationship very soon
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She uses that song by Carolyn Dawn called Complicated and she says thats how she feels for me. but i have no idea what it means..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

ME:
hey babe, I want to write it here cause my phone sucks and you can't really understand what im saying..

I know its long so bare with me please!

Your the most amazing person i know, nothing makes me happier then when i can see you or talk to you. I always want to make sure your ok and do everything possible for you. I know it hasn't been long for us but when love hits it hits. I accept everything you are i love everything about you and who says its a bad thing to have someone who cares so deeply? I don't care your an escort because your going to school your making something out of yourself. I'm not after your little bit of money you have because eventually we will have enough for whatever we want. This thing we have going is amazing and i never wanna lose it. I try to show you everyday what you mean to me but i know that i have to tell you to so your not always thinking what does he feel. I like that your controlling it makes me realize that your only out to make me happy and better our lives. I can't cook either but well learn together. I do say i love you and i knwo your not ready to hear it but i do. Your the most important person in my life and i don't ever want to lose you. i am not trying to force something to happen, but i honestly 100% feel that there is something here. I see how we are with each other. I have seen alot of couples and not many of them are the way we are together. Yes were not officially together but what does a Boyfriend and Girlfriend do that we don't do? we technically are dating , your just scared that once we get more serious that things will change and everything wont be the same your not ready for that. Nothing is going to change, you will just be adding a title to what is already there.


Im not a child i know what i want in life and i go for it. I want to make money and run a company im going for it. I want to have my own home someday im going for it. I want you and to have a family with you one day and i am going for it. I know you hate when i say that if it happens it does if not nothing i can do about it. I know that's not something you think about and thats fine but i just need you to know that if nothing ever comes out of this its because you found someone better and love him.. Im not going anywhere i wont even give anyone a chance to get to know me cause i fell for you and i broke my legs i cant walk with anyone else to get to know them..

I guess what im trying to say is i Love you very much and i only want to make you happy, and i do think about us being together but in time that's not something that can happen over night it takes tremendous work.

Baby im sorry if i sound weird or make you feel weird im not trying to i just want you to know that i think about us and whats going to happen between us.

Muaaaaxxxx forever my love..

your Nikko

HER:
Look how far we come in 6 months? its only going to get better with time! and i hope we can share it together..


You are not weird at all.. And I don't feel that way either. I am very tired right now but I really would like to respond your mail and take my time to exchange some words with you as well.

Time for me to sleep... I am thinking about everything you said.... You actually can be very explicit and I really like that. I like smart guys... You seem to be that way. Lol. That is true tho.

Talk to you tonight. Te adoro.

what does she mean?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I am also going to look at the song to see what I feel it means but your message. Too her was you putting your emotions and your heart out there. It shows her how serious you are about her and how much you want her. Part of your life. It sounds like she loved the message and really wants to think about what she is going to say too you. You can tell she wants to take her time answering you. She wants to go to sleepy and wake up with a clear mind to express how she feels about you as well.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes, please listen to it and tell me what it means.. But I don't know Debra I think I blew it.. She's not texting me as much and she is making excuses to hangout now..it's ok tho because I told her how I felt and if she didn't like it at least I wqsmhonest andopen..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She texted me today that she got the new job she was workign on i told her congrats and goodluck but i wont see her as much now cause she will work every other weekend. can people still make it work if they dont see eachother as much?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She might have not been texting as much because she was thinking about getting the new job. She knew she had to tell you she wasn't going to be able to see you as much and I bet it bothered her. Yes, people have ode long distance relationships work. Its ok if you don't see each other as much it gives her time to appreciate the time you both do get to spend together it makes it even more special. Telling her how you felt might not have anything to do with her texting less. She might feel pressures now that she has to tell you how she feels. She told you about her job which is a great sign because that means she goes to you when she has good news about something. She is sharing her life with you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I dunno she told me today her lips were Burt from the cold. I said I'll kiss them better tonight. She said u don't have to kiss me all the time. Then I said when will I see you she said tonight at work I said no outside of work she said I dunno I don't plan them. And I said wow u don't wXXXXX XXXXXgout or kiss anymore ok. Then she said whatever I'm not arguing with goyim in a bad mood today. She said it's not gonna be that long till we hangout .. But she's acting weird and when I ask she says nothing.. I feel I blew it
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I don't feel you blew it I think she is just having one of those days. She has a lot going on at the moment and she doesn't want you to think because she doesn't want you to kiss her all the time that she doesn't want to do it anymore. She is probably embarrassed that her lips are like that and she doesn't want you to kiss her because she feels it wont be good because they hurt right now.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I dunno she said we argue alot and we never have anything to talk about anymore. I told her.i wanna.see her she said u will tonight at work i said no i wanna see u hangout i.asked are.youbgoing to make me wait long to.cu.. she said not too long
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Ok, I want you to stop pressuring her to see you. You want her to make the time because she really wants to see you. I don't want you both arguing and it causing a problem because the relationship is changing this is what you don't want. It needs to stay relaxed like it was before. This is why she didn't want to date because she knew things would change.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
It's not bad she told me she's here for the goods and the bad. But it's me if I'm not with her I feel she's losing interest. It's hard for me to just let things go when all I wanna do is be with her and she means so much to me and I have no idea what I mean to her or if I mean anything..she says she loves me very much and she needs time to let her heart see how amazing I am cause her eyes and mind already do.. But then she says don't have to kiss so much and she don't wanna plan when we start dating or she talks different on different days.. I just feel that once this new job comes and she's working weekends I won't have anytime to see her and shell move way fro. Me.. I told her yesterday only way this ends is if u find someone else and love him she said shatter me why... Your awesome I adore you babe.. I just dunno I love her so much it hurts me when I don't know if she feels at least something or even if she likes me anymore..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Relationships have times were they are intense and loving and other times where they feel like things changed because maybe one has something on their mind. Its not always going to feel like things are new, you are getting to know each other and things are not changing in how she feels. That is you thinking that I think she is thinking about work. She also might be someone that needs time too herself, so if she explains herself a little more I think you would feel better about things. You need to relax and enjoy the relationship and where it is headed because you will begin to think things and have a problem. You need to let her chase you a little.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She wont chase a man she says.. She said she will never chase a man. i really know she feels deeply for me but sometimes it just seem like thats different and i dont wana keep asking cause its going to bother her to talk about it all the time..im just going to keep doing what im doing and hopefully i can get the girl that i want/./
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
she came over yesterday i was sick she came and brought me soup and made me all types of food/.. I know she cares its just soemtimes she makes it seem like shes not interested like we dont have to kiss all the time and dont plan on hanging out.. what is that?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She brought you soup and cooked all kinds of things she. You were sick, that. Is someone that cares. You need to stop questioning everything, you just need to enjoy the time you spend together. You also can't but the relationship in front of you. When she start working weekends you can't predict what will happen, so you just need to take things as they come. She is trying to say about kissing is just spending time with her is good enough for her. So don't worry and keep being yourself.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i know i do but its just hard i never felt this way about anyone and i over think everything.. I wanted to do soemthign nice for her so im haivng a dozen roses and a box of chocolates sent to her place without her knowing.. here is what i wrote on the card. What you think do women really like getting roses out of no where?

Baby, I hate to see you sad or feeling blue.
You mean more to me then you'll ever know.
I know i can be a pain in the butt a lot and
I'm sorry, But its just this is all new to
me and exciting you make my heart beat
faster evertime i see you or kiss you..
Please don't ever give up on us because i
never will! Te quiero Mucho
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
From everything you read and i told you do you honestly see me being her boyfriend someday? or do you think im chasing somethign ill never get?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is so romantic, wow. She is going to love that. That was every thoughtful. I do see you both together but she still is taking her time with the relationship. But she will love the flowers and candy.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Did u listen to that song so you can tell me what she feels .. complicated by carolyn dawn
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well Debra she usually texts me when she wakes up for work and she didn't and when she doesn't it's cause she's mad or in a bad mood. So I played it cool I didn't write her or anything so then around 11pm she wrote me hi are yo awake.. I said yes she said why didn't you text me. I said cause I know when u don't text to tell me ur awake ur mad or in a bad mood. She said listen.. I'm not mad at you I apologize if I said anything bad to u I'm just upset with my roomate and I kinda hate the fact that I'm getting attached to seeing you and you in general I miss youuuuu. Then she said she's mad I didn't come to work she wants to see me..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I just want you to look at this for a moment you didn't text her this morning because she didn't text you. I want you to really look at the things she said too you. You mentioned you said she would never chase a man. She just poured her heart out because you didn't text one time. She really care about you and her feelings for you are growing more and more. I knew her being in a bad mood had nothing to do with you it was her roommate. You should be very confident about how she feels about you because she really just said some honest things and they were very nice.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We were talking she said she always wants to be with me and that she wants to workout at the gym every day with me and theres a beef and beer this weekend and the guy that works at hospital asked her to be his date and she told him no shes not going. i told her i would go with her if she wanted to she said no then she was supposed to hangout with her roomate fri but she dont want to she wants to hang with me.. I told her ill take her to the gym cause im a member and im allowed to bring her all the time she said she dotn wana depend on me i said you can babe its ok she said i know i can but i dont want to but thank you.. she asked if i have plans on fri i told her no even if i did id cancel for you she said i knwo you would Muax... She told me to stop thinking im always the blame for her being mad cause im not i never do anythign to make her mad..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This is going excellent right now. Just that one time not texting and I feel she got very nervous and how is rushing to make plans.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
The other guys thing is somethign that still gets me i dont knwo why but i feel she will find someone else and love him more.. i cant shake that feeling
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You can not think about what if this happens. What if she meets someone else, you have to understand there is no one else for her but you. You should be confident that you are an amazing person that can't be replaced. Don't let your mind be worried and focus on you and her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i know its just hard for me my ex of 7 years did it to me so its soemthign i always have on my mind.. and it doesnt help that she talks and is very friendly with alot of guys at work.. and they all tell her they want her and love her and all.. i know shes with me and not them but it still is something hard to shake off.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This is why you are having problems dealing with this because of your past but you need to realize this is a new relationship and she should not be in this position of you thinking she might donthe same thing. You need to trust her and know that she is not going to do the same thing.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
This is what she wrote me, is this positive or what she likes to say friends a lot still..Well mr. Duck.. Every time I try to write you something, words won't come out right. I guess it will come in time. All I feel is good... Very good though. So no worries. You are getting real good at expressing yourself. I have to learn from you. See!!! There are a lot of things that I can actually learn from you. I like that. Eg: being a smart ass, ignorant, rude and boring. You know, all those fun things. Hahahahaha... No no... Just being more sensitive for all the beautiful things life brings, for paying attention to the little things... Or smiling more... All those things I can learn from you every time I see you. Etc... There is much more. You are just wonderful, unique and real. I really enjoy this friendship we have. I never feel alone. I always have somebody that I can talk to, about anything, even though some times it's a lil hard but you get serious eventually. Like today. I promise that I wasn't mad, I was serious. You will know when I get mad. I won't talk to you or try to smile. I am fine and I hope you are too. I understood the point of your brother, he just wants the best for his favorite brother and there is nothing wrong with that. I am actually very happy you have such a good brother. He has a huge heart. I know he is a good husband, brother, friend and person in general. It is ok we can all be friends. well... It's already 5:05 am. I am trying to stay awake. My eyes are closing big time. The married man just came in here again and sat next to me. He said he was going to take me out. Gigi said, awww key that is nice. The point is that I don't like him and that he has a ring on his finger. Nice detail. Ha ha and ha.Well poker face, i will see you soon... In the hallway or... Maybe in pe at 7:30. Have a good rest of the morning.Yo tambien te quiero mucho kid. ByeKey.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Then I said this

Im not worried about any man i know you love me you told me twice even if it was only joking.. i know! Your friendship.is amazing and one day i just hope when.it expands to a beautiful.relationship that i see happening you let.it happen and not get scared.. baby i sometimes say dumb things and i know.i can be a pain in the ass but i mean very well.. all i think about is us, how i can improve us how i.can make us happier. Your the girl i want in my life forever. I know you need.time to show your heart that im.special and im here ready. I know you dont want a relationship with me right now, but i know you think about.it sometimes. Just dont push the idea away for.good because.its not something you want now.. ill do anything for you. I only wanna make.you happy and have a great life but id be lying.if i said i dont.wanna be.on the opposite side.of your life.. you know how.i feel i cant get any more open lol im not worried about anything because you show me love weather you say it.or.not to.me i.can tell you try to show it.. im never leaving your something amazing i wanna share my life with and.ill.never let.you go.. well i dont.wanna ramble.on lol but.. i love you very much. And i never want.to lose.you.. muaaaxx shithead..


Then she replied with Awwwwww
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Her message was very positive and what you wrote back was perfect. You expressed your self and she expressed herself. You have nothing to worry about I feel she is just worried that she will lose you and that is why she hesitates on getting in a relationship with you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We talked and she told me she is not in a possition to have something where she give rights and.demands . But that dont mean shell never want it. I said you could come to.me 3 months down and say i wanna be with you.. she said right!
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That was an excellent response and very true. She could say too you that she wants to start a relationship with you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Hey Debra, have you listen to that song I asked a few people and they don't want to tell me what it means.. Me and her talked and she said some things but she hates that I think about us not busing together one day, she said me being her friend or not won't change the fact that she don't want to commit to a relationship right now. She says she's just not ready for rights and demandings what does that mean? she told me she loves the ace that all these guys it on her that what woman doesn't, but I have to realize she don't like or won't talk to any of them like she does with me. She always says she adores me adore is a good thing? I feel this is good I started a new game with her and she loves it.. She has numbers 1-10 10 meaning deep love and each number has a perfect meaning. So I created a countdown of numbers and at her own pace when she's ready she takes a number off the list and I'll move up from a 6 I am now to a 10 it's a great idea because she's in control and only when he's ready will i reach the other numbers. Things look to be going well. I told her that I want more eventually and that if she ever just saw me like she sees her othermfriends where I can't hue with her or kiss her I would be devistated she said stop that's silly.. She said I don't know why you think aout that stuff I just let things flow..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I told her my bro wants to get to know her better so he can see how she feels for me. He's very close to me and worrys about me. She said that's why she's not in a relationship she hates that people Want to judge her or ask her questions about me and her I said he's not going to judge you she said you know my feelings I don't have to show or prove them to anyone.. Is that a bad thing
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
We haven't talked really this week our communication was bad because she's been fighting with her room ate and I been sick. But this is what she wrote to me. What do you think.

I just read what you wrote on my phone. The chapter 2 of the book. I am laying down right now.. Very hungry.. I am not going to eat. I ate too much last night and Terry told me if I keep eating like that I am going to get fat. I dont want that.
The reason because I am not texting you right now is: your phone will wake you up. I know you told me it is in silence .. But ummm I dont believe you. I don't want to wake you up, you are sick.
Anyways.. I wanted to make sure you know that I never asked you to stop joking. I just dont want your jokes" which they aren't that funny) to be about other people and not always about me and how bad I speak English or how big my forehead is.. Or how I like black men or all those things that were or still are funny every now and then. I don't want you to change because I have never asked you to. You are a joker and so do I, but you know I never joke about you. I like to laugh.. You that too... I love to tease but without crossing the limit.
If right now you were in front of me you probably would be joking about something I said wrong or about anything you thought was funny.
We can't go back to the begining.. And if I had the chance to I will not do it. Friends, marrieges and any relationship grow.. And that is a beautiful thing. We grew and I hope to continue growing and get alone well. If it is not meant to be I won't push it even thou I really really like you.
I have no rights over nobody but I appreciate you give me the freedom to express what I feel about you and the things I don't like about you as well. You are a great man.. And yes you are amazing but don't waste your time thinking about how awesome you are and look around all the small things that I tell you. If you don't want to lose me I think it is a great hint for you. I have no time and energy to deal with talks and how to make a friendship work.. I really don't want to. I have done it with you because I know the most beautiful side of you, I respect you and I want you in my life, so if I have to power to keep you I will do it. (as long as everybody is happy)
I have had the best 6 months ever with your company and sweetness you bring in my life, but now I am starting to feel a little different... And it has nothing to do with you telling me how you feel at all. You always say it is bc of that... And nope. Why would I feel different because a men like you loves me??? That is just stupid. That's why I never pay mind to what you say.
I feel different because I haven't conected with you this week at all.. And I feel like I don't want to argue because your silly jokes about me. All I want to do is talk like normal people.. Laugh and be ourselfs without trying to joke about something I did wrong and you thought it was funny. I am really giving this friendship the benefit of the doubt because of my temper and my bad mood last week. (it is over for me now..) I have been happy but not with you and that's why you said I was moody all the time. I don't want to teach you how to act around me at work because if it doesn't come naturally its not the same. I know you can be very friendly with me and smile, or simply say hi.. And just be silly when we see each other.. And that's exactly like I am around my friends. You stand out because I am letting you in and because I want you to be special for me. I am not comparing you with nobody.. No emts or Brent or Carlos or RNs... Nobody... Because I don't do that. All I want to show you is how to be natural.. How to always have your head up. Seems like there is nothing more out there in the world than your bubble game on the phone. In the break room, in the elevator.. Everywhere!! Just show me you can keep your heap up and walk with me like two friends that don't care about anybody, that love each other and are inseparable at all the times. Nothing wrong with that.
Break room is for us to talk and laugh.. Or just eat and smile... Do you think that we have been doing that? Or we have been snapping at each other for every little detail we say? And I want you to be honest as I am saying WE all the time.. And not just you. I know when I am underpresure I am very delicate but I can still get alone with the world. Every time, every single time I offer you something you say NO, never be cordial and say thank you for offering but.... Whatever you want to say. Always NO. And I wasn't raise like that..
The hey what's up! Every time we say hello... Shake your head up like I was a bigger you are saying hi... I hate that!!!!! Even that guy that I see all the time from maintenance says hi looking at my eyes and asks how am I. And you say hey what's up????? I have never been treated like that with somebody I kissed and let me touch me in side and out. Never! I am not asking for hello hong, love of my life greeting... You know what I mean.
I have been on the phone these past two days but since we weren't connecting at all I didn't bother on hanging up to be arguing with you about stupid things. Not worth it right?
Every time you talk to people at work I observe you and I realize that you only act like that with me. People at work aren't stupid to realize we are great friends and we are always together... Just in case if you will try to say that you are pretending so they don't find out how much we like each other. The whole Ed knows Brent is crazy about me... But.. Do I hang out with him? No... We talk like two friends... And that it. I am very friendly with everybody and I really want to be like that with you without being interrupted by an ignorant or non sence joke.

I really care about you, I have fun with you and I am very happy around you. You are special, different... Real.. Unique.. And that's why I tell you what I feel... Just to let un understand me better and let you know where my feed are.
Nothing I felt has changed... I don't talk to anybody and I will not do it. All I want is us happy and smiling all the time no matter what Carlos did to me or your school said about your grades... Or how tired we are. Deal?
You have now, the right to leave or stay.. And no matter what you decide to do... Tell me how you feel about me, be distance, change or be the same, joke or not, talk or be quiet, keep on liking me or just stay away, I will always keep you in my head, heart... And always be waiting for a smile and for me to smile back. I dont hate anybody... And you have done nothing to me.. Ok.. But if we want to be more that buddies we need to be able to talk, and be comfortable with each other.... If that ever happens.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
What she is looking for is someone that is a person she can laugh with, smile have fun with and she didn't want things to change and they did. This is why she didn't want to be in a relationship because once friends get into a relationship it becomes more serious. This is exactly what she didn't want to happen. You both began to connect on a different level them a friendship and now she sees things have changed. Now you both have to figure out what to do to get your friendship back when the relationship was fun.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well i dont care anymore debra im.giving up she is too much.problems for something thats prob never going to.be mine.. im chasing nothing here
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She wrote.on thia guys facebook you are cute.. is that nothing to.be worried about or no. Her feelings have changed for.me and i didnt do anything to.her. so why sit and wait or treat her better when i know she never want.me..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You can not give up, you need to go forward. I do not feel her feelings have change for you. I just feel like she think things have changed in the sense that you have got more serious with the relationship. She wants the guy back that was more relax, joking, laughing. This relationship has become you constantly wondering how she feels that you could not concentrate on you and her. I want you to be yourself again and not think about if anything will progress. You started off as friends and things progressed. Right now things changed a bit, but it doesn't;t mean her feelings for you have. She called a guy cute on facebook. But that might be something she says to people almost like some people often call people hun, or honey. Often times this is just how people talk. I don't feel it means anything. I want you to continue to get to know each other.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Everyniht she calls or texts me that shes awake and that shes leaving for. work and we.meet. well i waited last night i called her and she said oh i.left already. I said why didnt you tell me she said i didnt.know i had to.. i have been relaxed. Then i told her i went to see my.buddy and shes like oh u eent to see ur ex u miss hrr u kiss her whats that shit..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Iys hard debra i want to be with her so.bad that i keep feeling shell move on or meet.someone else and.i:keep letting it get in the way how can i stop this..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She told me i have to get my stuff.together that shes not going anywhere but sue talks tona new guy everyday...
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I just don't know anymore Debra, she doesn't open up anymore shenmisses me sometimes but then sometimes she acts like weird.. She said in that letter she wants to be closer at work but some days she seems like she don't want to be bothered should I stop telling her how I feel just keep it to myself? It's frustrating.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
See does that letter seem like someone who will ever come around? She just wants friends i guess I can't see it more cause I'm involved but what do you see she said friendship and friends and if we Wana be buddy's if that ever happens..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
See I don't get it she said show me you can keep your head up and walk with me like two friends that don't care about anyone that love each other and are inseparable at all times.. She saying she loves me as a friend or more it makes no sense..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Small changes are going to happen that is normal when you both begin to be comfortable around each other. I don't think when she pulls away or acts weird it has anything to do with you. I think that is just her personality. It still sounds like she is scared to be in a commitment. You have to watch for signs that she is getting nervous and is pulling away because it could be because she doesn't want to lose you. Her feelings might be overwhelming her right now. But you both are in the comfortable part of a relationship where you both know each other and can be more relaxed. But this is when things change like she might not text you she is leaving work.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He told me she knows immscared and understands but I don't have to worry her honesty will protect me. And thatbshe doesn't want to talk to anyone and thati need to stop being negative andnstart thinking positive she don't want me thinking were never going to be together I said it bothers me that I might never get what I want and she said never? Then why u stillmtrying I said I love u and Wana be with u I'll never give up she said then just be with me don't worry about what the future holds ur not psychic you don't know what's going to happen. She said she loves how we are and even the guys who talk to her don't matter she only wants to talk to me.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well she told me that she wants me and needs me but she is also calling guys babe and there cute.and it still bothers me. She said.its.nothing but come on she still does it atter i told her i didnt oike it
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What do i do just let it go or do i just hope it doesnt mean anything?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I really believe that this is her personality. I feel this is how she expresses herself. She calls people babe and tells them they are cute. Its almost like when people say hun or sweetheart it is just words to be kind. She has expressed too you how she feels there is no one else she wants too talk too you. She care and loves you. She is going to get to a point where she will get tired of reassuring you how she feels. She will think that she no longer has to express herself because you will not believe it anyway, so you need to listen to how she feels about you, she is being honest, she wants to be with you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I understand but it's just hard when every guy she talks to she called babe or baby or your really cute she calls me the same names.. She is always telling me I mean slays about these guys who text her and talk to her at work and how they want her and how much they like her..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She just normally stalks that way, but I do feel she is trying to project like you are lucky to have her because there are plenty of others that would love to have a relationship with her. She is reminding you that you are the one she chose. She is trying to say there is no one else but you. You have to try and get past her being friend with other guys and calling them babe it doesn't mean anything too her.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well Debra I'm just going to go back to thinking about her as a friend because I now see that she won't come around and won't want anything with me. So instead of letting my feelings get out of control and then get hurt I'm just going to let this be a friendship. She gave me a cross that she had since she was a child it's something very sentimental to her.. She told me she never gave it to her ex. She said she wants me to have it and I went out and got a chain and started wearing it and she said that's sweet of me.. Why would she give me something so close to her..that she never gave to her ex of 10 years..she says I'm her niko and today people at work were asking me about her so she said she wants to come up with a story that she has a bf and that they are having a party for his b'day and she's gonna invite me.. What do I do Debra.. I mean I know she likes me a lot but she won't tell me she says I should know..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Her giving you something so sentimental is someone that really cares about you. Giving away something that she has treasured for so long is a gesture that you mean the world too her and she trust you to take care of her cross that means so much too her. That was so nice of her to give you that and that you had put it on a chain to wear. I really feel that she has such a good thing going that she doesn't want anyone messing things up so she doesn't want to tell people at work out of fear that someone else might try to steal you away from her. This often happens when someone knows you are interested in someone they begin to look at the person different and become interested in why the person likes that person so they start to try to date the person. So I think she is afraid that if you both put a label on your relationship it will fall apart.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
So should I keep going will we be together do you think.. I want to be with her soo bad
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Debra she just texted me from school saying this...

Nick you L me? Well I like you too. Nick I said yes she said I know we are friends and I know it's because of me but .... I really....feel happy around you and I want to thank you for accepting me and my conditions of this friendship. I love you very much and I love us right now..thank you nick:)

Then I said your welcome I love you and us too right now, then she said thank you nick..

Then I said do u love me like a friend or more? She said what do you think I said more... She said I love you both my ll heart..

She said I hope I'm not confused about what I feel but I do appreciate you verrrrrryyy much..
I said how can u be confused she said women are stupid sometimes..

Then she said I hate that you don't tell me you can't wait or that your dying or I drive you crazy or you miss me like crazy..all those extreme things that I feel yo feel.. I said I always tell you I miss you your always on my mind and I can't stop thinking about you.. And I always want to see u there's never a time I don't want to see you.. She said that's just something ordinary people say... I said I can say it if you want me to she said I feel you feel that way but if I'm wrong then I misunderstood..


What's this mean is this a good things Debra..
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I see this as her telling me she loves our friendship and doesn't want it to go anywhere she just wants to stay friends.. Am I wrong
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I don't read the same way as you have, you think she just wants to remain friends forever. I see her still taking her time and not wanting anything to change in the friendship. She expressed herself in the sense that she loves you more than a friend that is obvious. But her fear of things going horrible wrong and losing you as a friend is something she never wants to happen. She is enjoying her time with you and doesn't want to lose that at all.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
But if she doesn't want to lose me and wants this friendship to last won't that keep her from making me her bf.. If she keeps us friends then she don't have to worry about anything..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
No, because she is going to at some point be nervous you might date someone else. If some other woman was to come into your life she would be nervous she would lose you as a friend and a possible boyfriend. So there will be a point in time where she will feel like she might lose you and she will react by asking you to be her boyfriend.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I just don't see that.. Last night she told me nick ur my best friend.. I honestly don't think she's ever going to want more I think she only like us as friend..if someone loves someone they get more serious they don' keep u as a friend.. It's ok tho I'm ok with it she's a great friend but I have to live my life if someone else comes along I'm going to see what happens because it could be so,ething and i will still have her as a friend
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
One reason I feel she won't want anything is she and this security guard Brent used to be close and ate lunch all the time.. And once me and her started hanging out she stopped hanging with him but he's in love with her. He is married with 3 kids and he wants to have sex with her.. I once told her that I know u would be with Brent if he wasn't married and she said I would but I wouldn't.. I said what's that mean she said if he didn't have kids and wasn't married I would be with him but he is so it's not happening.. Now me and her are wayyy closer then they ever were but she would be with him and don't want to be with me.. To her I'm the best friend she can talk to tell anything to and simply have around.. I'm not someone she sees more then a friend and I really don't think she will. It's been amazing these past6 months and I'm going to keep doing it I'm giving her one year if nothing changes or she don't feel like shell want to be with me I can't continue it I have no choose to cut it... That's plenty of time. We got to close and now all she sees is a best friend someone who's always there for her but not boyfriend material..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
It's easy to say yes, I would be with Brent if he wasn't married and had children. But you just can't even answer that questions because they might have only stayed friends as well. You just can't say. I know you and her are on your way to developing a relationship because you both are very close. she cares and love you and she has made that really clear. What I see is someone that feels like when she opens her heart up something happens. Brent is married with children so that never worked out, so she feels when she gets close to someone things fall apart. So she is being very cautious.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I hope so I mean we still kiss, and see each other some days not as much as I'd like to.. But I love her very much and I know she does but that don't mean shell ever Wana be with me.. I just don't see it anymore Debra
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I still see it, I just feel she has got comfortable with you, so you see differences in her. You both are still kissing, that is a huge sign that she loves you.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well Debra its over, we had a fight yesterday because I'm such an asshole.. She brought up the Brent situation and she said if he didn't have kids or wasn't married I would be with him like that he's deff my type.. And that pissed me off I said how can u say that u would be with him like that and you want nothing with me that makes me feel terrible. She said I was acting like a child that she didn't mean it like that and that she didn't mean I wasn't her type.. So I got mad and said its bullshit yo talk about all these guys always I never talk about a girl and she said that's all I have to talk about.. I said really if you don't talk about a guy then it's nothing what's that.. So I left I was pissed then I felt bad cause of what happens so I texted her and she said first save your apologies your right we were never more than friends were just friends.. I said are we done I need to know she said how can we be done if you never gave it a chance to happen.. She said how can you feel like your nothing when I kiss u ur in my bed you touch me inside and out? Then she said I'm not mad at you I'm just dissapointed.. I told her I love her I don't want to lose her I'm sooo sorry how I acted I haven't slept in 3 days so that was a factor but there's no excuses and she said don't ask if were ok your not a piece of trash I'm just going to throw away.. I still care about you I won't stop caring about you in 2 minutes so calm down.. So I spoke to her tonight and I hugged her and explained everything and she said she just needs time I said did your feelings change for me she said why would my feelings change.. And that was at 10pm I haven't talked to her she's ignoring me I texted her and I don't want to keep bothering her cause she needs space but I'm afraid I'm going to lose her because of this stupid fight...
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Debra forget about the fight and all that cause it's over and were doing really good. I just really can't understand something. She says that she usually goes home after class and sleeps but she finds herself wanting to see me and hangout with me even tho she's soo tired.. She said that we are dating but she don't like to use that word, and that she doesn't want a relationship and that she don't want me to leave but when I feel I had enough of waiting I can leave.. But when say I never going to have her she gets mad and says then why u trying just stop now.. I don't get how someone will never want anything with you but act the way they act.. I said I know your in love with me she said I told you I love yo I never said I was in love with you but she smiled I don't know if she's kidding or what.. She said when we have sex she wants it to mean something and not just be a guy she did it with.. She said she adores me but then she says she don't want a relationship she's happy with what we have.. Is that bad if she's never going to want a relationship with me then should I stop and just be friends I want to be with her so bad but if she doesn't want me I can't do this.. I said I don't want to be your last resort cause I'm here and ur getting older so u just pick me.. She said noo nick i have a list of guys your not going to be the last guy for me..she said I want to feel desperate to whree I need you and want to be with you. She said a relationship is a lot of work and effort and with school and what's going on at work I just can't do it I don't want to give rights.. I want to stay and wait for her but it's just seeming she's never going to want me.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
It sounds like the fight brought you closer together as bad as it was, I think she realized how you felt and she got nervous you were going to leave. I think she felt you were done and she was going to lose you and when she thought about, she acted like the argument was no bid deal because she wanted you to calm down. She basically is saying you both are dating, so I want you to just develop this relationship together. I understand why you got upset with her talking about Brent and you had all rights to your emotions in being upset. No one wants to hear that the girl thy love would be with another guy if he wasn't , married and had kids. I think one reason why she says you both are not together because she is not ready to have sex just yet. I think she needs to feel really comfortable with you before she moves forward. This could be the one thing that is stopping this relationship from being a committed one. If you asked her if this is the reason and that you both could be in a committed relationship and you would never pressure her about sex, she might feel different.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
We are doing very well now, she said she can't believe how close we are and we almost lost each other.. But I still feel I'll never be with her more then what we are.. She doesn't want a relationship but she's happy with how we are.. So I just have to enjoy what we have till whatever happens happens.. But I don't ever see her wanting more...
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
She was worried that you and her would no longer be together because you had that argument. She was afraid to lose you, you now know that she reacts when she is worried about losing you she basically said you both are dating. If another girl came along and wanted to date you, she would be very worried that she was going to lose you to someone else. She wants a relationship with you with no label. This can be difficult because you know you are more than friends, but have to introduce her as your friend. It's like your dating but you are not. It has everything in a relationship, but has no title. You want more and she wants things to stay the same. So you both want different things in this relationship.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
It's still early for us I mean maybe one day shell want to change and want me but I don't see it.. So I don't know what to do with her.. I said earlier to her that imcan handle us fighting but I will not tolerate cheating.. She said cheating on a friend I never done that one.. I said ok I get it were just friends.. What should I do just let her go? Or keep working on trying to change her mind
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
I Debra, we have been doing well and we hangout yesterday and she told me nick I really really like you and i want to be with you.. I said I do too then she grabbed me and said I want to be with you.. I said but.. She said I'm just confused because I still think about my ex. She said but I miss and think about you more and when I'm with you I don't think about him. I think about the things we used to do.. I said maybe u want to go back with him and she said stop I don't want to go back cause I know he is still the same.. And that he is still trying to get back with her he hugs her and try's to kiss her but she don't want to cause she thinks of me.. Then she said I want you my bf but I know school is going to get harder and I won't be able to see you as much and if in a relationshipthat will hurt us.. And I want to focus on school and no distractions.. She said she never wants to lose me and she's going to try very very hard to make this work but she's a woman and there stupid. I told her I have a time I'm giving you one year from today if you don't want to be with me by then then it's not going to happen and she said wow that's pressure.. I said how if u can't commit to me in a year and 7 months then u never really wanted to.. Then I said I don't know if were ever going to be together and she said I hate when you say that you don't know I could want a relationship tomorrow.. I said no I don't know but you already set your mind on not wanting me so that wont change.. So what do I do Debra I want to be with her baddd..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
She sounds like she struggle with moving forward. She doesn't want to be in a relationship that is going to end in heart break so she protects herself by not making that commitment that way she will not get hurt. She is still dealing with feelings with her ex, so she needs that time to heal. But she also doesn't want to lose you.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
WHat do you think about this this is what was said today between us..

I wrote her a sweet letter and out it iher jacket without her knowing.. She read it and said Awwwwww thank you for the sweet not I knew it was going to be something pretty and it means more that you wrote it in Spanish :)

Her: Te amo means real deep love, so you do really love me..
Me: baby I really do love you that way deeply I hope it doesn't make you feel weird or anything
I know it hasn't been that long for us but I can't help what I feel for you I'm madly in love with you..
Her: I don't kwo what to say.. But I think I'm falling for you too. I think about you too much,I don't know myself and I can't help it..

Then we started to talk about sex and she said i love how your into me and that your perverted with me but i dont want to be like that with you yet.. sex sometimes complicates or ruins thins I want to enjoy how we are now I like it..
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
I really do think she really wants to take things slow and she does feel if you both make that commitment that when you do make that decision to be intimate that it will compliant thing. She is afraid that things will get to intense for both of you and she is not ready to have those overwhelming feelings.
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Customer: replied 2 years ago.
We hung out yesterday and her ex texted her a picture.of there dog to tell her.hes doing good.. and she didnt.know.i was looking she wrote back to.him i miss you muuuax... Whats that... I know.believe im a back.up to her incase she.doesnt want.him..
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

Hey Debra how are you it's been a while.. Well everything has been going ok I guess with us but were still not together and this new guy just started messaging her on Facebook and she again was telling me. She told me he's in love with her wants to workout with her cause he saw her at the gym with me before.. And she said she barley talks to I'm ... Well the other day he was leaving work and me and her were walking in they stopped hugged and started talking ... Then she told me she said he looks gay don't he he seems very feminine.. And wen we were sitting there I looked over and saw her texting him.. I didn't say anything I let it go then it started bothering me cause she never told me they were texting.. So she texted me saying hey baby how's your night then she said that guy messages me on fb I haven't read it yet.. I said oh on fb or text she said fb ..I said do you like him she said no didn't you listen when I told you I didn't like him.. I said I only ask cause I saw u texting him and yo never told me you guys are texting.. Then she said I don't have to tell you but yes we been texting since a week ago.. And I said u usually tell me why didn't you and i said o ok it's not my business I get it.. And we then talked and she said he means nothing he's just a sweet guy and they talk she also talks to Brent in text now and a kid named Ryan and she said they mean nothing to me.. I said will you hangout with him she said no never.. But in the last few days we barley talk and I feel she has been hanging out with him.. What do I do?

Detail Required: LOW; Urgency: LOW
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
Hi Debra it's been a long time but I didn't want to talk to anyone else because I spent all my time telling you .. Well me and her are doing very well still not officially together but she told me she's in love with me and I love her too were doing good but she got a new job and she will be on a different shift now I'll be working 11-7 and she I'll now be 3-11 and I'm worried we will fade apart she says not to worry nothing will change what we have we will still see each other but I can't help worry ..

We went out on Friday and she told me listen I'm going to use a car as an example.. She said I'm like an engine and your the mechanic I need you to take care of the engine and make sure it's running smoothly so that the engine can return the favor she said don't u want the engine to be perfect for you so one day you can have a perfect car and pit a family in it.. She said you need to stop bing stupid and just take care of the engine so she can grow and run good for you.. I told her I love her so much and she said she loves me too.. Were doing good but I just feel that because of school and now a new shift something bad will happen.. She told me no one can take your place don't worry you will still see me..

I feel were growing stronger she told me yesterday that she has been thinking about having sex together but she gets scared because what if it's going to be weird and I said it won't be because the love is already there were in love so it's going to be special and she said your right.. I told her I want you to be my life forever and she said well just stop being stupid and make sure your engine is running...

Am I just being paranoid?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 2 years ago.
She is trying to esplain too you taht she needs you to be there for her to love her unconditional. To not be scared to put everything you have into this relationship because she is trying to be the best person she can be for you. She wants you to know that if you are patient that you will have this amazing girl. She needs you in her life and she is expressing herself by using an explain of a car. She doesnt know how to come out and say how she feels, so she is trying to give you an example of how she feels which is a good way for her to communicate because no communication doesnt solve problems so her talking is awesome. This will help figure out what is going on and how she feels it will build a better stronger relationship.
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