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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  24 years in a private practice
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I have been in a relationship for a year. my problem is I have

Resolved Question:

I have been in a relationship for a year. my problem is I have love for him but i am not in love. If i am i dont feel it or know it. He is very kind and very smart but has been out of work for two years. do i hang on hoping he will financialy get it together or should i just cut him loose. Im not sure if i stay in our relationship out of feeling sorry or because someone is better than no one. not sure what i feel.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 5 years ago.

Kevin Kappler :

You seem to be wanting to distinguish the feelings you have for someone who is unemloyed and down on his luck from the romantic feelings you have for the person you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with.

Kevin Kappler :

If you stay in the relationship and he finally gets on his feet then you will have seen him at his low point and he will improve as he enjoys working again. That is the route people who are always wanting to be secure would take. A lot of your decision depends on what type of person you are.

Customer:

yes, I am not sure about my relationship. shouldn't i know or feel if im inlove with him? I care about him he is very sweet and thoughtful but i feel kinda unsure.

Kevin Kappler :

Some women want a man who will always be nice to them. Other women are not satisfied without an emotional bull ride.

Customer:

I guess my uncertainty is because we met after he was laid off from work. He has been upfront and honest with me. he has a wonderful family that treats me as part of the family. He has enrolled in school to finish his bs in international business. so he is making an effort to improve.

Customer:

are you still there?

Kevin Kappler :

Again he sounds like everything a woman whowants security would go for. There are many women like that out there. At worse you could decide to break up in the future. You may need to go out more often and see what else is out there.

Kevin Kappler :

If there is other ways I can help in your making this decision let me know. I would not be surprised if you continue in the relationship. Having the support of a comforting and nice man is hard to resist.

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