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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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broken relationship

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i have been dating JENNY FOR A YEAR AND HALF. I thought we where doing good evan planning our futurethen her second x husband comes back in the picture they have been divorced for 4 years. she even a year ago told him it was over and to get lost. now we are breaking so she can see whats up and why she has feeling for him. he wrote her a letter with every thing she always wanted to hear. this was after they had talked the night before he called her. she is also saying she needs space does not know what to think she keeps telling how confused she is and stress over this she is. i gave her a ring she had it on for 4 hour took a picture told her x. she said if I am gone she would think of me and you never know might realy miss me. what do you think of this. also i showed her the ring one time said I would not bring back she said what if it is Gods will! what do you all think? I feel somehow she will come back to me?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Right now she is very confused about her feelings. Her ex said things that she always wanted to hear and now she is wondering if he has changed. But she moved on with you and should continue to stay in a relationship with you. What she needs to know is that if she goes back with her ex and risk your relationship things might not change with her ex. He could go back to his old ways and then she could be disappointed and have regrets that she risked her relationship with you. Some times in life we think we want something then you find out you don't. Often times people forget why they split up. They quickly forget the bad times because they want to block them out. When they return to the relationship they realize they can't go back. That what they thought they wanted they don't. Explain to her that she really needs to look at you and her and know that what if you decide to move on and you don't come back. She needs time to decide her feelings. If you have anymore questions I will gladly answer.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He was in jail it was his first time it was 72 days. for stealing copper he was on drugs at the time. infact at on time he made Methe evan some while they where together. he gave up drugs and booze in jail. he is a hard worker but his work track record is not good will not keep a job quits when he gets ahead. but she says none of this matters he is sweet when soper. he is 34 and a electrician. she is 40 and project manager not making a killing but a good living. i am a corp Health and safety person 47 years old. she says she can do this and that and take care of her self. I have tried to help while we have been together. she has told people in the past how much she apperciated and enjoyed. also she has said I keep her grounded. when this all started we where shooting I love You emails and cute funny stuff to each other during the day. also acting goofey together. she ask me a couple time about my x knowing and do not share much. infact she was very picky about who went with me to ge my stuff. not wanting any guys I workk with from my department. now she is talking in past tense like when we where together. I no all she is thinking is about her x I am past. but my beleave is that will change some how. i hvae been praying hard and put this in the Lords hands. the x was suposed to be here this week he delayed it a week already who this could be the lord s work. i am moving out all my stuff. she wants to see where it goes and all. He says he completlly changed.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Her and her ex have gone through a lot of tough times together and she feels that they both need a second chance to make things right again. He has said he has changed, but it will be just like starting over again. Im sure he is no longer the same person he once was and it will be an adjustment for her. Sometimes you fall in love with a certain person, they change and your feelings change as well. Some times you can put the past behind you even though the person changed because all you can remember is the old person they once were. Now she has decided to give him a chance, this is a huge decision for her. It is a risk that she is taking because if it doesn't work out she has to realize that you have all rights to move on as well. I think you should express too her what if things don't work out with him and you already left. She is going to miss so many things that you and her shared. Some times you think you want this other life and then realize what you left behind was the life you always wanted.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

from what I understand she says they talk like they used it is familiar. to me this means he has not changed because of there conversations. I went to pick up my final load of stuff including furniture. i picked up my mattress it was new and nice. She made a comment it would not be right sleeping on the bed. while loading she told me several times She Loved Me and even held both of my hands looked in my eyes. i made a comment I would wait for her in Heart I told you are coming back to me. she said if it did not work I might be hooked up with my x. by the way when I mention I had talked to my x later in the conversation as i moved stuff. She was like did you tell her I had to based on property and did do to house hold stuff I might need. She was upset like do not tell not want her business out. plus several other time during the move she mentioned my x would cause me problems. Maybe this will open her eyes some towards us and make her think. I asked is he moving she does not know. also I told her I was a call away if she needed me she appreciated that she said. also I told I realize she has to deal with this before we can go forward for life. I told her we might not see each other again she said I am sure we will. right before i left we where leaning on the corner of the counter looking into each other eyes she did tell me she loves me again. also she said earlier i might have to be cone to make her realize us and what she had. she text me on the way home Thank u for being understanding. I appreciate it more than u realize. I did write a Love letter and give it to her last night. I think security will play big I have at my job and work constantly the he does he has a shaky job record. Doy think he will be compared to me? also will it affect her and him that the house she has I lived in with her no other man did?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This really is a different situation, she is telling you she loves you and is holding your hands. This is not ending because she fell out of love with you. In fact you are both splitting up on good terms. I feel that if it is possible you should stay in her life. I feel she may think she is making the right choice but as time passes she will realize what she gave up. Her ex could come back and not change at all. You really can not tell where their relationship will go. I know it will take a lot of patience because of his past. People do change, but will she like the changes she made in her life. Her feelings for you are still very strong, its going to be hard for her to adjust to this new life without you in it. I want you to tell her that younwill be there for her. If she needs you and tell her not to lose contact. Remind her that you both built a life together as well and it will not be so easy to forget. I feel like she feels she owes him a second chance. He pursued her and convinced her to give them a second chance. I feel it made her question her life and feelings.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I have told her I am only a phone call away she realy apperiated that she shaid. you can tell she is very unsure from her overall action and this is tearing her aprt us breaking up. she did tell me they where both nervous about seeing each other. also he might not like what he see. that might be true tey have been 3.5 years seeing each other. she is forty but looked a lott different back then still arcative but. Her work stress does show also she has gained some weight not a size six maybe a 12 14 now. he says size does not matter. Also wrote a email alst nigh to her sayin Heavy on my Heart.I wrote a email last night after praying I woke up at 4 am. I prayed about us and got a peace. From God letting me know not to worry. He has it under control in his time. Iprayed about not having any envy towards Trey. I signed off Pooket Love is all giving. I let you go but know God is bring us back togethe as One in time! she did reply hoping my sister was oka telling me aboout taking her dad to the doctor this morning. Do you think she and I lived in her house will that make this tuffer on her and him? No one elses has lived there with her except me.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have told her I am only aphone call away she realy apperciated that she said. You can tell she is very unsure from her overall action and this is tearing her apt us breaking up. She did tell me they where both nervous about seeing each other. Also she said he might what he sees now. That might be true they have been 3.5 years seeing each other. She forty but looked diiferent back then she still actrive very much. Her work stress does show also she has gained some weight went from 6 to 12 - 14 now. He says does not matter. Also wrote a email her sayin Heavy on my Heart after praying to her I woke at a very odd hour 3:30 could not sleep. I prayed about no eny towards trey her x. I signed off Pooket Love is all Giving. I let you go but know God is going to bring us back together as One in Time. Do you think she and I living in her house together will make it tuffer on Her and Him. it was a house she just bought before me. I still had my own house during the time. Also why does she keep bringing up my x to see if we have talked and if I told my x about she and I breakup. When i do say i talked about some propery divoerce stuff she kinda gets fired up Also jenny has said that my x would cause me problem be best not totalk to her. through this strange.

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I think because you were the one that lived in the house she will miss so many things that you shared together. Im sure the house is very empty right now. This relationship she is entering into now is something im sure she is torn about. That is a long time to be apart. It is like two people getting to know each other all over again. He will not be the man she once remembered. He will be different. Your relationship with her is something that makes her sad that she is ending things. She knows she is taking a ask in going back to the life she once had. It might of been something she always hoped would work out. She might have a relationship with him and then realize she wans to be with you that she made a mistake. What you have to think about is if after all this would you take her back. It sounds like she is afraid that you are going to go back to your ex. She is worried about that. She thinks if you tell the your ex she will start pursuing you and want to get back together. I feel that she is worried she might lose you and if she changes her mind she couldn't go back because you went back to your ex.
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Category: Relationship
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I have tought and Prayed to God. Yes I will take her back. Infact I told her when moving mu stuff completly out. I will be waiting on you. She said it might be late then my x might back. I reasured her i was standing firm on us. I am going to stand steady like a oak tree. I have no desire to go back to my x they are a x for reason. She also told me the other night when Imoving her x might not like what he sees when he looks at her after four years. I think her heart and women side is tell her leading her but deep in her gut she knows it most probaly will not work. Her x is moving down here about 9 hours from home to be with her. it is up in the air wether he is moving in with her or the people he is going to work for she said have some rental stuff. He strated this playing with her emotions by phone. Then got a job down here called her and broke the news he was moving here to near her she was the only reason he was. I think he is trying to restart his life his family says he needs to move from his home town. So he thought Jenny a house and new start for him. also she told me on her how long he went to jail then I asked how long he had been out she did not know plus tell me it was his first and he does not want to go He is realy playing her heart strings. He wrote in letter all how he felt about her and more plus mentioned a couple of time she new she was happy evan mentioned my name in it. saying she did not want to confuse her and glad she and i where happy together in more than spot.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have thought and prayed to God. Yes I would I will take her back. I wrote her Love is all giving. When moving my stuff completely out. I had to let her go to get her back. Also I realize she needs to do this before we take the next step. So we can move on and she can put this behind her and move on. she just smiled a little at me. I told her I will be waiting on you. She said it might be to late then my x might be back. I reassured her I was standing firm on us. I have decided in my mind and Heart I am standing steady like a oak tree. In my mind I have desire to go with my x at all. She told me point at her self her x might not like how she looks now after 4 years. He says that does not matter but it could right? I think on the surface and heart she is being driven to do this. But her gut is saying other and will not work. Her x is moving down here 9 hrs from his home town to be with her. He talked and played with her. Then got a job not telling her he was looking or planning on moving. the called her hey i am moving to be with you. I think he is starting life down here because of his past up home. An took a shot called Jenny we were not married yet played on it. She is sold he has changes since jail 72 day which she told me I asked how long he had been out she said she did not know. he needs her i think allot now and got her thinking the same in confusion. He is really play her heart string and pushing buttons on her. If me I would driven down to go to dinner before moving here after 4 years of not seeing each other. She says talking on the phone it was like old and she noes what he looks like. it almost sound like she is telling me put convincing her self also?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Your ex seems to be a big problem for her, I wonder if she thought you were going to go back too her that maybe you were unsure about yours and her relationship. She seems like she made this decision because she thought you wanted to go back to your ex. So she decided to go back too her ex. That is why she asked you if you told your ex if you moved out because she figures your going to run back too her. Im sure she is really nervous and worried about things working out with her ex. She is caught up in remembering how things use too be and feels things could go back that way. She might feel like this is a fairy tale like her ex getting a job and wanting to change his whole life to be with her. It sounds like he swept her off her feet having her believe that this was for the best and he needs to get a second chance. But this has also cost you your relationship. He has been in prison and prison can really change you. It can put people in a state of mind that they messed up, need to change. So often they go back to try to repair their wrongs. He must have thought his life was good with her and he messed up a good thing in his life. Now he is going to fix things and get his life back that he lost. You are very positive that she will come back too you. That is good to stay positive, I would be there for her because I feel her heart is with you still.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

My x realy only came in when after x called and all this started.

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I really wonder if she thought you were going to leave her for your ex. She might have been protecting herself by going back with her ex, just figuring she was going to lose you. I think you should right now ask her if she thought that and reassure her that you were never going back with your ex. Tell her that even if you and her are not together, you are never going back too her. That your mind is made up and the only girl for you is her. No one compares too her. I see that her ex comes back and yours comes back that was an instant problem in your relationship. I caused doubts. I would straight out ask her if she felt you were leaving her for your ex. I think she got nervous and was concern she was going to lose you.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

( i have told her many times I am not going back to her. Infact I said some thing like I am not going back because x and you are for reason and she said Bret your x and you faught alot. she now says most of the fight where because she is hot tempered now she has setlled down? which I question first i have seen her get fired up espicialy depends who to also do not different people bring the hot headed out more in each other? infact the other day sent a email my final divorce where papers where on the judges desk waiting to be signed she did not reply? i want you to read the email she sent me back on 7/27 which is first the letter he sent is second please read?

 

(I am sorry things are like they are. I can't question what God has in my plans. He has our lives planned from Beginning to End and I have to believe he has good in store for me.

 

This is something I have to do so I don't go on for the rest of my life wondering 'what if'. If it is a mistake, then it is God's intention for me to finally let this go & it is MY mistake to make. I truly believe God has everything to do with this.

 

Please take care of yourself. I know this is hard on both of us.)

 

 

I want you to read what Trey sent me after we talked so long last week. It's important (to me) for you to see what he wrote so you understand.

 

A lot of what he puts in his email are the exact same things you tell me...so now you can see why I was confused.

 

I never thought he would come back in my life with everything I had waited so long to hear; never thinking I would ever hear! It just came too late.

 

I Love You Pookie!

 


Dear XXXXXny,

 

I just spoke to you and I am on cloud nine. I feel like a teenager again. I can't stop smiling. Thank you for accepting my call. I truly wasn't sure if you would want to talk to me. My hands were shaking when we spoke.

 

I have so much on my mind and just need to get it out on paper. I realize that you have a new life. I don't want to selfishly send you this risking putting you in a confusing situation. Nor do I want to make things weird for us. I don't want you to spend a minute worrying anymore than you already have over me. I know I have caused you so much pain and you truly deserve the best. I am so sorry for treating you like anything but a princess.

 

You are my everything. You are the only true love I have ever had and always will be. You are the only person I can seem to think about.

 

I don't think it's healthy to keep feelings bottled up and would hate to spend another minute of my life without you knowing how I feel.

 

You deserve the truth and an explanation of my actions when we divorced. I'm not excusing my behavior, but was getting so many mixed signals from so many directions. I wasn't seeing my wife on a regular basis, Kari was literally throwing herself on me, I wasn't sure if you really loved me anymore, I felt like Rachel needed me, I was drowning and didn't know what to do. I'm not the strong willed person you are. You are the only person who has been able to get me out of my ruts, but you weren't there, which is my fault.

 

Moving to Marianna after all you had done for me was selfish on my part. I should have never asked that of you. I asked way too much from you. You made my life complete in Baton Rouge, but I was too blind to see how good I had it. I just wanted to be near my family and have you here with me. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I lost my way, but now I see things clearer. I have been in Marianna near my family, but saw them even more when I was in Baton Rouge. Instead, I lost the love of my life.

 

I cannot imagine life without you. I know that we were to meant to be. We had such a sweet love together. It was very real, not just something I was comfortable with, not just someone to fill a spot, not just someone to have sex with. You are much more than that. I have never met someone so kind, witty, smart. I could go on and on. You light up a room when you walk in. My family loves you also. You are just a loveable person Jenny.

 

I am truly happy that you have found someone that makes you happy. If I can only have you as a friend, then I will take that if it's all I can get. The last thing I want to do is cause you and Bret any stress, but want you to know you are on my mind and I am always here for you.

 

I miss seeing your beautiful face and hope that one day I can wake up to it forever. Jenny, I love you so much.

 

Love,

Trey

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is a very strong letter. She also looks like she put this in God's hands. Im sure she felt that the letter was an apology and that he realized all his wrong. He now knows how to treat her. She feels that he deserves a second chance that she hoped for this day that he would change. But it has been years and she dis movie on. He was considerate of her relationship with you. But also told her he couldn't see his life without her. So he told her all his feelings put his heart on the line and hoped that she would come back too him. This is his second chance with her. His chance to change his life to go back when he felt happy, but he took his life and her for granted. He will struggle when he comes her because he is making major changes in his life. A job, a new place, a girl he hasn't had a relationship with in years. The problem might arise that he might think this is what he wants but he might realize he doesn't. Its a risk for her, but she must feel this is the right thing to do. She still too me feels like you might go back to your ex, but she should know you are not by what you are saying.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I want to say thanks and i taking all your reply in making one out of them in my mind.

 

i still lean on that i beleave his family had alot to do with this move? I also think that a man Claiming spirtuality by quoting scrpiture to her. if he realy is change and a man of God when he found On the first call we where together he should back off and not wrote the letter? alos He has been working odd electrical job for family friend no real world contact like a full time real job? To see if he realy quit drinking and drugs stress? and unknown time he has been out of jail? it was only 72 day most rehabs are longer? She said many times she realy enjoye our conversations we both work stressful fob in corp wold and could realte she like. He could not relate as much she would say? now of course no problem> she also said we had a lot of the same thought proccess due to our work and over all mind set. Infact I was much more like her first x she would say in may ways 3 years older and mind set she like that alot? now? and she like our age difference because men mature later she would say? now only age no problem. what about now saying it was her fault they faught so much? I have reasured very much I wa here and going any anywhere was a phone call away but one day it could come to us never being able to talk again but that time was not now for sure?i told after we are somhow going to reuninte Pookie and Pooket? i also beleave she would tell me to quit using i love you if it was realy over. in my heart I think her x will come down and some how they will relize hey this was great but? also would not a 34 year old man want more than 1 kid who his first x has? and the 13 year old daughter refuses to see him because of action he did after jenny and trey divorced? like hold his first wife down while she through a fit and daughter saw? jenny want s no kids she never had any and to late tried in eralier time but no luck?

 

she is still send me follow up email this tell stuff like this me after we broke up. I am on her mind alot also. I fully beleave she will come back it moght be with a torn heart or just relizing the stabilty and what we have is more mature for later in life. i sent his one to her the other night at 3:30 am after i PRAYED

 

Subject: On my Heart Heavy

 

Hi Pooket. I woke about 45 min still can't sleep I am will try in a min. I just finished praying for Sandy she is going through a lot with things at home. In fact when I dropped of Peter. I went in to see her she was in bed. We talked a lot about her problems she really needed to unload. While Praying I prayed about us and got a peace. From God letting me know not to worry. He has us under control in His time. I prayed about not having any envy towards Trey. Pooket. Love is all giving! I let you go but know God is going to bring us back together as One in time!

 

 

From Jenny later the next day. she had already earlier that day.replied hoping my sister was okay.

No! & I was so hungry for a hamburger! He wanted Taco Bell (yuck! I wasn't in the mood for that at all).

 

I prayed very hard on the way to get my dad this morning. Asking for God to send me a SIGN that he hears me (which I know he does & should NOT question) but I just needed some SIGN that he is working in some way to help me get through all of this. Did he EVER answer me! See what happened below:

 

We get in the room where all the chemo patients are (all in recliners; about 25 patients, plus nurses etc..). There are always volunteers in the chemo area handing out snacks/juice. Today they were there from Healing Place Church.

 

The Minister was also there today & he came up to me with a lady who was volunteering from the church. I was just sitting there reading a book.

His name was Sergio & he was visiting from San Diego.

 

He asked if they could pray with me. Out of all the people in the room; probably a total of 45...they picked me...they prayed over me, saying a prayer for my Dad & then said:

"Jenny has things she thinks are bigger than her right now" & "nothing is too big for the Lord to take care of".

 

I got chills & my eyes filled up with tears. It was truly an amazing experience! I thanked him with tears starting to roll down my face. I said I REALLY needed this right now.

 

I feel like this was the SIGN I was asking for. Of all the people in the room & this Minister being there from CA today to pray over me. GOD is so powerful!

 

i replied back to her above telling I love her and will be there for her. she wrote me back this email a little later.

I have NEVER had anything like this happen to me & I need this now more than ever! This is honestly the hardest thing I have been through in my entire life.

 

I know God is hearing me, guiding me, & will take care of me. I am 100% certain of that.

 

I felt like God was speaking to me directly through this Minister. It was almost like an outer body experience. I truly can say I felt moved!

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
God always has perfect timing and is constantly teaching. That was very touching what you just said and if you trust in God 100 percent he will always guide you in the right direction. I find that God often takes these difficult times so that he can show us what we need to do, what we need to change. I want you before you go to sleep pray to God for him to reveal the answer to what you need to do in this situation. But be specific in what you ask. God often takes his time to answer questions because he has to give you the perfect answer to guide you in your life.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I have turnned it over to God and he has comforted me giving me wise council. that is why I know i need to stay steady? also look at some of my question above her emails that she like about us but not matter like age?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I feel the reason why he wrote the letter was because he felt he had to tell her even if nothing came out of it. Was he right in doing this is the question. I feel if he knew she was happy with you he would have let her stay happy with you. Someone that truly loves her. His problems with drugs is something we really do not know how long he has been addicted, but it will be a battle for him. Drug addiction is a constant struggle and it sounds like it hasn't been a long time. So he will be working on that. She can relate too you and im sure you both have more in common, but she is torn on the right things to do. She feels he changed and worked to get her back. I think she feel obligated to give him a second chance. But I think she truly knows who she belongs with. I would ask her how she made the decision through God to be with him.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
he was making meth when they where together with his brother off and on. infact got her hooked for 2 years on meth she quit on her own. they where where together 7 yr. sje hate s drugs now. he smoked pott and drank in fact for alomost 1 year he did nothing but sit on couch and drink and smoke pott. but there where time he was clean. she has told me alot about this while we have been together. he is a hard worker when he works but he tends to not stay employe she would say he make some money he needed then quit. when he went o jail i understand his cousion almost got him in trouble for pot at his place? Jenny is by no means a drug person she is a perofesional hard work infact cheerleeder in high school. she says this is God she has told me more than once. I think it is a test from God she has to go through and get behind her. I fully beleave she will get trough it and get back with me?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This was a relationship that she stood by him through many difficult times. The relationship was not perfect and now she feels he changed, but it seems like him making changes have been off and on. He changes then goes back he seems like there might be patterns. His personality sounds like he needs to be constantly doing something. He needs to keep his mind busy. They were together a long time and she has seen the worst. She has been through a lot with him. I think she feels she needs to go back to fix things as well. She might feel like he will change this time. You always have that hope that the person you once cared about will change. That the thing you couldn't fix in your life is now getting a second chance, she might have had regrets.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I do beleve she and I had a very tigh relationship ?She did look me in the eye the other day and tell me. she loved me and did this more than one time. first off they have not evan seen each? i think i will play a part in this some how on how she looks at him and taking a chance on hime realy changing? also us and loosing me for real to some else. but I am praying to GOD and he has given me signs and words from Godly council. that do not worry it will work and to be like a Oak tree steady for her?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
It will play a big part that they have not see each other. I think seeing each other is going to make a difference. Because she looks you in the eye and tells you she loves you. It's almost like she is saying my heart is with you, please understand this is something I feel I have to do. I think she knows as well that God will make the right decision. I think she wants you to wait for her because it is almost like she needs to fix this piece in her life in order to move forward. She wants to fix the past. Some times you have this vision in your mind that if I only could have done things differently, fix things that I could not change at the time. Now she feels she has this chance to really know if this relationship under these conditions if it will work. If drugs was the problem and now that this has changed she wants to see if it will work out. But one thing she needs to know is it has been years and she has moved on and her heart is now with you. You can tell she loves you with all her heart. But is torn in doing what she thinks is the right thing. But it might not be what she really wants. God will make her see that she needs to do what is best for her life. She needs to be happy with her choices and she will miss so many things about you and her that she might see that she can not live without you in her life.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
you know about a hour ago i almost the smae thought process.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I feel if you keep in contact with her and she realizes that you are not going back to your ex and that you are going to stand there strong for her, she might just realize that her love for you is what will help her make the right decision. I feel if you keep communicating with her she will see that you were always going to be there for her. All her questions about your ex will disappear from her mind and she will finally see your love for her that you were willing to wait to give her that time to make the right decision. Maybe God wanted to close this chapter in her life so she could fix it and move on to have a happy life with you.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I was holding off calling her or emailing for a while? I was giving her space to miss me some? She did hint a few times give me time?But she truely does no how I feel I made sure she does no in many ways? I am taking this time to work on cleaning out my house which always bothered her giving every thing my x wanted and getting her to pick it up? My x has boy friend by the way. Also making sure some one is at the house with me when they com over? I would love to have all this done when JENNY COMES BACK?

Also I think jenny gave me many sinds on this like you wrote not last but before that i had her HEART? Plus when she first started this process with x it was I can not predict the future when I asked a question something to what if we did she then evan few times said later hope i am telling my sister much she did not want to be hated and hard to work out if we got back together?

i think it will set in when she and him are alone at the house. being like you said a Her Heart is with Me from some of under lying actions and things she said to me?

plus they might end up in bed during the heat might be good but after it could be tuff what do you think? by the way I relize this might happen them sleeping together and I will acept it that might be what it takes to relize what Jeny and Me have? I WILL NO DUBT TAKE HER BACK EVAN IF THEY DO? Supose he has not changed or only tempoary what do think will happen? like he drink or worse?

also this is the weeken I think before he gets here I sure she is nervous and excited about this probaly not thinking alot about us? I think I will be thought of alot more when he gettes here and they are talking ect?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That is a good way to keep your mind off things by cleaning and you mentioned that it bothered her. You are so confident that you are preparing for her to come back in your life and I feel that is a positive sign you feel so strongly. I think you know deep down her heart is with you. When he comes back nothing is going to feel the same too her. She is going to miss so much of her life with you. Right now she is changing her whole life. I don't want you to give her too much space. I want her to know you are still there for her and still want to be with her. I would also tell her about your ex coming to pick up her stuff so she knows its over between you both.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I was blessed with 2 young men going into ministry to help me we cleaned a lot junk out in general in my shop and store rooms. they where both very hard workers so I set it up for them to move my x`s stuff packed bring it to her storage shed evan move old stuff out of one shed to a bigger one. At first was having a hard time getting my x on board she kept making excuses on why she could not. I texted Jenny after church said I wish she had been there to share it. she replied Great in one word then asked where I went to church? I told her then she text me about how she had been feeing bad in detail. I text back and told her I was there for her 24 hours a day? and also that I was cleaning out my house and all. She text back it ABOUT TIME! I said I know had to get back to work.

later that night she text me asking a question about some not about us. I called her to give a answer to her. we talked for 20 min. I told her about what was going on. All the stuff that myx was taking including the master bedroom set. Jenny where I was going to sleep said I was putting the matterass on the floor? she mad no coment about that? also told her that I was preparing my house for when The Good Lord brings her back to me? she made no comment about that either? she also made a coment during our conversation that i should have done this stuff not while we are broke up. I said the God is giving me the drive to do this? Instead of sitting on the couch depressed and sleeping alot? she said she did not understand men when you are about loose some one for ever! you all jump up and do things. such as her x selling his house she never wanted to move to and me cleaning my house? I told her I know it bothered you so I want to get it done. she said she had put it behind her months ago or she would have gone crazy?

I did tell her several times she could call me any time I am there for her 24/7. I told her several times also I do Love You and miss you! you told me to tell you the truth she said yes I did tell you to. But she never said any thing about me telling her I Love you? I feel if it was realy over she would tell me to quit saying that or something?

I am sending her a short email this morning asking about her health how she is? And also letting her know I am here for you and understand she is going through a lot right now and suport her. Telling her I do Love You! what about mentiong again about cleaning out my house should I?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Everything you said to her was perfect and when she doesn't answer your questions I feel she is speechless. What she was trying to say too you was why did you clean everything now, give your ex back her stuff. Why didn't you do this when you both were together. She is wondering why did it take you both to separate before you took these actions. But the answer is simple. You tell her that you never wanted to take the time away from her to clean your house, you wants to spend every moment with her. I feel that she felt like you were holding onto your ex's things because you were unsure whether you both were going to get back together. Most people would think you were not ready to give your ex's stuff bck because you were not ready. I feel she felt you were not over her. I would email her and explain why you cleaned the house again and ask how she is doing, tell her you are always there for her. I think she is now having regrets. Because she is basically telling you, you shouldn't have waited you should have cleaned your house before. Now she sees you making moves to change. I think she now knows your life with your ex is over. I also feel like she now knows how you feel about her.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i sent these emails this morning to here what do you think?

 

 

Hi Pooket,

 

I hope your Boils are getting better and not bothering you a lot at work! Realize they could because of where they are located and you being right handed.

 

I also enjoyed talking to you last night! J Remember I am here for you 24 hr. a day if you need me. do not worry about worry about what that you think it might not seem right to you that does not matter to Me! I am here for you I Love You!!! I understand you are going through a lot! I am here for you do Not Forget!

 

The 2 guys and Steph are all helping Trish to get everything packed and out of the house. Supposed to start at 10 am. Evan if it cannot get finished today it will be done by this week. The guys are going to help me make sure!

 

I Love You Pooket!

Your Pookie!

 

from her

It is not as painful today. I am going after work to get the packing taken out. Thanks for offering to be there for me. Great news on the house.

 

from me

Please let me know after you go to the Doctor!!

her K

 

I called the clerk of court after my first email to find out divorce status. She did ask on the phone last night what was happening on it. so that wieghed on my heart so I called.

 

then sent her this email

 

 

Subject: FYI

Hi Pooket

 

I want You to be the first to Know!! I just called the clerk of Court my DIVORCE was signed Friday it is OFFICAL NOW!

 

she wrotE back in big colorful cartoon letters

Wooo HOOO

 

Hi five to Pooket from her Pookie!!!

 

I realize should have gotten done quicker willing to eat some crow from pooket!!! For this but it is done and property being divided. All except that dang car which if she can get 15k more power her to it. I just want it all over!

 

NO REPLY FROM HER ON THIS.

Do need to still explain why now because what you wrote about my tim with her is excatly how I felt?

 

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
It seems like your divorce was something that really bothered her and she was excited about the divorce papers. I feel she thought you were not over your ex. This must have been an issue for her the whole relationship. She might have even been afraid to get attached too you thinking you would leave and go back to your e. She might have thought she was just the rebound girl. If you look at it this way. You didn't clean your ex's things out your house and didn't take the steps to get a divorce. So I feel she was always worried.. now she protected herself by having her ex around. Because she didn't want to be hurt. I want you to keep emailing. I think this helps getting to know how she feels. She is excited about the divorce papers so I can tell that is something she has waited for to happen.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

what do think of me explaining like you said about not taking care of this and why now?

 

also do you think this being stuff of mine is going to play a bigger role in when her x shows up or maybe with Gods will some reason he wont come or she will stop him?

 

also last night I tell her i was doing driven to get it done! I had prayed and God gave me the way and will to get it done also. to prepare if God brings her back to me?

 

because also remember and 2 thing she said if i would bring the ring back if Gods will and Holding my Hands looking me in the eye telling me I Do Love You!

 

also i did mentioni was standing like a oak tree she said what? I said strong firm and solid in this! she asked where I got from A strong spitrual person! i told the person who made Your Ring she said oh not evan coreccting me on the ring like refering to it as something else. and couple of time I refered to her ring she did not corect me at all?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I would explain why you decided to take care of this and why now. I think it would help her understand some unanswered questions she has had in this relationship. You expressing yourself could change things. She sees you trying so hard to bring her back too you and that is going to influence her decision. God always does things when you are ready. He prepares people for the new life they are going to have. Some times people do not always see His plan, but you cleaning and divorce papers is your plan taking action to the next step in your life. I would explain too her how you felt in cleaning the house, why you did it now, and how you know deep down everything that has happened is God's plan.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

will this make a differnce he does show up? my stuff being done?

 

last night i did on the phone tell her God is envloved. i prayed about he gave me the drive, mean and all to get this done? I was preparing it if we got back to gether I knew it realy bothered her where my word? to i need to email some more on this?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I would email more on this because it explains how God is the driving force in preparing you for her return. That He needed to prepare you for the life you both should have together. Explain that you have never been more sure about this and that you want her in hour life and that God will show us the way to have a happy life together. It is important she knows he you feel and why you did make this change to clean your house and why it was done now.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
see what you think please I thank God has me chatting with you?

 

Hi Pooket,

 

I want to say first off, I should cleaned my House much sooner I realize. To tell you the truth But I never wanted to take the time away from Pooket to clean my house, I wanted to spend every moment with my Pooket. Not realizing if I had taken the time to do this then I could have had more time with you now. I realize should have pushed harder to get her stuff out of my house. I know the stuff from her and the overall mess really bothered you that was my fault for shore. I am so HAPPY the final divorce papers came through finally and earlier than expected 2 weeks almost where supposed to be signed next week not last week! I know deep down that everything that has happened is God`s plan. He needed to prepare me for the life for us together! I have never ever been more sure about this and that Bret wants Jenny in my life forever and that God will show us the way to have a Happy life together! Also when all her stuff is gone there will be no more need for Trish and I to ever talk again for sure. God has prepared me to get this done now between the resources he put in my path and the energy he has given me along with the drive. God is Preparing myself for your return!

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That e-mail is absolutly perfect. You said exactly what you needed to say to reassure her that you are preparing for her return and gave her the confidence that God will bring you both back together. You are so confident in her return that she will also begin to think about the fact that you are the one she should be with. Even if her ex comes back I feel that she will always be thinking about what life could have been life with you and she might realize that her happiness is with you and she should leave the past in the past. I think that if you explain too her that you both need this second chance that maybe things were not perfect when you both first started. You had to go through a divorce, you had to clean out your ex's things. You had things you were dealing with, now you are a new person realizing in life exaclty what you want. You need to tell her that you both need to move on together not apart that this is meant to be and you just know it is. God knows now that you are ready and some times God shows us in the only way we will understand. You can go home every day and look at your ex's things and think nothing of it, had no desire to move the things out. Then by losing the one you love it sparks you to take action. God was showing you that your future life was worth making these changes. Now your relationship is in God's hands. He is going to make the best choice for you both.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
here is her response not good!

 

That's the problem..it's what YOU want...here's what you say:

 

I have never ever been more sure about this and that "Bret wants Jenny"

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Here is what I want you to do now. I want you to ask her what she wants. What does she want in life? What is the future she sees? What is God's plan for her? Talk about her and get her to share her emotions. I think she wants to talk about how she feels and what she wants now. If she would open up it would help to see what she is looking for in life. I know she is confused right now and has many emotions that she is holding back. This might be what parks her to talk.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

 

she has stated she does not know what the future bring cant predict?

She talk like when I touch her she does not siver or get that feeling warm feeling?

i think she is very un shure in fact maybe wanting to turn the clock back till she was phisical and stuff.

she says all she knows is God wants her happy?

she was happy it seemed with us always laughing cutting up and telling me she loved me?

i wonder about a midlife crisis she might be having?

my 19 daughter told me last night that Jenny had told her a while back that datting a man her age or older was much better? now look at 6 years younger ?

 

i think some space would be good now she knows my x is gone? also i think she is excited about her x getting here might be heart driven and take him getting here for her to wake up?

this is also all based on him being sober from drinking and drug what those chances?

 

I sent her this reply.

just wanted to let you know I was steady and not running to Trish or anywhere. You asked for me to be truthful with you.

 

no reply

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Making the statement that she can not predict the future. This is true you can not predict it but you can make the things you want in life happen, so that the future is something that you want. You talked about her not feelings shivers when she touches you, but this can get pushed aside because she has hidden feelings an issues with the relationship. This is one of the first things that happen. Feelings get blocked when their is trouble in the relationship, so those shiver feelings some times subside. But of course once problems are solved you discover your true feelings again, how you use to feel about each other. She said God wants her happy. Is she confident in what God wants her to do, is the choice she is making what God truly wants or is God showing her and proving too her that you are the one she is suppose to be with. She was happy in the relationship it seems, but seems to have had an underlying issue she never revealed. I can see this by her e-mails. I think she thinks she has to do this right now in order to move forward. She might need her ex to come out to see how she really feels. she might just think she made a mistake right away. We can predict if he has changed his ways from past drug and alcohol abuse, this is something that she will see when he gets here. She will know. I don't feel giving her space is the right things to do, I want you to focus on how she feels right now. This is a very confusing time and she needs to express how she feels. She needs to know this is about her, she is number one.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
she is the type you push and she bucks
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
she feels God is leading her so she says
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

she has said God is leading her and her heart to do this?

 

also if you presure her she will run or get mad and shutdown communication with me? almost like buck at it?

 

i feel like the next thing happens when her x shows?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
When her ex shows up things are going to change because I feel like you being on her mind all the time is going to interrupt her getting to re know he ex It is going to right away put an obstacle in front of them. It's hard to leave a relationship that you are unsure about leaving. You are making the steps to change things to get her to come back. This is all a distraction to here reestablishing her relationship with her ex. She feels her heart is guiding her right now and it could be, but the mind is more powerful in how it makes the heart feel. This relationship is something that was the past it has been awhile. A lot of the relationship was bad and a struggle. She thinks by going back she can fix the past and they can move forward together. But she has to see if he has changed. She will not know this until he gets here. She is someone that can't be pressured, so we don't want her to shut down. We want her to communicate. We have to take steps to get her to do that.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I apperciate the advise you have given. the Lord has put sevral wise christian counsel in my path for council. The word have come to me to pray she relizes the past is the past. I am evan praying for her x so he will relize this. I beleave it will be days after he arives not weeks or months. God will reveal where she belongs and that the PAST is that.

 

God has opened doors to make this happen on my side to make the much needed changes in my life and quickly helping do this.

 

me being on her mind and her knowing first hand that my divorce and x`s are cleared out of my house is a good thing? for Us to move on together?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I think she always had these thoughts about why you never cleaned out your house and why you weren't getting a divorce. I feel she could never truly let her heart open because she always feared you were not over your ex and she was going to lose you. This is why she asked you if you told your ex about the break up because I think she felt you both would get back together and she was the one standing in the way on that. Now she knows when she wants to come back she is coming back in a new situation. One that is a single man with a house she can fully be comfortable in. She also would not have that worry or you going back to your ex. I also feel in a few days she will see that things have changed and she can go back to the life she once lived cause she already created a new one. She developed feelings for you and you will be on her mind which she will not be able to fully concentrate on her relationship with him.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I had a funny feeling in my gut when she did not reply back last night and something this morning. i felt like he had made it to town do not know why just a gut sign from god he put there. her x does start work monday at his new old job who he only worked there a year I think and quit?

 

and her response to my email confirms almost sure whn she just put company in stead of who since I do know her friends and family?

 

I think this is good because If it all the feeling and they had clicked totaly she would been evan shorter on her remarks if any?

 

also the first time he might be on extra good behavior?

 

I still beleave God will reveal the past for her is the past?

 

I am also thankful my divorce came trough before he got here and my house deal?

 

 

she was not feeling good so itext her this morning what do you think?
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 8:46 AM
To: Jenny
Subject:

Hope you are feeling better under your arm? Did they have to repack it? Tried you last night to check how it went I texted you. While I was at the hospital with Stephanie. She was visiting a uncle in the hospital he is also so her God father. She has a total of 2 uncles and one cousin she calls uncle the hospital. So please say a Pray it is bothering her.

 

 

To: Bret
Subject: RE:

 

I will pray for all of Stephanie's Uncles. I had company last night so I did not go see about my arm. I am going this afternoon.

 

 

To: Jenny
Subject: RE:

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX your arm feeling? I hope better.

 

to me

I am feeling better. Thanks

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

The status say finished but your answer is not showing up. The last question never showed

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
This is good that she is answering your emails. She wasn't in contact because she had company and your email was nice asking her how she was feeling. This show her you are concerned and really care if she is feeling ok. You feel he might be there already, if he is this is a good sign she is still checking email and responding too you. He is starting his old job on Monday so he will be coming in soon. What will be interesting is how she is going to react when he comes if she doesn't respond often. This will show if she is going to give this relationship a one hundred percent chance. This is going to be such major adjustment for her. It is going to be hard to go back and try to find the feelings they once had for each other. It will not be the same and they might both discover that this relationship is really going to take time to rebuild. Make sure your emailing her everyday.you need to stay in touch so she knows you are there for her.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I know God is working on this and in His hands now I turn it over to him!

 

taking time might make her realize even more she needs to move on? Also he is younger than her he might not like this time bit he might be ready to kinds pickup where they left off? her x is younger and might want physical activivites to soon? They had a very active bed room life she has told me? she also told me many times while we talked there relationship was based on much physical bed room? it might have to happen in bed for her to realize it is over? do you think it will bother her if it does? the only real issue she and I had between us is gone? so them taking time could be good? I think she know I am here for sure more than ever with what God let me reveal before he got here my divorce and house? i am going to let her make a move and miss me my gut tells me to? she did tell me sometimes you have to be gone to know what there is? I know she knows deep down in that I am there for her? It is Gods hand now and he has it under control now. i going to give her some time to reach out to me she know I want her for sure? this also is all based he has changed from drinking and drugs. if he has not then what? i think she will tell him to leave very quick being there past and no marriage binding them?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Once he is here and he starts to settle in its going to be a huge adjustment because she has been dating you and how long it has been since he has not been around. You mentioned he is younger and he really might have changed into someone else. As you get older things you once look at are not the same. He could be a totally different person. Often times people try to go back and realize they can't because the feelings are no there any more.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
what about him and her being real bedroom orrntated and with his age testtosterone is high for this kind of action. she migth woo her in to bed like old times? which I do not agree with but will except her back still? also this could emontionaly after be tuff on her during the heat she might cave in? i also said waht if he has not change drinkin and Drugs what do you think she will do? I pray her x has changed and just moves on because of the right thing to do?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You mentioned him being younger and possibly woo her in the bedroom. But they have not had this connection in almost four years. They have not see each other and I don't feel like that connection is going to come back instantly. He could be a totally different person. They could have grown apart because them being away from each other so long some times you think you want something and find out you can't go back anymore its not the same. Thy also had a rocky relationship so not so nice memories will surface that they will have to deal with even if he changed. I don't want you to distance yourself too much from her. I want her to be able to talk too you to confide in you.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
waht about him not changing waht if that does happen? do you beleave phon talk is much different and easier?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I think you can have a great connection on the phone, establish a relationship, but in person is different. You have to deal with certain problems, adjust to how the person now lives. He also will be still learning how to stay off drugs for good. He also might not be the same person she once met. She might be thinking of how he was when they first met, but he might be a totally different person. He went to prison, is now clean. This is a whole new man. Even if he has changed her feelings for him might have changed as well. Those feelings she once had for him might not be there anymore because her feelings for you are stronger.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I had talked to Jenny the day before when I found out my dog had died I called her to let her know we talked she had to go for work. she called me back in a little bit when she finished her work call . i did tell her I Loved her very much she did not reply. i told her I missed her asked doyou miss me she said very quiet and almost she said yes she missed me. i told her I know there are some thing you have to get straight with herself she said yes. she said right now she was worried and upset of my dog. not thinking of that. we both love dogs ours where together alot she would call all of them our kids.

she wanted me to call her back when I picked him up so I did she kept asking what happened and all over and over again and was I sure? i tell her again I loved her very much. no reply? i told her i was praying she did ask me are you praying for us not to make it? I took that as her and her x. I said I was praying to God that she would relize the past is the past. she asked if I listened to God. I told her again I was sorry to call her was giving her space to think and would not preasure her but was here waiting on her. she said something like I can not expect you to wait? I told her do not worry I was going to stand like a Oak tree.

 

then yesterday I got below please let me know what you think? of it all?

To: Bret
Subject:

 

Please STOP telling your sister our conversations. I just received an email from her...

 

 

Jenny (ES)
Subject: RE:

I will STOP I told her in confidence I was so distraught over Hersey and all. I was just talking to her alone. My chest was super tight with tension and all. I do not know what she said at all. I was so worried in all that happened about Hersey that I might have been too pushy with you yesterday about you and I and what was said. I for sure do not want to make any waves. I really was giving you some space then I had to call you yesterday. I promise what Sandy thinks of you is still top notch. She really does Love you! She misses you also. Like I told yesterday she almost called you the other day when she burned herself with the heating pad causing second degree burn. The night you and I ate at Sonic I promised I was not saying too much to Sandy in case we worked out...

 

To: Bret
Subject: RE:

 

What you like to see her email?

 

 

Jenny (ES)
Subject: RE:

It up to you it was to you? I will if you like I do not want any problems or distance between you and I then we have. Please remember what you have said about Sandy in the past how she is and you understand and you like in her.

 

 

To: Bret Subject: RE:

 

Well I did not appreciate the email at all. I am not even going to respond to it. Here it is...read if you want:

 

 

Dear XXXXXny,

 

I have spent many hours each day with Bret or on the phone with him crying his eyes out. He has reached for spiritual advice to some of the Godliest people I know. He prays for your happiness, that God will reunite you and yes, he even prays for Trey's happiness. Jenny, if Bret didn't have God, the power of God and listened to God, I think he would be dead by now. I am NOT in any way trying to make you feel guilty, I love you, all our family loves you, but I think the one thing Bret has that he can depend on is the Grace of God and Hope that He promised to us. He cries for his lost love, prays for ALL concerned (Trey, too), pines for his favorite pet, Hershey; and you ask him if he is listening to God! Yes, he told me that! And, Jenny he is constantly listening.

 

Be well, be happy, trust God AND LISTEN! God can put the obvious in front of us, but we all have free will. If you are looking to go backwards, you have your X. If you want to continue building a life with someone who truly loves you and everything about you, you have your answer there, too.

 

With love from your "thought I was about to be your sister in law",

 

Jenny (ES)
Subject: RE:

Your right way to heavy please do hold against me? I told you I was not going not to be pushy and meant it for sure. I am backing off but standing like an OAK tree. I meant what my response to your earlier email said.. no excuse put Sandy was out line and should have put a much lighter email to you. She does miss you and love you very much.

 

to me

You have no idea how my family wanted to get involved when we ALL found out you were still married! but NO ONE contacted you about that.

 

This is between us. I am a grown woman, I do LISTEN to GOD & I am doing what I think is right.

 

later she emailed back a forth about my daughter and how she was doing with the death of my dog Hershey. 3or 4 times

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I am so sorry for your loss of your dog. I know how upsetting losing a animal is, it becomes one of the family and I am very sorry. Your sister has wrote to Jenny because she is hurt you are so hurt. She decided to take matters in her own hands to explain how you were feeling. You had told Jenny your sister was out of line. That was fine saying that because Jenny is hurt by what your sister said. She is hurt you are hurt over her leaving. But you have your sister who is there for you and you need to continue to talk too her because she is family and a strong supporter of you. She is there when you need to talk. It is important to talk out your feelings. It helps to work through these emotions. One thing you want to do is tell your sister I know you mean well, but please keep our conversations private. Explain that Jenny was upset over the email and that you seen the email. I'm sure Jenny is very hurt that she broke your heart. She also wants to be there because she knows you are upset over losing your dog. She is feeling your hurt. She cares about you and I want you to continue to trust in God he is going to guide you. I know that things feel so bad right now but I can tell you that things are going to get better. That your toughest days will work out and your faith in God will become even stronger.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i take as good that jenny talked for a good while and evan when I said i love and miss you she was quiet? i understand and totaly agree could you go in to more about some jenny response and non email and other wise? i also have a gut feeling by jenny asking me how I was praying was it for them not to make it struck me odd? almost like that might not be good for them or elese she could feel and tell by how her and her x where doing? I thing a another good thing is she did tell me not for me or my family to contact her ever again? plus evan the she will read it for what it is worth down the road evan though it hurt her?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
wouu expound on some of my other stuff from my questions from today besides the letter from my sister? please thanks
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She asked if you were praying for them not to make it in a relationship. She feels like you are praying against her having a relationship with her ex. But that is not what you are praying for. You should plain that you are praying and explain in detail what you are spraying for. She was silent when you told her you loved her. She doesn't want to tell you how she feels right now. She is trying to get back with her ex and she probably thinks she should not tell you how she feels. I can tell she still cares and loves you by the email. She is upset over your dog passing. She is writing to see if you are ok. She cares about what your family thinks about her. She doesn't want them to dislike her because she might come back and she will feel uncomfortable. I feel you both are going to establish a relationship and I think she doesn't want you out of her life. She really cares about you, but feels she has to give her ex a chance. The last comment she said was how her family wanted to get involve became you were married. This was obviously a major issue in your relationship. She said she is listening to God and I feel that she feels she needs to fix things with her ex. I think she feels this is God plan and that is why he put her ex in her life. But only she will know her true feelings. That was really nice and thoughtful that she asked about how your daughter was doing with the loss of your dog. I think she has a lot to think about.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Jenny called me Saturday we talked for 2 hours or more. about every thing. she said it was for colection it was some money I told her a while back I would give her. she brought up my sisters email to her and not irrate with me over it? She said she stewwed over it that it made her mad? but she deleted it and did not want to send her a email back and make my sister mad? she also asked what my daughter thaught in us and how she was doing with the death of Hesrsey? she said she hated this happened while she was here? Jenny said if it had been her and something happen to dog Al and I had left her she would be in a mental hospital for sure? I did tell her I was Praying she would relize the past was the past ready to move on? I told her I Loved her more today and I sorry if I evere took you for cranted. also told her she is my ALL and ALL. She was silent replied with nothing again? she talked alot about her and all? also told me she had slept with no sheets on the bed and had left all the stuff out i had left on the floor from a cabinet i moved when I got my stuff 2 week this tuseday? I told her I lost wieght she waht I weighed when I got my stuff which I had already lost some then. told her another 7 lbs. I asked her if she had lost any she said No? I kinda thought she would been working out preparing for her x to come? she did not want me to call her my nickname for her Pooket call her jenny which I rarely do evan at one point it sounded funny she said? i accidently let her nickmane slip a she kinda laughed as I corected my self?

 

I went to church yesterday Amen to God! during it I was thinking of wish I could run into Jenny`s best friend who is also married to Jenny`s nephew. me and him where good friends also. well they called me right as i was walking out of church I ended up going over there stayed for almost 4hrs. we talked alot they said they wanted to remain friends with me depiste what jenny might say? also they did not agree the way she was handling this at all bringing her x down so soon after us and if jenny realy did not like so many thing about me then why did she stay with me?

 

also jenny`s beast friend told jenny that email could have been worse! she said if had been her brother and all involved and women did to him she might not have been so nice? also jenny what if it was your brother?

 

jenny`s best friend told me that Jenny`s x had only been out of jail since a couple of days before he made his first call to jenny?

 

also jenny`s best friend feared that the two of them would not be as strong as it has been? i told many times that jenny had comented how important thier relationship was to her? I also told jenny`s best friend that the converstion me and jenny had sitting drinking coffee where more the real feeling of her deep inner heart? which i beleave will come out in not the to near future in jenny`s thought and descision making process?

 

his family had to drop him off at jenny`s house. his jeep was in inpound his family never hepled him get it out? he is 34 no car showed up at her house with very little and some tools to go to work?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I really think that you can wish so hard for something and then when it happens you don't really want it anymore. Jenny is going to realize what she let go to be with her ex and you need to be prepared about hos you are going to feel. What if a few months goes by and she says she wants you back? What are your feelings going to be that she realized this? You feel like you took her for granted and people don't always realize what they have until its gone. They look back and wish they should have done all these things and maybe things would have turned out different. But let me tell you this, do not live with regrets because God makes no mistakes. He has plan for you and its an amazing one. I know that you feel like you are at your worst and im here to tell you that these worse days get better and you will look back and say I made it through and life is happy. Your faith in God will become stronger because He will show you the path you are going to take.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
can you expond some on her best friend coments and her x situation only a few days out plus being dropped off? plus a little more
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Yes I can, her best friend had mentioned about him being out a few days before he called her. I really feel like he thought about what went wrong in his life when he was in prison. I feel he is trying to fix the past and feels like if he does his life will be normal again. He can correct the past mistakes, so he called Jenny knowing she was the one thing thy was always good in his life. He was dropped off because his car was impounded. I really think there are going to be problems that will arise that will come up and she will be dealing with alot I think she will need you to talk too you. She is on the phone with you and her ex is already there it already shows me she needs to talk with you. It sounds like her best friend does not agree with what Jenny is doing. She seems like your sister email she said could have been a lot worse meaning she feels like Jenny did the wrong thing as well. Her best friend knows your a good guy and she would hate to see her friend make this mistake in her life and I am sure she has told her. But Jenny will learn this on her own. If someone tells her its wrong she might try to prove them wrong so its best just to support her. Often times with friend they voice their opinion and the friendship ends because her ex might not want her best friend influencing her to leave him.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

the day before he showed we had the 2hour converstion which was good I feel?

 

also what about no car he is borrowing her to go to work she works at home.

his family did help him get his jeep out of impound strange? they do have the money to? ithink either they did not want him to have a car to drive? or some body might be looking at the car? he was doing crystal meth right before jail? also steeling goes along with needing money for it more than just pot?

 

jenny called me this morning with some bank info she talked to me for 20 min. first about the nice text she got from my sister? to about how long his family stayed maybe 20 min she said it was like a fog kinda? the she talked about trey some. she also said I should not be talking to about this i know it up setting? I said it was ok she could talk to me about anything. she told me yesterday she was shaking in side and out. she said it was kinda like when they first met? he was being very modest and allnervous. she made a coment that she told him hey its is just me just me? I know this is God working to lket them know past is past. infact i told her time will tell but you could both be at different points in life not like you all whwere before? i told her I miss her this morning she said why this morning? I restated I miss all the time she was silent? I said I Love her and miss her again. she was silent. in fact we had few silent moments on the phone she could easily ended the call? i told her i had alot to talk about but could not she said I know? i mentioned my house getting cleaned she said she be it right? i said almost there was alot of stuff though? she said I know? that when done will be Good when done to me. almost like good for her to? her voice did not sound excited like i thought if you met the man you left me for? i thought her voice was kind alost nervous and not at all excited? i wonder if she was expecting bliss att he start? and disspointed some? i am praying this uneasy will stay on and open eyes up? I think it could she does work a very stresssful job from home? which could add to the unesyness between them he might become fustrated?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
The beginning is very hard because this isn't a relationship where they are just getting back together. This is a guy that is adjusting to and old relationship, a drug problem, and just got out of prison. He has beenbeen in prison being told exactly what to do when to eat, when to shower. Its an adjustment to come out and realize you are no longer under someone control that you are free and that can be overwhelming. He also is shaking which could be different reasons. But this is a massive adjustment for him. He is battling through many obstacles in his life and she will have many things to deal with, so make sure you work with her and help her because I feel she will have moments she needs you. She might have thought it was going to be bliss but reality is he is fighting a drug addition. He has a lot on his mind. She will open her eyes because this will not be easy.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i talked to her step Dad he loves her very much she would always say i rmined her of him. she has a lot of respect for him. infact he new nothing of wht was going on that we where evan broke up. he Is a good chriatian man and will not tell jenny we talked for sure. he wants us to work it out. i stepped out to tell him not noing what wouls happen. to much of my delight he was very suportive infact whent through almost the same thing with jenny`s mom along time ago. he is going to start praying and said lets turn it over to the Lord. but said he fully beleaves this guy is bad and has not changed agreed almost like a drug to Jenny her x is, he only worry is her getting hurt bad such as one time for2 yrs she did crystal she quit by her self. he told me to call him any time for what ever. he says he will pray and see where the good lord leads him to do. but no worry about him telling her we talked at all. jenny has only told a select few about her and her x and me?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
That was nice of her step dad what a great guy, so thought full to pray and be so supportive of you. I think that Jenny has to see this situation for herself. This is not going to be an easy journey for her at all. Let me explain why. She has her life together, she quit drugs and stayed with it. He is just starting out on this and w she has already conquered this. It will be her feeling possible burdened because she has done this already. If he struggles with this she might feel frustrated that he is struggling. Plus she has over come this and she will have to relive this all over again. Its going to be hard. Her time will be spend making sure he is ok and that he can stay on the right path. That was a good idea that you reached out to her step dad, he should know what is going on as well.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

her step dad beleaves he said change many times and hos not? he says he has claimed this before in a way? on to of his struggles and her getting her life together do you think that could be good for us? do you think she might think about life with me if it is a struggle? plus her job is very stressful? this tells me something she did not share with on only a few family who might understand?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
no she was shaking not him? she kept telling him it was her he was very modest and realy nervous sonds like unsure?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
He sounds like he has a pattern. He says he is going to change, changes for a little while then goes back. She is giving him another chance and she is taking a risk if he has a pattern of saying he will change. Its going to be a struggle for him and he has to be strong enough to get through it. She also has to be strong enough for him. You mentioned her job is stressful, that isn't going to help in dealing with the snuggles he is going to have. He also has to be there for her as well. A relationship is too people working together. One supporting the other. He is going to have to lean on her a lot. She was skiing with emotions, she was nervous.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

what about only her telling certain family? like almost scared to tell for what they might think?

plus you and I have talked give me your over all please?

 

do you think their strugles will make her rilize more what we have? I will keep praying to God for Us!

 

i beleave that when this settles down some she will realy think more about she and I do you agree? and the main thing was my divorce and x s stuff?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
I believe she keeps a lot of her life private. She tells who she is comfortable with and trusts. She doesn't like certain people knowing certain things. I also feel like she didn't think yours and her life were a struggle, I think she was always thinking you were going to go back to your ex that you were holding on to memories like you wished you both would get back together. I don't think Jenny realized how much you loved her until she said her ex could come back. There struggles. Will make her realize how easy life was with you and she didn't ever have to worry about anything when you were goth together. I feel like at night when she rest her head on her pillow she will think about you and the life you once had because this will be her time where she will get to think. It will be her quiet time. She might also think of you while at work when she is stressed and know you have always been there for her. She has a lot of time to think and she will be thinking about the life you both once had, but she might be nervous to talk too you about her ex but make sure you keep open lines of communication and understanding. Be there for her. I think she will realize that the life she chose will be tougher.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

She is very private. But did not want to tell people who would confront her in this and certain family might due to knowing what she went through? funny you bring up comfortable with us while talking saturday she made a coment we pretty much got to do what we wnted? her best friend said several times about stablibilty and finances to me she thought it was not fair if jenny came back for that? i said she was wrong we had more than that and as long as she came back then we could build from there? do you agree? and i think alot of questions her friend asked where quetions she and jenny disscussed?

 

Do you think in all it looks pretty good for us? several people have used a base ball anolgy 2 strijes 3 balls and two outs for her x? i think just her talking to me about her uneasy ness with them from Sunday is Good. also I believe the talks she and i had on the back porch over coffee will pay off? i think the things she liked my age, stability and grounded are important to her maybe not at the moment because of the whirl wind she is riding right. my daughter said just a couple of weeks before this jenny had said she liked a man her age or one like your dad much better. jenny said older men fit much better with women there age or a little younger. I i told her today it was ok to talk about any thing? i told her Saturday I did not realize how much I really Loved her till Now! also I probably took her for granted sometimes and that wont happen again. also she is my ALL and ALL! she was silent but I know she took it in? i have to believe her core belief's will come back to the top?

 

also wht about still making coments about my x cleaning her stuff out which I told her today was almost done she said good? like you say i think this has been a issue evan though she says it has not?

 

another strange thing 2 weeks before this she asked after my x an i finished with all our stuff whould talk to my x? in fact she almost said for me no need to? kinda strange

 

of course her best friend said my x had no play in this put while i was getting stuff at jenny`s jenny brought up her name several times?

 

i do not think she tells all to her best friend like her best friend thinks she does?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Her best friend mentioned about ti would be wrong if Jenny comes back for stability and financial. I don't feel that is why she would come back. I think the reason ill be because she realism she is suppose to be with you. That she loves you and misses the life you both had together. You don't always share everything with your best friend. If Jenny is a private person then she would not share everything with her. You share more wight he person you are in a relationship with. You ex has been a major issue of Jenny's I still feel it still is an issue. I think she is probably pretty nervous with her coming to your house to pick up her stuff. I think you and Jenny will continue to talk and she will see what she once had and miss it. She might want to escape from the life she has now and possible come running back too you. That was really good that you tilde her how you felt that you didn't know your love for her until now. Now you know how much you love her. Also you said you might have took her for granted at times. We don't always realize what you have until its gone. You realized Jenny was what you wanted, but do not have regrets because I feel this was something God needs to show you. Jenny also needs to see that what she once had with her ex has changed. You and Jenny had a lot in your relationship, I feel you both still love each other and I don't feel it was just about stability I think your ex was the main issue for her fully giving you her heart.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i know God is working on this right now!!!

 

i do not beleave it will be months and months or year! i fully beleave it will not take as long as one might think?

 

her best friend told me my x was not a issue infact that i tied to use guilt againist her jenny siad of my x. i beg to differ she asked to many time about my div and my x.

 

you think she still thinks of my x a worries some evan with her x there?

 

infact like i put in a question to you about me not talking to my x jenny and i talked about nort to long before all this happened i told her i would not have reason? infact she almost told me?

 

jennys best friend evan told me she thinks if my house had been rented she would have not kicked me out with no place to go? makes m e go mmm?

 

sevral time she told me while we going through this you have to let go to get back. and giving her space could make her miss me?

 

also her talking to me yesterday and telling me about my sisters nice text? ment someting i beleave jenny evan told me she replied with a smiley and a thanks so more than once she has made sure i new she wanted to let me know she was ok with my sister? when you consider her coments saturady?

alittle more about not wanting to tell her step dad about us or her x? he knows the relationship that jenny had with her x? he told me he beleaves her x has not changed and said similar thing before to her? jenny always tells me she has looked up to him and valued his opion alot? i think if she told him he would tell her it is amistake to go back to him taking me out of the picture? he told me he putting it in the Lords hand and knows he is working on it!

 

i thought i would talk to her step dad regular but having second thoughts? knowing jenny might get mad and you never know? i plan on telling him athis what i put i for sure do not want jenny any futher from me and make her mad is not what I want to do. not that i do like talking to him but not now? we will both work it with the Lord from our own ends.

 

her step dad is worried that her x could drag her down and all back to drugs? he fears a little for her well being in general maybe not her x persay but would hurt her? but he might get her back on drugs or whho knows why he is down here?

 

i have had several people say hope nothing bad happens like people looking for him?

remember he did steal for money and was on drugs? also no vehicle kinda odd why his family did not hepl him get it? who knows?

 

plus her best friend and jenny`s told me they googled her x by cit state and name?

i did tell them i did the sametill after they told me. we both got the snme results though.

it came up in his home town cithy blog some one looking for him sevral months ago? 2 replies one saying a pot head the other that he was in brickley the name of prison?

i made a mistake of confronting jenny when she first told me several weeks ago? she did not beleave me in fact told her x he wanted to know where i did not remember i said? i am way past that this is when i got mad a first. i know getting mad is not good but i quess it could also let her know i did care and would bothered her more if i would taken this laying down?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
for some reason my last questions are show ing up with a answer but closed out answer and another waiting on you? the one i sent at 9:29 today till i sent this note
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Jenny could realize fast that the life she chooses will effect her for the rest of her life. I wonder if she felt she needed to help her ex that she didn't want to desert him when he needed help. Jenny seems too me like a very kind and considerate person that would help someone that needed it. You mentioned about her friend saying if your house was rented Jenny wouldn't have you leave. I think Jenny felt like she had to give him chance cause she felt bad if she didn't. I feel Jenny was always worried about your ex and that Jenny didn't tell her friend how worried she really was about your ex. I think your ex was something that was on her mind when you both were together. I think it was a major problem. I feel Jenny didn't get to the point of letting herself fully fall in love because she was afraid you would go back to your ex. That was good your sister sent a nice text because it shows Jenny she can come back and your sister will support you both. You could check in with her step dad every once in awhile to see how he is doing and show him how much you care about Jenny. Her ex might have needed to leave where he was from because he felt he needs to start over that if he stayed he might continue to not change. It was better for him to leave that environment to get a better second chance. He will have a fresh start in a new area. This gives him a better chance. Jenny has to see if he has changed only she is going to know. You wan to try not to tell Jenny much about her ex because she might get upset and not believe you like with looking him up online. You want to let him tell her.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

what about her not wanting to tell her step who she always said rasied her and like a father? infact she he and I that she we rinded her alot of each other and she liked that? do think she could not want to tell him because he might be one who would be dissapointed and tell her she was making a mistake to her?

 

i know shw is 40 but if he was dissaponteneted that would bother her big time I think she always talks highly of him?

 

her step dad knows her x got her hooked and woried about this agaain?

 

he told me jennys`s mom went back to jennys dad so he has been through the same thing?

 

he says wait and pray the Lord will lead her back?

do you still think she might wake up and realize she was wrong and come back to me?evan feeling maybe sorry for him?

 

i BELEAVE IN MY hEART AND SOLE SHE WILL BE? Our 2 only big problems my div are done and my house is almost comletly empty of my x s stuff?

 

in fact the weekend I brought her the ring I told her I wOULD TAKE HER BACK OR SOMETHING SHE SAID SHE MIGHT NEED A LITTLE TIME LIKE NOT RIGHT AS HE PULLED OUT THE DRIVE?

 

OVER ALL GIVE ME YOUR OPION?

 

BY THE WAY I SENT HER MY DOG HERSHEY WHO DIED HEART GAURD BY MAIL. because when I bought it it was for all out dogs knew she did not have any?

 

SHE SENT ME EMAIL HOW THOUGHTFUL THAT WAS. I ASKED DID SHE READ THE NOTE AROUND THE BOX SHE SAID HARD TO READ YOUR WRIYING LOL... I REPLIED WITH WINK EYEBALL MU AND LU. DiD YOU UNDERSTAND POOKET NOW. THEN SECOND ONE YOUR OAK TREE (Pookie in waiting) no reply but this was right after 5 maye he got home?

 

jenny`s best friend does tend to cry wolf or get hyped up first before thinking? so i do not know if the bit about my house and rented when that cane up or excatly?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
She might of wanted her step dad to know about her ex because she knows how he feels about him. She probably felt he would have had an opinion on her bringing him back. She wanted to do what she felt was right and she didn't want to be influenced by her step dad. Jenny is going through right now a major adjustment. She has to learn all over again about what type of person her ex is, it will take time to get comfortable. I feel she will be thinking about what she left behind and the life she once had specially if things get tough. There will be days that will be hard for her. You mentioned she had a stressful job and then she has to come home to this new life that they both have to work on together. That was really ice about the heart guard. She appreciate that kind gesture. That was you taking the time to kn what she needed. That was very nice. Its really good that you both are still regularly talking. This shows me that her focus is still o you and still wants you in her life. Her time is not being spent with just him. She is also talking too you.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

could you expand on coming back to me evan if she feels sorry for him from my question above?

 

plus her step dad and me being so much a like and she liked that?

 

i talked to her step dad today for a good while we are going to have dinner next or the week after he lives 1 hr away? He has also turning it over to the Lord? told me he will pray about it but is going to talk to Jenny face to face not letting her know he knows about us. infact maybe asking her if we all could go to dinner? he told me will not let her know but will find out the x living at her house? he will tell her how he feels for sure? what do you think of This? her step told me and has in the past told jenny i was the best thing that hasppened to her?

 

he told me her x realy does not like down here and would much rather where he from?

he beleaves if he could found some where elese safe up home he would be there?

and not getting his jeep out there is more to that than we know? he belevaes she is being conned and inturn conning her self. by the thing she has told me and her actions.

 

he totaly beleaves she will be back to hang in there?

 

infact he said i want you to come to my house? i said i did not want jenny to know i was there and drive her away more? he told her mom will not like her x is back for sure? jenny and her mom are fight have been for a while mainly from her moms side say her kids do not call? he thought this might be a good time to patch this up between them so they could talk? in the past jenny has valued her opion also? they where very close infact when we first dating jenny could not wait for her mom, step dad and sister who lives 1.5 hrs away to meet me. she has told the sisster we broke up but over her not loving me like she should? not about her x at all?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
it says finished put none my questions where ansered from above?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Her step dad is someone that she values is opinion and you mentioned that she feels you are like him. That is a good sign because she likes her step dad. You wanted more advice on her coming back and feeling sorry for her ex. Right now her ex needs her. He made the decision that JENNY is th person that can help him change his life. They have been through tough times and their relationship ended. Now they feel they can have a second chance. She now knows how you feel about her and knows how she feels about you, but the past is keeping her from moving forward. I think its a great idea to have dinner with her step dad and even have you, Jenny and her step dad to have dinner together. I think this would help change her mind. You have to think of this as well. Her ex is someone they don't want Jenny with, you are someone they want to see with Jenny. It makes things so much easier when your family and friends approve of who your dating. Now what is going on with Jenny and her mom?
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

no it will not be me and jenny i am almost sure. her step dad is going to ask her and me to dinner through her? but of course she will have to male a excuse or tell him we broke up? i am sure she will leave off the fact of her x to him? he sais he will go not letting her know he knows? but will find out some how what is going escilayy with him livivg there at her house? now they feel a second chamce thet have? but what about our feeling for each other will they play alrole some where?

 

her mom and jenny used to talk a lot but her mom claims jenny does not call her? jenny just the opsite? Her mom got her feeling hurt jeeny did not call her? i think they are both being stuporn on this? i have tried to get jenny to call her mom very hard to do? the use to be real close infact her step dad and mom drove 9hrs and met jenny in motel jenny gave them her littlr dog to take home because problem with her and trey?

 

i fully beleave he un finished bussiness up home for some reason to strange of things? he could owe money to some one for drugs? Like when getting out of jail he did not go stay at his place that has acres and horses. he went to stay with his sister in another city? he lives in a small town his sister in a major city?also he went to jail for steeling copper which is a sign you owe some one drug money or to buy it? his family not getting his jeep out just dropping him off at her place? only staying 20 min and leaving she told me she was close his family at one time? rember she has not seen them in a good while? i would want to catch up on thing atleast some?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
First I would like to talk about Jenny and her mom. Often times when you back away from a close family member there is a problem. It could be problem between her and her mom or it could be a problem with Jenny and the closest person in your life some times can be the one you avoid. The reason is because deep down your hurt and you know if you are around the person that knows you best you know they will see your hurt. I do think there is a problem and there is a reason why she doesn't call her mom. She backed off for a reason. The thing with Jenny is if no one likes her ex, you might see her pull away from everyone thinking she needs to just be with him and no one understands. This you don't want to happen because then she will feel alone. If you are supportive then she will always go to you. Her step dad is going to ask her to dinner to see what she says about you and her ex. I think this is good so Jenny can talk how she feels. I feel her ex didn't go back to his old life because he was afraid to go back to his old life. There was nothing left for him there anymore. He didn't want to be reminded of the past. The jeep was something he probably owed too much money on in the impound and could afford to get it out. They only stayed 20 minutes because they probably wanted him and Jenny to get settled he might of asked them not to stay long. When Jenny goes out to dinner with step dad she ail have to explain a lot too him about what is going on.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

i know sevearal time in your answers you felt like she could realize and come back to me evan running? do you still think that? also do think she could be caught up in new ness of this all and when life seltles down she realy will consider what she is doing? more the life we had or could have vs her x? his family has enough money could got it out i am sure a could way back but did not almost like for some reason leaving with out wheels? jenny and i had a talk way back I told her he was most probally a fellon? she said know he was not in fact this was not on his record? A good buddy of mine works for the sherriffs department he evan works with the DARE program here which is drug and achohol awareness for kids. he told me that burgerly was a fellon was automatic fellon and theft over $300 was also and 72 days in jail had to be way more than 300? my friend told it has to be on his record for sure van a speeding ticket goes on there?

my friend also crystal meth is one the hardest drugs to kick remeber her x has been doing it 10 plus years maybe stopping for short times that it? my friend said most probally from what he has seen when her x gets out about a month or so some money in his pocket he will go back? unless he is in after care program 72 days in jail is not rehab for sure?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Her ex will be battling a drug addition for the rest of his life. If e has been on drugs for ten years, that is something that he will struggle with every day that he wakes up. But he does have Jenny who will support him through tough times. They might of left the jeep just for him to have a fresh start. What her ex is doing is coming out of prison trying to find his way to a fresh start. He is trying to forget the past and have a second chance that he messed up with jenny, he is trying to get his life back. But its very hard to forget the past. Just coming out of prison is an adjustment. You go from someone telling you when to eat, shower, go outside. To freedom. This is difficult because now your standing on your own. He now has Jenny to help him through this and without her it would be very difficult. Jenny most likely doesn't know everything that is on her ex record. That is for him to tell her if and when he is ready. She might not want to know and wants him two move forward not thinking about the things he has done.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
do you think still she when he and her setttle down some the newsness wears off or the time get tuff? jenny might realy miss her life with me? and re considder us evan turn to me?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
Right now and they are in the beginning stages of a relationship even though they have been together before. It is still is very new. Once he gets comfortable his normal personality will come through. It might be a personality she doesn't even know he is a different person now off of drugs. She will miss her life with you that is normal. She might decide that she wants her life back with you. I want to make sure you are in contact with her. Make sure she knows you are still there.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

jenny email me yesterday have not herd from her since last week?

 

 

From: XXXXX, XXXXXny [mailtoXXX@XXXXXX.XXX]
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:49 PM
To: Bret Malcolm
Subject:

 

Hello,

 

I have received a few text from Sandy about Howard. Is he OK???

 

How are you (& Steph) doing?

 

 

Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 3:25 PM
To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)
Subject: RE:

Hi Pooket,

 

He is doing better has spent a lot of time in bed some ruff nights.

Sandy loves you I know very much still!

My cousin mike with the heart was doing Great till the other day he was not feeling good they went to local hospital. The had to rush him to NOLA. He is getting better now.

 

I am ok work has been ruff for me!

 

I went for my annual checkup today my weight last year was 259 down to 232.5lbs now.

 

Steph is working still talking about Josh a lot.

 

Ok can I be honest with you or should I be quiet?

 

How are you doing?

 

 

Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:19 PM
To: Bret Malcolm
Subject: RE:

 

What is going on with Howard...fell off the wagon?

 

I hope Mike is doing OK.

 

Steph needs to be careful around that boy! He is older than her!

 

That is good on your weight. I can tell I have lost some. Trying to eat healthy especially at night & starting to exercise. But I have not gotten on a scale so who knows!

 

I want to lose 50-60 lbs. I need too!

 

I am doing pretty good. Work is still work and I am staying very busy.

 

 

To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)
Subject: RE:

Yes Howard fell off the wagon big time! He had it ruff stayed up for nights throwing up.

 

I think mike is doing better they are adjusting his meds

 

I keep telling steph to be careful!

 

I am want to be more aractive Oak tree... you know at yogi was up to 258 my coal is 200lbs

 

I miss you very much Pooket!!!!!!!

 

 

To: Bret Malcolm
Subject: RE:

 

Howard is going to kill himself if he doesn't stop!

 

I haven't drank in probably 3 weeks now...thatwill also help me lose a lot of weight...drinking adds so many lbs that I definitely don't need.

 

 

To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)
Subject: RE:

I am sorry Pooket I just wanted to hear your voice!! Not trying to be pushy at all! Can I ask you something?

 

 

To: Bret Malcolm
Subject: RE:

 

I am not on the phone but I am not alone so not a good time to call right now.

 

What do you want to ask me?

 

 

To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)
Subject: RE:

You told me to be tuneful always with you.......... I Love You very much...

 

Do you miss me?

 

 

To: Bret Malcolm
Subject: RE:

 

What is 'tuneful'? I wouldn't use a word like that- I don't even know what it means..haha

 

 

To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)
Subject: RE:

Hey type-o you know me...lol

 

I miss our bonding and being retarted together the other part of my ESPN!!!

 

To always tell you the truth!! I love You Pooket.....

 

No reply to my?

 

 

To: Bret Malcolm
Subject: RE:

 

You will always hold a special place in my heart- there's no doubt about that.

 

I have thought about you & wondered what you were up to & how you were doing.

 

That's really all I can say.

 

A black Lab came to the front door the other night. My front door was open, I could see it through the glass...I thought it was Hershey coming back in another life!

 

The kids went nuts!

 

 

To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)
Subject: RE:

Is it all you expected so far?

 

 

I am just seeing your emails this morning. You ask 'is it all I expected so far?'

 

It is an adjustment and things are not as acqward as they were when he 1st got here. I was used to being with you for over a year and you are 2 completely different people. Not anything bad at all, just different. We are both doing things that we did not do in the past and/or had stopped doing. Our marriage ending was not 100% his fault; I had faults too.

I can tell he is really trying; he is a different person in a better way. I guess only time will tell.

 

I DO care about your well being and want the best for you.

 

I forgot to ask...how is Callie Joe doing?

 

I hope work is not too 'ruff' (as you spell rough-LOL!).

Jenny S. Jones

after i recieved this email this morning I was driving so I decided to call jenny.

we talked alomost a hour on the phone. about all kinds of stuff. i evan brought up the ring i had for her she said a ring was not that important. evan denies saying if in Gods will would I bring the ring back she she may have said if in Gods plan. she told me i hear what i want to hear alot. I think she is justifing her actions to her self?

 

she also told me she did not expect to just wait for her? i told I was going to if God wnted me to move on he will help me? but i am standing still like a oak tree for her she ok! i then said maybe Pookie will be reborn one day she kinda laughed! i also told her i was a phone call away she told me you better answer your phone? i did tell her I love you and I miss you!

 

i asked what her labor day plans where it is to go to arkansas to get some of his things. she said she needed to help him?

 

I think he kinda prayes on nieve women lookes for there help and controls them some in his own way?

 

also I think there is codependent between them?

 

i did tell who knows you and trey could on for happy? or this could be something you have to do to move on with me? she said it could be!

 

i beleave him going to get his stuff could hep get thinks moving more to see what is realy happening with them on a day to day? or if he has realy changed or is this a front of some sort?

 

i beleave there is more going on with them then she says to me not near as comfortable as it might look on the out side? he might be some of it who knows?

 

 

my email to her after we talked no reply?

 

Hi Jenny (AKA Pooket),

 

You made my morning more than you realize! JJ Just hearing your voice was awesome….

 

M/U @ L/U

Bret ( your Own Oak tree and if in Gods plan could be reborn one day your Pookie)

 

like my pastor told me it is almost like I am her white knight in waiting to ride in and rescue her!

 

she know i am stable secure here and grounded?

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
It should be very interesting if she goes back to get his things, he will act different because he is in his home place. I think its great you are both talking, its almost like you both are rebuilding a relationship. You might see Jenny just look at her ex as a friend that she will help, but then decide to move forward with you. You both talked for an hour on the phone. What this shows me is that she cares about you and has not fully focused on her relationship with him. If she was she would not be on the phone with you and emailing you. She still wants you in her life.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

back to my last qestion can you expand on sme of her emails to me?

 

also them going to get some more of his stuff?

 

if i talk about certain things she tends to get a little testy and says why all the question? i am realy not asking any hard question just making conversation?

 

she called me today to let me know how her dads test results came out. which she fears the found some more cancer in him and not sure how they will treat him?

 

but she told me in almost excat words i just wanted to call yoy abou my Dad?

 

she has i always said i am good with medical stuff?

 

it was kinda short though call may 20 min?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i asked above questions it is showing no edit to them like answere but no ansers.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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