from what I understand she says they talk like they used it is familiar. to me this means he has not changed because of there conversations. I went to pick up my final load of stuff including furniture. i picked up my mattress it was new and nice. She made a comment it would not be right sleeping on the bed. while loading she told me several times She Loved Me and even held both of my hands looked in my eyes. i made a comment I would wait for her in Heart I told you are coming back to me. she said if it did not work I might be hooked up with my x. by the way when I mention I had talked to my x later in the conversation as i moved stuff. She was like did you tell her I had to based on property and did do to house hold stuff I might need. She was upset like do not tell not want her business out. plus several other time during the move she mentioned my x would cause me problems. Maybe this will open her eyes some towards us and make her think. I asked is he moving she does not know. also I told her I was a call away if she needed me she appreciated that she said. also I told I realize she has to deal with this before we can go forward for life. I told her we might not see each other again she said I am sure we will. right before i left we where leaning on the corner of the counter looking into each other eyes she did tell me she loves me again. also she said earlier i might have to be cone to make her realize us and what she had. she text me on the way home Thank u for being understanding. I appreciate it more than u realize. I did write a Love letter and give it to her last night. I think security will play big I have at my job and work constantly the he does he has a shaky job record. Doy think he will be compared to me? also will it affect her and him that the house she has I lived in with her no other man did?
I have told her I am only aphone call away she realy apperciated that she said. You can tell she is very unsure from her overall action and this is tearing her apt us breaking up. She did tell me they where both nervous about seeing each other. Also she said he might what he sees now. That might be true they have been 3.5 years seeing each other. She forty but looked diiferent back then she still actrive very much. Her work stress does show also she has gained some weight went from 6 to 12 - 14 now. He says does not matter. Also wrote a email her sayin Heavy on my Heart after praying to her I woke at a very odd hour 3:30 could not sleep. I prayed about no eny towards trey her x. I signed off Pooket Love is all Giving. I let you go but know God is going to bring us back together as One in Time. Do you think she and I living in her house together will make it tuffer on Her and Him. it was a house she just bought before me. I still had my own house during the time. Also why does she keep bringing up my x to see if we have talked and if I told my x about she and I breakup. When i do say i talked about some propery divoerce stuff she kinda gets fired up Also jenny has said that my x would cause me problem be best not totalk to her. through this strange.
I have thought and prayed to God. Yes I would I will take her back. I wrote her Love is all giving. When moving my stuff completely out. I had to let her go to get her back. Also I realize she needs to do this before we take the next step. So we can move on and she can put this behind her and move on. she just smiled a little at me. I told her I will be waiting on you. She said it might be to late then my x might be back. I reassured her I was standing firm on us. I have decided in my mind and Heart I am standing steady like a oak tree. In my mind I have desire to go with my x at all. She told me point at her self her x might not like how she looks now after 4 years. He says that does not matter but it could right? I think on the surface and heart she is being driven to do this. But her gut is saying other and will not work. Her x is moving down here 9 hrs from his home town to be with her. He talked and played with her. Then got a job not telling her he was looking or planning on moving. the called her hey i am moving to be with you. I think he is starting life down here because of his past up home. An took a shot called Jenny we were not married yet played on it. She is sold he has changes since jail 72 day which she told me I asked how long he had been out she said she did not know. he needs her i think allot now and got her thinking the same in confusion. He is really play her heart string and pushing buttons on her. If me I would driven down to go to dinner before moving here after 4 years of not seeing each other. She says talking on the phone it was like old and she noes what he looks like. it almost sound like she is telling me put convincing her self also?
My x realy only came in when after x called and all this started.
( i have told her many times I am not going back to her. Infact I said some thing like I am not going back because x and you are for reason and she said Bret your x and you faught alot. she now says most of the fight where because she is hot tempered now she has setlled down? which I question first i have seen her get fired up espicialy depends who to also do not different people bring the hot headed out more in each other? infact the other day sent a email my final divorce where papers where on the judges desk waiting to be signed she did not reply? i want you to read the email she sent me back on 7/27 which is first the letter he sent is second please read?
(I am sorry things are like they are. I can't question what God has in my plans. He has our lives planned from Beginning to End and I have to believe he has good in store for me.
This is something I have to do so I don't go on for the rest of my life wondering 'what if'. If it is a mistake, then it is God's intention for me to finally let this go & it is MY mistake to make. I truly believe God has everything to do with this.
Please take care of yourself. I know this is hard on both of us.)
I want you to read what Trey sent me after we talked so long last week. It's important (to me) for you to see what he wrote so you understand.
A lot of what he puts in his email are the exact same things you tell me...so now you can see why I was confused.
I never thought he would come back in my life with everything I had waited so long to hear; never thinking I would ever hear! It just came too late.
I Love You Pookie!
I just spoke to you and I am on cloud nine. I feel like a teenager again. I can't stop smiling. Thank you for accepting my call. I truly wasn't sure if you would want to talk to me. My hands were shaking when we spoke.
I have so much on my mind and just need to get it out on paper. I realize that you have a new life. I don't want to selfishly send you this risking putting you in a confusing situation. Nor do I want to make things weird for us. I don't want you to spend a minute worrying anymore than you already have over me. I know I have caused you so much pain and you truly deserve the best. I am so sorry for treating you like anything but a princess.
You are my everything. You are the only true love I have ever had and always will be. You are the only person I can seem to think about.
I don't think it's healthy to keep feelings bottled up and would hate to spend another minute of my life without you knowing how I feel.
You deserve the truth and an explanation of my actions when we divorced. I'm not excusing my behavior, but was getting so many mixed signals from so many directions. I wasn't seeing my wife on a regular basis, Kari was literally throwing herself on me, I wasn't sure if you really loved me anymore, I felt like Rachel needed me, I was drowning and didn't know what to do. I'm not the strong willed person you are. You are the only person who has been able to get me out of my ruts, but you weren't there, which is my fault.
Moving to Marianna after all you had done for me was selfish on my part. I should have never asked that of you. I asked way too much from you. You made my life complete in Baton Rouge, but I was too blind to see how good I had it. I just wanted to be near my family and have you here with me. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I lost my way, but now I see things clearer. I have been in Marianna near my family, but saw them even more when I was in Baton Rouge. Instead, I lost the love of my life.
I cannot imagine life without you. I know that we were to meant to be. We had such a sweet love together. It was very real, not just something I was comfortable with, not just someone to fill a spot, not just someone to have sex with. You are much more than that. I have never met someone so kind, witty, smart. I could go on and on. You light up a room when you walk in. My family loves you also. You are just a loveable person Jenny.
I am truly happy that you have found someone that makes you happy. If I can only have you as a friend, then I will take that if it's all I can get. The last thing I want to do is cause you and Bret any stress, but want you to know you are on my mind and I am always here for you.
I miss seeing your beautiful face and hope that one day I can wake up to it forever. Jenny, I love you so much.
I want to say thanks and i taking all your reply in making one out of them in my mind.
i still lean on that i beleave his family had alot to do with this move? I also think that a man Claiming spirtuality by quoting scrpiture to her. if he realy is change and a man of God when he found On the first call we where together he should back off and not wrote the letter? alos He has been working odd electrical job for family friend no real world contact like a full time real job? To see if he realy quit drinking and drugs stress? and unknown time he has been out of jail? it was only 72 day most rehabs are longer? She said many times she realy enjoye our conversations we both work stressful fob in corp wold and could realte she like. He could not relate as much she would say? now of course no problem> she also said we had a lot of the same thought proccess due to our work and over all mind set. Infact I was much more like her first x she would say in may ways 3 years older and mind set she like that alot? now? and she like our age difference because men mature later she would say? now only age no problem. what about now saying it was her fault they faught so much? I have reasured very much I wa here and going any anywhere was a phone call away but one day it could come to us never being able to talk again but that time was not now for sure?i told after we are somhow going to reuninte Pookie and Pooket? i also beleave she would tell me to quit using i love you if it was realy over. in my heart I think her x will come down and some how they will relize hey this was great but? also would not a 34 year old man want more than 1 kid who his first x has? and the 13 year old daughter refuses to see him because of action he did after jenny and trey divorced? like hold his first wife down while she through a fit and daughter saw? jenny want s no kids she never had any and to late tried in eralier time but no luck?
she is still send me follow up email this tell stuff like this me after we broke up. I am on her mind alot also. I fully beleave she will come back it moght be with a torn heart or just relizing the stabilty and what we have is more mature for later in life. i sent his one to her the other night at 3:30 am after i PRAYED
Subject: On my Heart Heavy
Hi Pooket. I woke about 45 min still can't sleep I am will try in a min. I just finished praying for Sandy she is going through a lot with things at home. In fact when I dropped of Peter. I went in to see her she was in bed. We talked a lot about her problems she really needed to unload. While Praying I prayed about us and got a peace. From God letting me know not to worry. He has us under control in His time. I prayed about not having any envy towards Trey. Pooket. Love is all giving! I let you go but know God is going to bring us back together as One in time!
From Jenny later the next day. she had already earlier that day.replied hoping my sister was okay.
No! & I was so hungry for a hamburger! He wanted Taco Bell (yuck! I wasn't in the mood for that at all).
I prayed very hard on the way to get my dad this morning. Asking for God to send me a SIGN that he hears me (which I know he does & should NOT question) but I just needed some SIGN that he is working in some way to help me get through all of this. Did he EVER answer me! See what happened below:
We get in the room where all the chemo patients are (all in recliners; about 25 patients, plus nurses etc..). There are always volunteers in the chemo area handing out snacks/juice. Today they were there from Healing Place Church.
The Minister was also there today & he came up to me with a lady who was volunteering from the church. I was just sitting there reading a book.
His name was Sergio & he was visiting from San Diego.
He asked if they could pray with me. Out of all the people in the room; probably a total of 45...they picked me...they prayed over me, saying a prayer for my Dad & then said:
"Jenny has things she thinks are bigger than her right now" & "nothing is too big for the Lord to take care of".
I got chills & my eyes filled up with tears. It was truly an amazing experience! I thanked him with tears starting to roll down my face. I said I REALLY needed this right now.
I feel like this was the SIGN I was asking for. Of all the people in the room & this Minister being there from CA today to pray over me. GOD is so powerful!
i replied back to her above telling I love her and will be there for her. she wrote me back this email a little later.
I have NEVER had anything like this happen to me & I need this now more than ever! This is honestly the hardest thing I have been through in my entire life.
I know God is hearing me, guiding me, & will take care of me. I am 100% certain of that.
I felt like God was speaking to me directly through this Minister. It was almost like an outer body experience. I truly can say I felt moved!
I do beleve she and I had a very tigh relationship ?She did look me in the eye the other day and tell me. she loved me and did this more than one time. first off they have not evan seen each? i think i will play a part in this some how on how she looks at him and taking a chance on hime realy changing? also us and loosing me for real to some else. but I am praying to GOD and he has given me signs and words from Godly council. that do not worry it will work and to be like a Oak tree steady for her?
I was holding off calling her or emailing for a while? I was giving her space to miss me some? She did hint a few times give me time?But she truely does no how I feel I made sure she does no in many ways? I am taking this time to work on cleaning out my house which always bothered her giving every thing my x wanted and getting her to pick it up? My x has boy friend by the way. Also making sure some one is at the house with me when they com over? I would love to have all this done when JENNY COMES BACK?
Also I think jenny gave me many sinds on this like you wrote not last but before that i had her HEART? Plus when she first started this process with x it was I can not predict the future when I asked a question something to what if we did she then evan few times said later hope i am telling my sister much she did not want to be hated and hard to work out if we got back together?
i think it will set in when she and him are alone at the house. being like you said a Her Heart is with Me from some of under lying actions and things she said to me?
plus they might end up in bed during the heat might be good but after it could be tuff what do you think? by the way I relize this might happen them sleeping together and I will acept it that might be what it takes to relize what Jeny and Me have? I WILL NO DUBT TAKE HER BACK EVAN IF THEY DO? Supose he has not changed or only tempoary what do think will happen? like he drink or worse?
also this is the weeken I think before he gets here I sure she is nervous and excited about this probaly not thinking alot about us? I think I will be thought of alot more when he gettes here and they are talking ect?
I was blessed with 2 young men going into ministry to help me we cleaned a lot junk out in general in my shop and store rooms. they where both very hard workers so I set it up for them to move my x`s stuff packed bring it to her storage shed evan move old stuff out of one shed to a bigger one. At first was having a hard time getting my x on board she kept making excuses on why she could not. I texted Jenny after church said I wish she had been there to share it. she replied Great in one word then asked where I went to church? I told her then she text me about how she had been feeing bad in detail. I text back and told her I was there for her 24 hours a day? and also that I was cleaning out my house and all. She text back it ABOUT TIME! I said I know had to get back to work.
later that night she text me asking a question about some not about us. I called her to give a answer to her. we talked for 20 min. I told her about what was going on. All the stuff that myx was taking including the master bedroom set. Jenny where I was going to sleep said I was putting the matterass on the floor? she mad no coment about that? also told her that I was preparing my house for when The Good Lord brings her back to me? she made no comment about that either? she also made a coment during our conversation that i should have done this stuff not while we are broke up. I said the God is giving me the drive to do this? Instead of sitting on the couch depressed and sleeping alot? she said she did not understand men when you are about loose some one for ever! you all jump up and do things. such as her x selling his house she never wanted to move to and me cleaning my house? I told her I know it bothered you so I want to get it done. she said she had put it behind her months ago or she would have gone crazy?
I did tell her several times she could call me any time I am there for her 24/7. I told her several times also I do Love You and miss you! you told me to tell you the truth she said yes I did tell you to. But she never said any thing about me telling her I Love you? I feel if it was realy over she would tell me to quit saying that or something?
I am sending her a short email this morning asking about her health how she is? And also letting her know I am here for you and understand she is going through a lot right now and suport her. Telling her I do Love You! what about mentiong again about cleaning out my house should I?
i sent these emails this morning to here what do you think?
I hope your Boils are getting better and not bothering you a lot at work! Realize they could because of where they are located and you being right handed.
I also enjoyed talking to you last night! J Remember I am here for you 24 hr. a day if you need me. do not worry about worry about what that you think it might not seem right to you that does not matter to Me! I am here for you I Love You!!! I understand you are going through a lot! I am here for you do Not Forget!
The 2 guys and Steph are all helping Trish to get everything packed and out of the house. Supposed to start at 10 am. Evan if it cannot get finished today it will be done by this week. The guys are going to help me make sure!
I Love You Pooket!
It is not as painful today. I am going after work to get the packing taken out. Thanks for offering to be there for me. Great news on the house.
Please let me know after you go to the Doctor!!
I called the clerk of court after my first email to find out divorce status. She did ask on the phone last night what was happening on it. so that wieghed on my heart so I called.
then sent her this email
I want You to be the first to Know!! I just called the clerk of Court my DIVORCE was signed Friday it is OFFICAL NOW!
she wrotE back in big colorful cartoon letters
Hi five to Pooket from her Pookie!!!
I realize should have gotten done quicker willing to eat some crow from pooket!!! For this but it is done and property being divided. All except that dang car which if she can get 15k more power her to it. I just want it all over!
NO REPLY FROM HER ON THIS.
Do need to still explain why now because what you wrote about my tim with her is excatly how I felt?
what do think of me explaining like you said about not taking care of this and why now?
also do you think this being stuff of mine is going to play a bigger role in when her x shows up or maybe with Gods will some reason he wont come or she will stop him?
also last night I tell her i was doing driven to get it done! I had prayed and God gave me the way and will to get it done also. to prepare if God brings her back to me?
because also remember and 2 thing she said if i would bring the ring back if Gods will and Holding my Hands looking me in the eye telling me I Do Love You!
also i did mentioni was standing like a oak tree she said what? I said strong firm and solid in this! she asked where I got from A strong spitrual person! i told the person who made Your Ring she said oh not evan coreccting me on the ring like refering to it as something else. and couple of time I refered to her ring she did not corect me at all?
will this make a differnce he does show up? my stuff being done?
last night i did on the phone tell her God is envloved. i prayed about he gave me the drive, mean and all to get this done? I was preparing it if we got back to gether I knew it realy bothered her where my word? to i need to email some more on this?
I want to say first off, I should cleaned my House much sooner I realize. To tell you the truth But I never wanted to take the time away from Pooket to clean my house, I wanted to spend every moment with my Pooket. Not realizing if I had taken the time to do this then I could have had more time with you now. I realize should have pushed harder to get her stuff out of my house. I know the stuff from her and the overall mess really bothered you that was my fault for shore. I am so HAPPY the final divorce papers came through finally and earlier than expected 2 weeks almost where supposed to be signed next week not last week! I know deep down that everything that has happened is God`s plan. He needed to prepare me for the life for us together! I have never ever been more sure about this and that Bret wants Jenny in my life forever and that God will show us the way to have a Happy life together! Also when all her stuff is gone there will be no more need for Trish and I to ever talk again for sure. God has prepared me to get this done now between the resources he put in my path and the energy he has given me along with the drive. God is Preparing myself for your return!
That's the problem..it's what YOU want...here's what you say:
I have never ever been more sure about this and that "Bret wants Jenny"
she has stated she does not know what the future bring cant predict?
She talk like when I touch her she does not siver or get that feeling warm feeling?
i think she is very un shure in fact maybe wanting to turn the clock back till she was phisical and stuff.
she says all she knows is God wants her happy?
she was happy it seemed with us always laughing cutting up and telling me she loved me?
i wonder about a midlife crisis she might be having?
my 19 daughter told me last night that Jenny had told her a while back that datting a man her age or older was much better? now look at 6 years younger ?
i think some space would be good now she knows my x is gone? also i think she is excited about her x getting here might be heart driven and take him getting here for her to wake up?
this is also all based on him being sober from drinking and drug what those chances?
I sent her this reply.
just wanted to let you know I was steady and not running to Trish or anywhere. You asked for me to be truthful with you.
she has said God is leading her and her heart to do this?
also if you presure her she will run or get mad and shutdown communication with me? almost like buck at it?
i feel like the next thing happens when her x shows?
I apperciate the advise you have given. the Lord has put sevral wise christian counsel in my path for council. The word have come to me to pray she relizes the past is the past. I am evan praying for her x so he will relize this. I beleave it will be days after he arives not weeks or months. God will reveal where she belongs and that the PAST is that.
God has opened doors to make this happen on my side to make the much needed changes in my life and quickly helping do this.
me being on her mind and her knowing first hand that my divorce and x`s are cleared out of my house is a good thing? for Us to move on together?
I had a funny feeling in my gut when she did not reply back last night and something this morning. i felt like he had made it to town do not know why just a gut sign from god he put there. her x does start work monday at his new old job who he only worked there a year I think and quit?
and her response to my email confirms almost sure whn she just put company in stead of who since I do know her friends and family?
I think this is good because If it all the feeling and they had clicked totaly she would been evan shorter on her remarks if any?
also the first time he might be on extra good behavior?
I still beleave God will reveal the past for her is the past?
I am also thankful my divorce came trough before he got here and my house deal?
she was not feeling good so itext her this morning what do you think?Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2011 8:46 AMTo: Jenny Subject:
Hope you are feeling better under your arm? Did they have to repack it? Tried you last night to check how it went I texted you. While I was at the hospital with Stephanie. She was visiting a uncle in the hospital he is also so her God father. She has a total of 2 uncles and one cousin she calls uncle the hospital. So please say a Pray it is bothering her.
To: Bret Subject: RE:
I will pray for all of Stephanie's Uncles. I had company last night so I did not go see about my arm. I am going this afternoon.
To: JennySubject: RE:
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX your arm feeling? I hope better.
I am feeling better. Thanks
The status say finished but your answer is not showing up. The last question never showed
I know God is working on this and in His hands now I turn it over to him!
taking time might make her realize even more she needs to move on? Also he is younger than her he might not like this time bit he might be ready to kinds pickup where they left off? her x is younger and might want physical activivites to soon? They had a very active bed room life she has told me? she also told me many times while we talked there relationship was based on much physical bed room? it might have to happen in bed for her to realize it is over? do you think it will bother her if it does? the only real issue she and I had between us is gone? so them taking time could be good? I think she know I am here for sure more than ever with what God let me reveal before he got here my divorce and house? i am going to let her make a move and miss me my gut tells me to? she did tell me sometimes you have to be gone to know what there is? I know she knows deep down in that I am there for her? It is Gods hand now and he has it under control now. i going to give her some time to reach out to me she know I want her for sure? this also is all based he has changed from drinking and drugs. if he has not then what? i think she will tell him to leave very quick being there past and no marriage binding them?
I had talked to Jenny the day before when I found out my dog had died I called her to let her know we talked she had to go for work. she called me back in a little bit when she finished her work call . i did tell her I Loved her very much she did not reply. i told her I missed her asked doyou miss me she said very quiet and almost she said yes she missed me. i told her I know there are some thing you have to get straight with herself she said yes. she said right now she was worried and upset of my dog. not thinking of that. we both love dogs ours where together alot she would call all of them our kids.
she wanted me to call her back when I picked him up so I did she kept asking what happened and all over and over again and was I sure? i tell her again I loved her very much. no reply? i told her i was praying she did ask me are you praying for us not to make it? I took that as her and her x. I said I was praying to God that she would relize the past is the past. she asked if I listened to God. I told her again I was sorry to call her was giving her space to think and would not preasure her but was here waiting on her. she said something like I can not expect you to wait? I told her do not worry I was going to stand like a Oak tree.
then yesterday I got below please let me know what you think? of it all?
To: Bret Subject:
Please STOP telling your sister our conversations. I just received an email from her...
Jenny (ES)Subject: RE:
I will STOP I told her in confidence I was so distraught over Hersey and all. I was just talking to her alone. My chest was super tight with tension and all. I do not know what she said at all. I was so worried in all that happened about Hersey that I might have been too pushy with you yesterday about you and I and what was said. I for sure do not want to make any waves. I really was giving you some space then I had to call you yesterday. I promise what Sandy thinks of you is still top notch. She really does Love you! She misses you also. Like I told yesterday she almost called you the other day when she burned herself with the heating pad causing second degree burn. The night you and I ate at Sonic I promised I was not saying too much to Sandy in case we worked out...
To: Bret Subject: RE:
What you like to see her email?
Jenny (ES)Subject: RE:
It up to you it was to you? I will if you like I do not want any problems or distance between you and I then we have. Please remember what you have said about Sandy in the past how she is and you understand and you like in her.
Well I did not appreciate the email at all. I am not even going to respond to it. Here it is...read if you want:
I have spent many hours each day with Bret or on the phone with him crying his eyes out. He has reached for spiritual advice to some of the Godliest people I know. He prays for your happiness, that God will reunite you and yes, he even prays for Trey's happiness. Jenny, if Bret didn't have God, the power of God and listened to God, I think he would be dead by now. I am NOT in any way trying to make you feel guilty, I love you, all our family loves you, but I think the one thing Bret has that he can depend on is the Grace of God and Hope that He promised to us. He cries for his lost love, prays for ALL concerned (Trey, too), pines for his favorite pet, Hershey; and you ask him if he is listening to God! Yes, he told me that! And, Jenny he is constantly listening.
Be well, be happy, trust God AND LISTEN! God can put the obvious in front of us, but we all have free will. If you are looking to go backwards, you have your X. If you want to continue building a life with someone who truly loves you and everything about you, you have your answer there, too.
With love from your "thought I was about to be your sister in law",
Your right way to heavy please do hold against me? I told you I was not going not to be pushy and meant it for sure. I am backing off but standing like an OAK tree. I meant what my response to your earlier email said.. no excuse put Sandy was out line and should have put a much lighter email to you. She does miss you and love you very much.
You have no idea how my family wanted to get involved when we ALL found out you were still married! but NO ONE contacted you about that.
This is between us. I am a grown woman, I do LISTEN to GOD & I am doing what I think is right.
later she emailed back a forth about my daughter and how she was doing with the death of my dog Hershey. 3or 4 times
Jenny called me Saturday we talked for 2 hours or more. about every thing. she said it was for colection it was some money I told her a while back I would give her. she brought up my sisters email to her and not irrate with me over it? She said she stewwed over it that it made her mad? but she deleted it and did not want to send her a email back and make my sister mad? she also asked what my daughter thaught in us and how she was doing with the death of Hesrsey? she said she hated this happened while she was here? Jenny said if it had been her and something happen to dog Al and I had left her she would be in a mental hospital for sure? I did tell her I was Praying she would relize the past was the past ready to move on? I told her I Loved her more today and I sorry if I evere took you for cranted. also told her she is my ALL and ALL. She was silent replied with nothing again? she talked alot about her and all? also told me she had slept with no sheets on the bed and had left all the stuff out i had left on the floor from a cabinet i moved when I got my stuff 2 week this tuseday? I told her I lost wieght she waht I weighed when I got my stuff which I had already lost some then. told her another 7 lbs. I asked her if she had lost any she said No? I kinda thought she would been working out preparing for her x to come? she did not want me to call her my nickname for her Pooket call her jenny which I rarely do evan at one point it sounded funny she said? i accidently let her nickmane slip a she kinda laughed as I corected my self?
I went to church yesterday Amen to God! during it I was thinking of wish I could run into Jenny`s best friend who is also married to Jenny`s nephew. me and him where good friends also. well they called me right as i was walking out of church I ended up going over there stayed for almost 4hrs. we talked alot they said they wanted to remain friends with me depiste what jenny might say? also they did not agree the way she was handling this at all bringing her x down so soon after us and if jenny realy did not like so many thing about me then why did she stay with me?
also jenny`s beast friend told jenny that email could have been worse! she said if had been her brother and all involved and women did to him she might not have been so nice? also jenny what if it was your brother?
jenny`s best friend told me that Jenny`s x had only been out of jail since a couple of days before he made his first call to jenny?
also jenny`s best friend feared that the two of them would not be as strong as it has been? i told many times that jenny had comented how important thier relationship was to her? I also told jenny`s best friend that the converstion me and jenny had sitting drinking coffee where more the real feeling of her deep inner heart? which i beleave will come out in not the to near future in jenny`s thought and descision making process?
his family had to drop him off at jenny`s house. his jeep was in inpound his family never hepled him get it out? he is 34 no car showed up at her house with very little and some tools to go to work?
the day before he showed we had the 2hour converstion which was good I feel?
also what about no car he is borrowing her to go to work she works at home.
his family did help him get his jeep out of impound strange? they do have the money to? ithink either they did not want him to have a car to drive? or some body might be looking at the car? he was doing crystal meth right before jail? also steeling goes along with needing money for it more than just pot?
jenny called me this morning with some bank info she talked to me for 20 min. first about the nice text she got from my sister? to about how long his family stayed maybe 20 min she said it was like a fog kinda? the she talked about trey some. she also said I should not be talking to about this i know it up setting? I said it was ok she could talk to me about anything. she told me yesterday she was shaking in side and out. she said it was kinda like when they first met? he was being very modest and allnervous. she made a coment that she told him hey its is just me just me? I know this is God working to lket them know past is past. infact i told her time will tell but you could both be at different points in life not like you all whwere before? i told her I miss her this morning she said why this morning? I restated I miss all the time she was silent? I said I Love her and miss her again. she was silent. in fact we had few silent moments on the phone she could easily ended the call? i told her i had alot to talk about but could not she said I know? i mentioned my house getting cleaned she said she be it right? i said almost there was alot of stuff though? she said I know? that when done will be Good when done to me. almost like good for her to? her voice did not sound excited like i thought if you met the man you left me for? i thought her voice was kind alost nervous and not at all excited? i wonder if she was expecting bliss att he start? and disspointed some? i am praying this uneasy will stay on and open eyes up? I think it could she does work a very stresssful job from home? which could add to the unesyness between them he might become fustrated?
i talked to her step Dad he loves her very much she would always say i rmined her of him. she has a lot of respect for him. infact he new nothing of wht was going on that we where evan broke up. he Is a good chriatian man and will not tell jenny we talked for sure. he wants us to work it out. i stepped out to tell him not noing what wouls happen. to much of my delight he was very suportive infact whent through almost the same thing with jenny`s mom along time ago. he is going to start praying and said lets turn it over to the Lord. but said he fully beleaves this guy is bad and has not changed agreed almost like a drug to Jenny her x is, he only worry is her getting hurt bad such as one time for2 yrs she did crystal she quit by her self. he told me to call him any time for what ever. he says he will pray and see where the good lord leads him to do. but no worry about him telling her we talked at all. jenny has only told a select few about her and her x and me?
her step dad beleaves he said change many times and hos not? he says he has claimed this before in a way? on to of his struggles and her getting her life together do you think that could be good for us? do you think she might think about life with me if it is a struggle? plus her job is very stressful? this tells me something she did not share with on only a few family who might understand?
what about only her telling certain family? like almost scared to tell for what they might think?
plus you and I have talked give me your over all please?
do you think their strugles will make her rilize more what we have? I will keep praying to God for Us!
i beleave that when this settles down some she will realy think more about she and I do you agree? and the main thing was my divorce and x s stuff?
She is very private. But did not want to tell people who would confront her in this and certain family might due to knowing what she went through? funny you bring up comfortable with us while talking saturday she made a coment we pretty much got to do what we wnted? her best friend said several times about stablibilty and finances to me she thought it was not fair if jenny came back for that? i said she was wrong we had more than that and as long as she came back then we could build from there? do you agree? and i think alot of questions her friend asked where quetions she and jenny disscussed?
Do you think in all it looks pretty good for us? several people have used a base ball anolgy 2 strijes 3 balls and two outs for her x? i think just her talking to me about her uneasy ness with them from Sunday is Good. also I believe the talks she and i had on the back porch over coffee will pay off? i think the things she liked my age, stability and grounded are important to her maybe not at the moment because of the whirl wind she is riding right. my daughter said just a couple of weeks before this jenny had said she liked a man her age or one like your dad much better. jenny said older men fit much better with women there age or a little younger. I i told her today it was ok to talk about any thing? i told her Saturday I did not realize how much I really Loved her till Now! also I probably took her for granted sometimes and that wont happen again. also she is my ALL and ALL! she was silent but I know she took it in? i have to believe her core belief's will come back to the top?
also wht about still making coments about my x cleaning her stuff out which I told her today was almost done she said good? like you say i think this has been a issue evan though she says it has not?
another strange thing 2 weeks before this she asked after my x an i finished with all our stuff whould talk to my x? in fact she almost said for me no need to? kinda strange
of course her best friend said my x had no play in this put while i was getting stuff at jenny`s jenny brought up her name several times?
i do not think she tells all to her best friend like her best friend thinks she does?
i know God is working on this right now!!!
i do not beleave it will be months and months or year! i fully beleave it will not take as long as one might think?
her best friend told me my x was not a issue infact that i tied to use guilt againist her jenny siad of my x. i beg to differ she asked to many time about my div and my x.
you think she still thinks of my x a worries some evan with her x there?
infact like i put in a question to you about me not talking to my x jenny and i talked about nort to long before all this happened i told her i would not have reason? infact she almost told me?
jennys best friend evan told me she thinks if my house had been rented she would have not kicked me out with no place to go? makes m e go mmm?
sevral time she told me while we going through this you have to let go to get back. and giving her space could make her miss me?
also her talking to me yesterday and telling me about my sisters nice text? ment someting i beleave jenny evan told me she replied with a smiley and a thanks so more than once she has made sure i new she wanted to let me know she was ok with my sister? when you consider her coments saturady?
alittle more about not wanting to tell her step dad about us or her x? he knows the relationship that jenny had with her x? he told me he beleaves her x has not changed and said similar thing before to her? jenny always tells me she has looked up to him and valued his opion alot? i think if she told him he would tell her it is amistake to go back to him taking me out of the picture? he told me he putting it in the Lords hand and knows he is working on it!
i thought i would talk to her step dad regular but having second thoughts? knowing jenny might get mad and you never know? i plan on telling him athis what i put i for sure do not want jenny any futher from me and make her mad is not what I want to do. not that i do like talking to him but not now? we will both work it with the Lord from our own ends.
her step dad is worried that her x could drag her down and all back to drugs? he fears a little for her well being in general maybe not her x persay but would hurt her? but he might get her back on drugs or whho knows why he is down here?
i have had several people say hope nothing bad happens like people looking for him?
remember he did steal for money and was on drugs? also no vehicle kinda odd why his family did not hepl him get it? who knows?
plus her best friend and jenny`s told me they googled her x by cit state and name?
i did tell them i did the sametill after they told me. we both got the snme results though.
it came up in his home town cithy blog some one looking for him sevral months ago? 2 replies one saying a pot head the other that he was in brickley the name of prison?
i made a mistake of confronting jenny when she first told me several weeks ago? she did not beleave me in fact told her x he wanted to know where i did not remember i said? i am way past that this is when i got mad a first. i know getting mad is not good but i quess it could also let her know i did care and would bothered her more if i would taken this laying down?
what about her not wanting to tell her step who she always said rasied her and like a father? infact she he and I that she we rinded her alot of each other and she liked that? do think she could not want to tell him because he might be one who would be dissapointed and tell her she was making a mistake to her?
i know shw is 40 but if he was dissaponteneted that would bother her big time I think she always talks highly of him?
her step dad knows her x got her hooked and woried about this agaain?
he told me jennys`s mom went back to jennys dad so he has been through the same thing?
he says wait and pray the Lord will lead her back?
do you still think she might wake up and realize she was wrong and come back to me?evan feeling maybe sorry for him?
i BELEAVE IN MY hEART AND SOLE SHE WILL BE? Our 2 only big problems my div are done and my house is almost comletly empty of my x s stuff?
in fact the weekend I brought her the ring I told her I wOULD TAKE HER BACK OR SOMETHING SHE SAID SHE MIGHT NEED A LITTLE TIME LIKE NOT RIGHT AS HE PULLED OUT THE DRIVE?
OVER ALL GIVE ME YOUR OPION?
BY THE WAY I SENT HER MY DOG HERSHEY WHO DIED HEART GAURD BY MAIL. because when I bought it it was for all out dogs knew she did not have any?
SHE SENT ME EMAIL HOW THOUGHTFUL THAT WAS. I ASKED DID SHE READ THE NOTE AROUND THE BOX SHE SAID HARD TO READ YOUR WRIYING LOL... I REPLIED WITH WINK EYEBALL MU AND LU. DiD YOU UNDERSTAND POOKET NOW. THEN SECOND ONE YOUR OAK TREE (Pookie in waiting) no reply but this was right after 5 maye he got home?
jenny`s best friend does tend to cry wolf or get hyped up first before thinking? so i do not know if the bit about my house and rented when that cane up or excatly?
could you expand on coming back to me evan if she feels sorry for him from my question above?
plus her step dad and me being so much a like and she liked that?
i talked to her step dad today for a good while we are going to have dinner next or the week after he lives 1 hr away? He has also turning it over to the Lord? told me he will pray about it but is going to talk to Jenny face to face not letting her know he knows about us. infact maybe asking her if we all could go to dinner? he told me will not let her know but will find out the x living at her house? he will tell her how he feels for sure? what do you think of This? her step told me and has in the past told jenny i was the best thing that hasppened to her?
he told me her x realy does not like down here and would much rather where he from?
he beleaves if he could found some where elese safe up home he would be there?
and not getting his jeep out there is more to that than we know? he belevaes she is being conned and inturn conning her self. by the thing she has told me and her actions.
he totaly beleaves she will be back to hang in there?
infact he said i want you to come to my house? i said i did not want jenny to know i was there and drive her away more? he told her mom will not like her x is back for sure? jenny and her mom are fight have been for a while mainly from her moms side say her kids do not call? he thought this might be a good time to patch this up between them so they could talk? in the past jenny has valued her opion also? they where very close infact when we first dating jenny could not wait for her mom, step dad and sister who lives 1.5 hrs away to meet me. she has told the sisster we broke up but over her not loving me like she should? not about her x at all?
no it will not be me and jenny i am almost sure. her step dad is going to ask her and me to dinner through her? but of course she will have to male a excuse or tell him we broke up? i am sure she will leave off the fact of her x to him? he sais he will go not letting her know he knows? but will find out some how what is going escilayy with him livivg there at her house? now they feel a second chamce thet have? but what about our feeling for each other will they play alrole some where?
her mom and jenny used to talk a lot but her mom claims jenny does not call her? jenny just the opsite? Her mom got her feeling hurt jeeny did not call her? i think they are both being stuporn on this? i have tried to get jenny to call her mom very hard to do? the use to be real close infact her step dad and mom drove 9hrs and met jenny in motel jenny gave them her littlr dog to take home because problem with her and trey?
i fully beleave he un finished bussiness up home for some reason to strange of things? he could owe money to some one for drugs? Like when getting out of jail he did not go stay at his place that has acres and horses. he went to stay with his sister in another city? he lives in a small town his sister in a major city?also he went to jail for steeling copper which is a sign you owe some one drug money or to buy it? his family not getting his jeep out just dropping him off at her place? only staying 20 min and leaving she told me she was close his family at one time? rember she has not seen them in a good while? i would want to catch up on thing atleast some?
i know sevearal time in your answers you felt like she could realize and come back to me evan running? do you still think that? also do think she could be caught up in new ness of this all and when life seltles down she realy will consider what she is doing? more the life we had or could have vs her x? his family has enough money could got it out i am sure a could way back but did not almost like for some reason leaving with out wheels? jenny and i had a talk way back I told her he was most probally a fellon? she said know he was not in fact this was not on his record? A good buddy of mine works for the sherriffs department he evan works with the DARE program here which is drug and achohol awareness for kids. he told me that burgerly was a fellon was automatic fellon and theft over $300 was also and 72 days in jail had to be way more than 300? my friend told it has to be on his record for sure van a speeding ticket goes on there?
my friend also crystal meth is one the hardest drugs to kick remeber her x has been doing it 10 plus years maybe stopping for short times that it? my friend said most probally from what he has seen when her x gets out about a month or so some money in his pocket he will go back? unless he is in after care program 72 days in jail is not rehab for sure?
jenny email me yesterday have not herd from her since last week?
From: XXXXX, XXXXXny [mailtoXXX@XXXXXX.XXX] Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:49 PMTo: Bret MalcolmSubject:
I have received a few text from Sandy about Howard. Is he OK???
How are you (& Steph) doing?
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 3:25 PMTo: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)Subject: RE: Hi Pooket,
He is doing better has spent a lot of time in bed some ruff nights.
Sandy loves you I know very much still!
My cousin mike with the heart was doing Great till the other day he was not feeling good they went to local hospital. The had to rush him to NOLA. He is getting better now.
I am ok work has been ruff for me!
I went for my annual checkup today my weight last year was 259 down to 232.5lbs now.
Steph is working still talking about Josh a lot.
Ok can I be honest with you or should I be quiet?
How are you doing?
Sent: Tuesday, August 23, 2011 4:19 PMTo: Bret MalcolmSubject: RE:
What is going on with Howard...fell off the wagon?
I hope Mike is doing OK.
Steph needs to be careful around that boy! He is older than her!
That is good on your weight. I can tell I have lost some. Trying to eat healthy especially at night & starting to exercise. But I have not gotten on a scale so who knows!
I want to lose 50-60 lbs. I need too!
I am doing pretty good. Work is still work and I am staying very busy.
To: XXXXX, XXXXXny (ES)Subject: RE:
Yes Howard fell off the wagon big time! He had it ruff stayed up for nights throwing up.
I think mike is doing better they are adjusting his meds
I keep telling steph to be careful!
I am want to be more aractive Oak tree... you know at yogi was up to 258 my coal is 200lbs
I miss you very much Pooket!!!!!!!
To: Bret MalcolmSubject: RE:
Howard is going to kill himself if he doesn't stop!
I haven't drank in probably 3 weeks now...thatwill also help me lose a lot of weight...drinking adds so many lbs that I definitely don't need.
I am sorry Pooket I just wanted to hear your voice!! Not trying to be pushy at all! Can I ask you something?
I am not on the phone but I am not alone so not a good time to call right now.
What do you want to ask me?
You told me to be tuneful always with you.......... I Love You very much...
Do you miss me?
What is 'tuneful'? I wouldn't use a word like that- I don't even know what it means..haha
Hey type-o you know me...lol
I miss our bonding and being retarted together the other part of my ESPN!!!
To always tell you the truth!! I love You Pooket.....
No reply to my?
You will always hold a special place in my heart- there's no doubt about that.
I have thought about you & wondered what you were up to & how you were doing.
That's really all I can say.
A black Lab came to the front door the other night. My front door was open, I could see it through the glass...I thought it was Hershey coming back in another life!
The kids went nuts!
Is it all you expected so far?
I am just seeing your emails this morning. You ask 'is it all I expected so far?'
It is an adjustment and things are not as acqward as they were when he 1st got here. I was used to being with you for over a year and you are 2 completely different people. Not anything bad at all, just different. We are both doing things that we did not do in the past and/or had stopped doing. Our marriage ending was not 100% his fault; I had faults too.
I can tell he is really trying; he is a different person in a better way. I guess only time will tell.
I DO care about your well being and want the best for you.
I forgot to ask...how is Callie Joe doing?
I hope work is not too 'ruff' (as you spell rough-LOL!).
Jenny S. Jones
after i recieved this email this morning I was driving so I decided to call jenny.
we talked alomost a hour on the phone. about all kinds of stuff. i evan brought up the ring i had for her she said a ring was not that important. evan denies saying if in Gods will would I bring the ring back she she may have said if in Gods plan. she told me i hear what i want to hear alot. I think she is justifing her actions to her self?
she also told me she did not expect to just wait for her? i told I was going to if God wnted me to move on he will help me? but i am standing still like a oak tree for her she ok! i then said maybe Pookie will be reborn one day she kinda laughed! i also told her i was a phone call away she told me you better answer your phone? i did tell her I love you and I miss you!
i asked what her labor day plans where it is to go to arkansas to get some of his things. she said she needed to help him?
I think he kinda prayes on nieve women lookes for there help and controls them some in his own way?
also I think there is codependent between them?
i did tell who knows you and trey could on for happy? or this could be something you have to do to move on with me? she said it could be!
i beleave him going to get his stuff could hep get thinks moving more to see what is realy happening with them on a day to day? or if he has realy changed or is this a front of some sort?
i beleave there is more going on with them then she says to me not near as comfortable as it might look on the out side? he might be some of it who knows?
my email to her after we talked no reply?
Hi Jenny (AKA Pooket),
You made my morning more than you realize! JJ Just hearing your voice was awesome….
M/U @ L/U
Bret ( your Own Oak tree and if in Gods plan could be reborn one day your Pookie)
like my pastor told me it is almost like I am her white knight in waiting to ride in and rescue her!
she know i am stable secure here and grounded?
back to my last qestion can you expand on sme of her emails to me?
also them going to get some more of his stuff?
if i talk about certain things she tends to get a little testy and says why all the question? i am realy not asking any hard question just making conversation?
she called me today to let me know how her dads test results came out. which she fears the found some more cancer in him and not sure how they will treat him?
but she told me in almost excat words i just wanted to call yoy abou my Dad?
she has i always said i am good with medical stuff?
it was kinda short though call may 20 min?