People who are scared of commitment are all different. If she feels a relationship threatens her lifestyle then she has established ways to relate to other people without being responsible to one. People like this see a relationship as confining rather than healthy. You have to figure out what she finds so confining and if she is willing to change that perspective. If she is afraid of commitment there is no time line. It could be anything depending on her issues. She can decide at any time that she is lonely.
There is a chance that she will stay afraid of commitment and never change her mind. You have to allow for that possibility. She has recovered from a divorce and may want to be free of commitment. She is the only one who knows which it is. I would for closure purposes contact her and see where she is with this. Who cares if you promised or you are giving her space. Just drop a line and say you need to know.
If this was helpful press accept
Shortly after our last communication I did make an approach to her. Not in begging terms, not asking to see her but simply saying that I thought about her every day and how horrified I was that we had got ourselves into a mess from what I believed was a quality relationship. I got a blunt reply asking me to delete her from my mobile contacts.
Nothing has been exchanged between us since.
So there is nothing I can do now. As you say, she has to work it out, she is/was the one who was indecisive. And knowing that hanging around was no good for me.
She never said she loved me but I believed she did. She showed moments of jealousy of other women, she bought me a birthday present saying 'that she wanted it to remind me of her each time I used it'.
If she was in love with me is it resonable to conclude that she still is?
If so, will love win in the end and she will reach out to me?
I have to add I did still think of her everyday. And this may sound stupid but having some sympathy with 'telepath' between people I continually sence that she is thinking of me.
I acknowledge that I have to move on - regardless. We met at Modern Jive dances.
I am keeping away from venues she frequented, although on the grapevine I have heard that she has not been seen around, I suspect she has thrown herself into what clearly emerged as her 1st love, playing tennis. It was playing tennis which was the world she got into to cope with her unhappiness after divorced and a failed affair. I think she felt safe in that world. But eventually more natural instincts of the love and affection of a man shook the foundations of that safety net of tennis.
In dancing I meet loads of ladies and have had recent offers to 'date'. I have accepted those which were suitable but it is hard work, such dates jkust do not feel the same, stupidly I feel as if I am being 'unfaithful' to her in just 'dating' other ladies.
I suppose only time and / or perhaps meeting the 'right' lady will change that?
I am convinced that I did nothing wrong to mortally wound the relationship.
So on a 'rough' balance of probability how likely do you think it is that tennis will not stop her from loneliness at times and a natural curiosity about what I am doing?