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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi.This is my second marriage to a woman from another country

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Hi.This is my second marriage to a woman from another country with 2 teenage boys from her troubled previous relationships. Lived together for over 2 yrs till she started to feel homesick & miss her family. Not happy here & want to move back in a few yrs when her boys are older & are in university. She suggested a plan of work & save money & move to her country. At first I liked the idea, but later said I couldn't promise. She eventually moved out of my house but very near me,I tried the separation for 14 months but got tired & thought we are going different ways so mentioned divorce but we haven't done it yet.She has said we want the same things but in different places. I have thought that I lover her & the boys enough so I've said that I would rent my business & house to go over to her country in a few yrs. But she is cold and rejective with me now, not sure how to handle it, she needs to decide if she wants me in her life or not, never been clear to me and to what capacity? I have discovered she has been seeing somebody recently. She is on a 6 wks holiday in her country with her boys now. I like her boys & they like me too but I don't want to get hurt in the process.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like you have informed her that you would make huge sacrifices for her and the kids (a lot of people wouldn't do that). You can't expect more from yourself than that. Whatever her decision is after making such a plan is what it is. It takes two make a couple and you have offered. Sometimes people just grow apart. Or sometimes they just want different things at different times. You can't be in a relationship by yourself so at some point you have to accept that whatever you want isn't the same thing. I would let her know of your willingness to go to her for another few months but after that you have to move on. If she is seeing someone else this is proof that he is emotionally moving on herself. You are going to be hurt if you hold on past when she is interested in being together. I would keep your own interests at heart. What if it doesn't work in her country. You can't operate on just emotions. Try to begin to move on for now and accept her decision. Maybe she will change her mind.


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