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Dr.G.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1485
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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My husbands talks to women on Live web cam. I have had this

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My husbands talks to women on Live web cam. I have had this problem for years now and have asked him not to do it. He's started asking to meet people and I dont know if I'm over reacting, but I don't feel comfortable in his arms now. I just know of the filth he talks about and it makes me feel dirty. The problem is I love him and although I asked him not to do this, he's started again. This is the 3rd time in our 16 year marriage and I feel useless. He says it dosent count because he would never act on it. But it dosent make me feel better. Is our marriage over. Should I end it and take my chances at being single, or stick with it. I've thought long and hard, and I know that if he were to cheat on me physically, I would leave him without a doubt.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
Does it really matter if he is cheating physically or emotionally with someone? He is not respecting you or the marriage. He has no plans of stopping. Because you have allowed this behavior to go on in your house then he believes it is ok to do. Ok, so you have nagged a little bit in the past and he told you what you wanted to hear; but that didn't stop him. If you are willing to put up with it then you need to play ignorant to his web escapades and pretend like everything is good between you two. If you can't ignore it then you should just leave him because it won't stop. The choice is yours.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I didn't realise it was my fault for allowing it to happen, I never thought of it like that. I have asked him to stop and he told me he had. I trusted him and I suppose I dont trust him now. I suppose its up to me then, whether I'm willing to live the rest of my life with this. The real problem is that I know I would hurt him if I left him, I would feel guilty. I was probably lookng for someone to tell me it wasnt my fault.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
His actions are not your fault. You subjecting yourself to this repeated disrespect by him is definitely your fault. It is kind of like someone who gets beat by their husband. If they stay in the relationship knowing their husband is an abuser then the wife takes blame for staying. He hurts you and yet you would feel guilty for hurting him??? That makes no sense to me. You can't have a decent marriage if you can't trust your spouse. Your decision.
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