Thanks for contacting Just Answer
Let's see if I can help here....
OK... I have read your post a couple of times and I am sorry you find yourself in this very troubling situation - very troubling for sure...
I wish I could tell you that I had a crystal ball and that I could tell you what would happen if you stay with him or what would happen if you leave him.... but of course no has a crystal ball.
very true. just what do you think should happen. i just don't kno if im doing the right thing by staying
Having said that, I have dealt with similar situations and I can provide some ideas on how things have gone with those couples based on the decisions they made....
I understand. I understand very well... in most cases such as this, it is my recommendation to leave. The reason I say this is because "abusers" tend to get worse in general and the tend to get worse especially if the "victim" stays around.
even if im not the victim and have never witnessed it first hand
but i do understand why you recommend this though
This is because, in an abusers mind there is a very strong psychological "marker" (for lack of a better word) that says, "If she is still here, I must be doing the right thing to beat her -even though it doesn't make sense, she is still here so she must need me to do it"
Yes, that is a point I was going to make - you are not the victim, but you soon would be.
true.. this makes sense i just needed to hear it from someone other then a friend
Having said that.... I would take that approach - and let me please add something for you as if I didn't I wouldn't feel right...
Based on my experience, you will need some support from time to time. In your case, it's not as severe as others I have contended with, but... I recommend that you become familiar with a support group for people with codependent issues. Just become familiar with what that looks like - you will be glad you did.
I wish you all the best.