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Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, Marriage Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 839
Experience:  Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
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My question is about a really lovely guy whom Im not sure

Customer Question

My question is about a really lovely guy whom I'm not sure likes me. I recently moved into a block of flats and one morning, walking out the main entrance, I turned to notice a very attractive guy walking behind me, whom it turns out lives two floors above. Completely flustered (as I am no good at approaching men) I tried to think of the first thing that came into my head to speak to him, which was 'I've just moved in, o you know what day the bin men come?' to which he replied 'Wednesday, have a good day'. Feeling really stupid at my attempt at a chat-up line, I bumped into him on the way into our block a week later and he asked me how I was settling in and introduced himself. I was so excited that he spoke to me I just replied with my name, and said goodbye.

A couple of weeks later, whilst off, a delivery man rang my bell to ask if I would sign for a parcel on someone elses behalf as they were out, and I did. When I looked at the name on it, it was the name of the guy who had introduced himself to me, John. I couldn't believe it! What a coincidence! The next day a note was pushed under my door from John asking to call him so he could arrange to collect it. I called and he came down, mentioned he wasn't expecting it, said thanks and went.

My friend later suggested I follow things up by asking to borrow a screwdriver as an excuse to speak to him again. So I texted his number to ask if he had one to save me a trip to a hardware shop and he replied that he had and would bring it around the next day as he was wouldn't be back until late that night. He already knew my name from our previous meeting and had texted my name correctly twice but then the next day he texted me to say he was going out shortly and was I in so he could drop the tool off. However, he texted the wrong name which made me think that he was hinting to me that either he wasn't interested or was trying to fob me off.

Anyway he came down to me and quickly gave a demo at my door of the different sized heads on the screwdriver and how to turn it and said to bring it back whenever. The next day I texted offering to drop it off to him as I had finished with it and he said he would come and get it on his way in as he was out again, but again, got my name wrong! I corrected him and he replied saying that he was sorry, but had been working with a girl all week with that name (Jenny). I jokingly replied that he had Jenny on the brain and when he did arrive, he looked quite serious, and apologised immediately for getting my name wrong, even though he knew my name and had texted it about 4 times before! We made small talk, me freezing up and not really knowing what to say, then he stood for a few moments - I felt a bit awkward - and then he just said 'well if you ever need to borrow it again then let me know' and walked off, and I replied with something cringey and embarassing related to the screwdriver i.e. yes, I need more practice (cringe).

My friends have said I should have asked him in for a drink but I think he was just being a friendly neighbour. Seeing as he got my name wrong he can't be that bothered can he? I'm too scared of rejection and asking him in for a cup of tea seemed like a weird thing to do as I might have got it wrong. So, does he like me or not? If so, have I blown it?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 3 years ago.
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Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 3 years ago.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks Norman, that is a brilliant answer. It sounds like what you are saying is that he may be interested then?I didn't want to invite the guy in for coffee as he may get the wrong impression so do you think suggesting a coffee/walk the next time I see him would be ideal?Or should I just concentrate on saying hello a few tiwmes more when we bump into each other in passing to get more familiar with him? Thanks so much for your advice!
Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 3 years ago.
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