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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 and a half months but

Customer Question

I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 and a half months but now she's gone away to camp for the summer as a supervisor where she has no phone service. She will be home one night a week for a day off...She had a night off last week and was in the town near the camp and called me to check in and to tell me her first day off will be Saturday July 9.

She said her friends want to go see a concert and invited me to come along but then we decided to spend the night with each other while they all went to the concert.

We obviously haven't spoken since.

Even though I have no reason to question our commitment, I'm still missing her like crazy and worrying she's going to break up with me when she gets here.

How do I get rid of that feeling? How do I make the days go by faster? Time seems to be crawling. I just want Saturday to get here so I can see her and hug her and kiss her and tell her how much I miss her.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

From your account it sounds as if your friend is very dedicated to you and is putting you first. Consciously and rationally, we both understand that you have nothing to fear.

Nevertheless, you are haunted with obsessive thoughts which are causing you unneccary worry and anxiety. You are a worrier and a bit insecure, not because of the reality of the situation, but because of a form of anxiety known as obsessive compulsive behavior.

You do not seem to have diagnosable OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), but you could benefit from some self help (rather than counseling, which would also be effective).

Let me recommend a wonderful book that will help you gain control of these obsessive thoughts and ease your mind. You can get your hands on it in a few days from or elsewhere. It is:

Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: How to Gain Control of Your OCD by Christine, Ph.D. Purdon and David A. Clark

You are prone to anxiety, and this book should help you to overcome it. If you cannot do this yourself, then some assistance from a clinical counselor or clinical psychologist would be most helpful. If you have serious anxiety attacks, then, as a last measure, they can be stopped with the use of a benzodiazepine (such as alprazolam or lorazepam or clonazepam) on an AS NEEDED basis only. You should, however, be able to work your way out of this state of mind with the help of this book.

I wish you great success with your relationship, and with elminating these thoughts.

Warm regards,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Other.
I'm looking for a coping mechanism, not a diagnosis of OCD from one message I sent. He recommended a book, counseling and medication...
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 5 years ago.
I did not give you a diagnosis or OCD but recommended a book that has a large number of coping mechanisms. Reread the answer. People with obsessive thoughts can get better by themselves, and they can deteriorate. I was only covering all the possibilities.

Best wishes,

Elliott Sewell, LPCC, NCC
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Ok...what I'm looking for though is more of a coping mechanism I can use in the next 4 days considering I'm not going to have time to read a book before then.


I want to get rid of the feeling in the pit of my stomach...


I'm going to accept your next answer...but if you could give me a coping mechanism that would help. I'm in love with this girl and am afraid that if I don't find a way to deal with her being gone, I'm going to sabotage the relationship.

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