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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Basically we met in Nov2009 and spent Xmas together. Then he

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Basically we met in Nov2009 and spent Xmas together. Then he saw his dad in Jan 2010 and broke up with me saying "Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher don't happen in real life" but would like to keep in touch.I agreed so I could find the real cause of the break up....
He invited me for lunch Nov2010 Hugged me; said he was so glad we kept in touch and met.He went home to see mom at Xmas.Last month he asked to meet again; he told me on his way returning from mom he visited his ex girlfriend and she took him to see a gypsy who said he would be with a woman with two kids(me?)but the ex argued with the gypsy that it was three kids (she has 3kids)...
Then he said he had made a mistake, he got scared when his dad told him "what kind of woman introduces her kids?"It was my birthday and he was invited thats how he met my kids (over 18)....he was surprised I trusted him....
Anyway he didn't say can we get back together? so I played cool.
Last week he asked me out again and during the conversation he said he felt unsure of his future, so I said "what about the gypsy? Then he said his mom rang his ex wife and told her "hope you have 3 Cesarean"I told him he said he had gone to the gypsy with the ex girlfriend, why would his mom be concerned about 3 kids? he said no it was his mom who took him to the gypsy.I was not happy his story had changed.Now I'm confused, don't know what to do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
When discussing this with him or anyone else, leave the gypsy out of it. Focus on what you as a couple have in common. Find out what he wants and why his story changed. That is the heart of the matter. Why. He must have a reason. Work on this as a couple unless he is unwilling to do so. Try to listen to the issue and how to change it. He has to want to be a couple so listen to his point. You can limit your confusion by resolving this by listening. Also determine where the ex fits into this. Exercise good communication with him.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Can you suggest how to phrase the question as his story is all about seeing the gypsy.....its been 10days and how do I initiate contact if he hasn't replied? He said he told his ex to be just friends for now;(because he does not want any enemies); but I think she keeps in touch by emails and he is unable to move on....
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
If he won't respond you are at his mercy. He has a choice to not respond but don't give up yet. If he is unable to move on the "story" is irrelevant. He has to be open to a relationship. If he is not nothing you do will matter. You have to wait until you hear and then work on questions. He may just need honest approach from the heart
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Please elaborate "honest approach from the heart" what should I say to start with....(tell him I love him??)
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Make your comments from an honest place. If you love him tell him that. There is nothing wrong with being honest. You start with the truth
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