You can find out anything emotionally in counseling with time and effort. You can figure why you don't connect with people when they want to share their problems. It may be something about you that doesn't want to confront problems head on. There in help in many forms that would help you explore this. One is individual counseling to develop insight into why you don't speak of problems and resolve them with your partner. There is even internet counseling that would help you do the same through web cam. Any form of counseling you choose can be effective. Don't buy tapes to get better insight. That only comes with an interaction with a therapist who can help you without buying their tapes.
If this has been helpful press accept