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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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ive been falling for a married man for nearly 3 years, and

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ive been falling for a married man for nearly 3 years, and i never told anyone, not even my bestest mate, i kept it to myself because of the consequences. He was my boss at my work, and we became close, but i never in my mind did i thought he ever liked me because he's married. But every now and then i kept saying to myself does he like me too, because there were times when i thought does he like me, so i tryed to move on and see other guys, so before our christmas dinner he said he's bringing one of his mates with him to the do, so i asked him to try and hook me up with him, but he never did. Now when he left because he got transfered to a different shop i was gutted. While he was at the other shop he kept ringing me saying he really miss's me, and he kept begging me to go and work with him there. So in the end i did i got transfered to the shop he's working, and he was really pleased to see me again. Ive been working there now for over a year, last year i had a problem with something at home so i told him about it, and i started to cry. He took me in the canteen and he started to hug me, probably just to comfort me thats what i thought, but he hugged me again, but this time really tightly like he didnt want to let go of me. Anyway the next day when i was back in work he asked if i was ok and everything and that i could tell him anything, so i said yes i have something else to tell you, but i said please dont hate me when i tell you and he said he wont hate me. So i just said to him figure it out, so he said you like me dont you, so i just nodded, so i kept saying im sorry and i know its wrong, but he calmed me down and said to me, i like you too, he never mensioned his wife just his son who's 7, so this he just kept hugging me, and we were holding hands so i asked him are you happy at home, he said he isnt, so i said to him let me make you happy, but he just kept hugging me. Then on me second break, he came back in the canteen to see me, and he said im sorry i just do want to lead you on, and i cant leave me son. But again he began to hug me again, but this time he began kissing my cheek, then he went for my lips, so of course i let him, at that point we were kissing like mad, but i stopped it has i thought i heard someone come up to the canteen but there wasnt. But if i didnt stopped him, we'd still have been kissing. Plus its a other risk has it happened at work. He kept saying im sorry im sorry. After he was away for a week which was a good thing i guess so i could sort my head out. When he came back, he said im sorry for kissing you, but saying i still fancy you, and saying do try and find a another man, but i will be jealous. So i didnt know what to think at that point. So this one day i thought i need to have a talk with him, to get answers from him, so i went to see him at work when he was doing a night shift. It was his birthday so i give him a really lovely card that had touching words about what he means to me so i gave it to him and i loved it. Again he started hugging me again. So thats when i started talking about our situation, i asked him how along he's like me for, he said he's liked me for a while, so that meant he's liked me since his old job. He saided to me that on his leaving do (which i left early has i had work the next morning) he was going to tell me how he felt about me. I told him that ive liked him for ages, and why i like him so much. This man makes me laugh, he's always there for me, we are so alike, we get on so well and he's even said we would be so good together. So i asked him whats it like at his home, and he said its awfull, he and his wife never talk always arguing, he's very unhappy. So when he started to cry on me, and i told him let me make you happy. He cant leave becuase of his son, i said would he rather see his dad happy. So he buried his head in my hands, and stared to hug me, and then we started kissing again, and i loved it. He broke it of with a me last year saying that he cares so much for me to have an affair with me. So right now we are still getting so well too well, we havent hugged or kissed, but when he see me his face lights up so happy to see me. I catch him with the corner of my eye staring at me, and when he goes home and says goodbye too me i looks upset. At this moment i just dont know what to do, my feelings for this man will never change. I love him so much it hurts and it breaks my heart knowing he's not happy. At the end of the day i just want to see him happy, i want to make him happy.


He's everything to me
Thankyou for your help
Love stacey
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.

I have several concerns. If he is unhappy at home, it is HIS job to fix that. He has to decide how he can be happy and he has to do it in a way where people don't get hurt. It isn't your fault that he has to fix that but it is his responsibility to salvage relationships with his family. His son is part of this situation. You don't have a responsibility to them. You don't know really if he is happy and if he is telling his wife that he is unhappy. You know what he is telling you. I fear that this may be an excuse to start an inappropriate relationship with someone he works with. I also fear that you may be setting up a situation where your job could be effected.

 

You have to consider that he is willing to cheat on his family and you don't know what he is telling them if anything. What does this say about him. It says if nothing else that he willing to be deceitful. You probably have your heart on the line but what is his investment in this relationship. You could also be setting yourself up for heartbreak when it comes time to choose. What will l happen when he has to make a choice. Is this worth it

 

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psychlady
psychlady
Counselor
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I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues