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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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i am in what i know is a great relationship. i could not see

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i am in what i know is a great relationship. i could not see myself with a more caring guy that loves me and fulfills all of the "dealbreakers" of most relationships. there is nothing that i could or would change about him, in which lies the problem. we have been going out a year and we both know this is serious. i know he wants to marry me eventually and he is exactly the type of guy i would want to spend the rest of my lie with. i just cannot get out of my head. i over analyze everything and over think all of my feelings. up until a few months ago i was so happy and i easily admitted i loved him. now i just keep thinking through the what ifs and being scared for the future. i am equally terrified that he is not the one for me as well as being paralyzed by fear that he will be the one that got away and i will spend the rest of my life regretting it, because i think i would. he knows my emotional confusion and is totally supportive in working through it. he says he is not going anywhere and though i believe him, i am scared that i will do something to push him away. how can i get out of my head and just let myself be happy with him again?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You need to process this with a therapist. What you may be experiencing in just some anxiety and you will resolve increasing your chances of a happy future. Everyone worries but if it is disrupting your relationship then it helps to talk to someone. You can work through this rather than making yourself concerned over a long period of time. There may be something that has happened in the past that is creating this doubt. Try to find someone in your area.



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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i know that therapy would help but i am not in a financial place to get private help so i have to white knuckle it on my own. i have always been a very guarded person and had to grow up fast, so i realize that this is part of the problem. i am trying really hard to talk about how i am feeling with him and not keep it bottles up. he truly is not part of the problem at all, it is on my side. he is totally wonderful and i want to be with him 100% but i just can't seem to let myself do that.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
The only way to open up is with practice. It is a skill that can be learned by anyone anytime. Learn to push yourself a little every day. Eventually you will be more willing to say or do things that are out of your comfort zone. But you have to try extra hard. I also want you to pick up a copy of Mars and Venus Together Forever. It is amusing and can help you understand communication better. There is no other way to have a better relationship than to do things you are uncomfortable with. You can to this.

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