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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My boyfriend had a very tough childhood, his mother commited

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My boyfriend had a very tough childhood, his mother commited suicide when he was seven and almost instantly she was replaced with a step mother who favoured her own children over my boyfriend and he was banned from talkng of his real mother. He now always claims he is better off alone and is incapable of love. How can i support him through this? he is going through massive changes at the minute due to a change of job and as soon as he gets stressed out comes this im better off alone, im incapable of love, its a chore speal comes out - how can i fix it? and move out of this rut?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

His emotions are very difficult for him because he has learned that he is not special and went through periods where he was not nurtured. That does not mean that he is incapable of emotions but it would help for him to see a counselor. The best thing you could do for him at any time is to convince him that he would benefit from seeing someone who can resolve these issues. As far as the relationship, you are going to have to have a lot of patience He has had no role models to allow him to see what a happy couple looks like. Giving him space may help somewhat because he can reflect on his issues. I would email regularly though so that he has someone to talk to. Find out from him how much space he needs. Also what he needs from you. Work together on what he needs rather than instituting what you think he needs.


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