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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have been going out with a divorced man for over five years.

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I have been going out with a divorced man for over five years. Everything was fine for the first three years or so but after I was introduced to his daughter and ex wife (yes it took that long!) things went downhill. He constantly lied to me as to where he was going and with whom and was regularly going out for 'family' days and weekends with his grown up children (now 21 and 23) and ex wife whom he divorced ten years ago. He passes back poisonous comments that the daughter and ex wife say about me although they have only met me a very few times. When he moved in with me a year ago I asked the daughter over for dinner on a few occasions and other days out - she was and is rude and disrespectul to me and sometimes just rolls her eyes at me instead of speaking. My boyfriend says she is 'just being loyal to her mother'. After discovering he went on a walking holiday with the daughter, friends and ex wife whilst I was away I kicked my boyfriend out of the house. He still says he loves me terribly and that no one will ever love me like he does. I still see him once a week or so but my friends find his rude and passive aggressive. I am 48 and feel devastated and lonely that I have wasted five years with this man. we were going to buy a house together. Should I give him another chance or move totally on with my life?


If you are comfortable having these problems for the rest of your time together then go ahead and reunite. He has told you verbally and emotionally that he is overinvolved with his wife and that isn't going to change. I don't know of any woman who would want that situation and you shouldn't want it either. In addition, he does not require that his daughter respects you and he is "rude". I don't see any qualities that would promise a long and happy future. I think instead you are concerned that you wasn't several years with this guy and you really want the promise of a good relationship. He is not it. Think of it this way: If you reunite with him, then you will waste more time than you could have spent with someone who is kind and considerate. Also you will not look for a healthy relationship if you are tied up with him. Move on and find someone that deserves you.


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