How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Why am I saddened to hear good news about a friend I was

This answer was rated:

Why am I saddened to hear good news about a friend? I was talking with a good friend and heard some great news that she was learning to surf today. I became quite sad by the news and wished I were there too. It actually hurts to hear all the good news about my good friend. There have been several miscommunications between me and my friend. It's difficult to come to the same conclusions. We seem to work very hard at communicating. But I do want good things for her. I would like to listen and make sure that I continue to be a good influence in her life but I want to stop feeling sad as well.

Hi,

 

Feelings are connected to one's internal dialog (your thoughts, whether or not you ruminate/believe what you're thinking)

 

It is normal to have the desire to do enjoyable things. At the time of your friend's disclosure, you may have interpreted the situation as something that you won't be doing anytime soon (or something as fun) As a result, you may have felt resentment (not necessarily towards your friend, but at your own predicament) It is natural to also feel envy. People are social and competitive beings. It would be more unnatural not to strive for pleasant and fun things in your life.

 

Another cause for your reaction (may be subconscious) and it may be related to the fact that you've not yet discovered how you want to live your life fully and freely.

 

The good news is that thoughts and feelings can be changed. There are different tools that allow you to do so depending on what you're open to trying. Instead of comparing your situation to that of others, try to do those things that make you feel good that you're able to do anytime you want. These do not have to be costly and may be even done at home. You know what makes you feel relaxed, excited and full of energy.

Thoughts can be changed by autosuggestion, hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy or even bibliotherapy/workbooks. I've listed some books below that have made quite an impression on me and I find helpful and recommend to others.

 

Today We Are Rich
Tim Sanders

 

Change Your Thoughts Meditation CD: Do the Tao Now!
Wayne W. Dyer

 

The Happiness Workbook: Take Control of Your Happiness - Dozens of Proven Ways to be Happier
Jerry Lopper

Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you