How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask MrsRuss0114 Your Own Question

MrsRuss0114
MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 214
Experience:  B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
MrsRuss0114 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

is the love we have for each other gonna be realized and we

Resolved Question:

is the love we have for each other gonna be realized and we can get back on track as a couple
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 3 years ago.

Russ0114 : Was this meant for the tarot experts?
Customer:

kinda of .....but unless u have knowlege in relationships u might b able to help

Customer:

plus i don't know how to get to tarot experts LOL

Russ0114 : :), I am a relationship expert and would love to try to provide you with some insight if you don't mind, would you share your story with me so that I can have an idea of what's going on.
Customer:

Okay...tis a bit complicated and long

Customer:

so i'll try to simplfiy

Customer:

dating someone 7 months and he is goin thru alot of stressors right now...alot

Russ0114 : I'm all ears.
Customer:

he says he loves me, and i love him and he knows that. He states that right now he's confused as to what he wants

Customer:

he thinks his ex wants him back cuz he's happy with me

Customer:

he has wiped my tears for me knowing they were shed bc of him

Customer:

he says he will find me if he choses that i am what he wants

Customer:

he's never lied at all to me

Customer:

told me truth...about it ALL weather good or bad

Customer:

says he needs to get life in order before draggin someone else in

Customer:

and i knew that what in beginnin

Customer:

he didn't lie about it

Customer:

he says that i'm the best thing in his life ever

Customer:

he's never had someone who 'would do anything for him' and means him no harm

Customer:

says it is kinda hard to take and scares him at the same time

Customer:

he isn't use to 'unconditional love'

Customer:

i know that

Customer:

he states he doesn't want to push me away right now

Customer:

and he can't follow his heart..he needs to do what is right

Customer:

says that he doesn't know when or if he'd be back

Customer:

i know he wants me to wait but states he doesn't expect me to

Customer:

not fair to me

Customer:

and admitted he'd b crushed if he found out i was what he wanted and no longer there

Customer:

says he feels pressured into decision or am i gone

Customer:

i said i'm not gone

Customer:

said didn't know how long it would take

Customer:

says he thinks of me constantly

Customer:

says that i go aganist all that he has ever dealt with

Customer:

such as i don't respond the way he is used to

Customer:

and he doesn't know how to take it in sometimes

Customer:

and i believe all he's said

Customer:

not like he's a liar

Customer:

and he said

Customer:

when i asked him

Russ0114 : Thanks for sharing.
Customer:

i just wanted to know what kind of chance i had with him

Customer:

he said more than a very good chance

Customer:

that's it in a long and short nutshell LOL

Russ0114 : That's good, you gave me something to go on :)
Customer:

I'm glad.....a new unbiased...as in u don't know either of us is a good perspective to have =)

Russ0114 : Here's what I've gathered from what you've shared.
Customer:

just stating the facts in the case....

Russ0114 : It's no doubt that the two of you care for each other very deeply.
Customer:

That is agood thing u think the feeling is mutal

Russ0114 : And because this is something so new to him and being with you is so easy he probably feels like it's all too food to be true.
Customer:

Yes....i agree with that...he said that he doesn't think i deserve him..i'm to nice

Customer:

never thought being with me was easy...nice viewpoint thanks =)

Customer:

i reaffairmed he DOES deserve me and everyone needs 'nice'

Russ0114 : Because of the outside stressors he has going on currently, he feels that it would be an injustice to you to filly commit himself when he really can't until he's been able to address these things completely so that you can have his undivided attention.
Customer:

again I agree with that....he said it wasn't fair to me to be dragged into his 'drama' right now...so far ur right on target..... =) (left out some things to see if u would get them from info i gave...great so far :)

Russ0114 : Your the type of woman and this is the type of relationship that he gas to get used too. So, all you can do is continue to be there either up clOse or from a distance to support him. Be the woman both he and you know you are and let him know that you'll be there for him either as friends until he gets all of the things he has going on worked out or as his woman standing by his side.
Customer:

He knows that...I have told him. I'm here for him when he needs me. Just a small part if fear and or hurt in thinking that he will forget me and decide that he wants me but is afraid to come get me

Customer:

and i told him that...

Customer:

honesty is big with both of us

Customer:

but he holds things in my past in bad light...states that the past makes a person...i believe that to some degree...but the past also helps to change the person into someone better

Customer:

if they can learn from it

Russ0114 : When he says he doesn't know what his decision will be, I think subconsciously that's his insecurity testing you to see if you'll run away. And so far, you've proven his insecurities wrong as you're still standing by his side.
Customer:

even when he states to prepare for me to have him NOT return..as he looks in my eyes and says that...and i said that is to hard knowing u still love me and knowing part of u wants me by your side

Customer:

and he meet with me 2 times...to talk....cuz been only a week or so since he stated this...and last time when he left...he said not to cry...hugged me...and had to wipe his tears away

Customer:

and texted me...please remember i love you

Customer:

and stated he would find me again and he wouldn't forget about me.

Customer:

and he said he'd read an email if i sent it...asked yesterday...haven't sent one yet...not sure what to say...if to send it...or just let it be...cuz we have said it all...cept for me saying i forgive him for the hurt right now

Customer:

and i don't want to sabotage any chance i might have of him coming back

Russ0114 : I think the bond that you two have will withstand this period and will only make your relationship that much stronger when he's gotten himself completely together.
Customer:

u really think that he is unable to walk away forever? he did state he thought that he didn't think he could walk away forever.....

Customer:

he said it is hard for him to do this...cuz part of him doesn't want to

Customer:

i'm just caught in a fearful/uncertain cycle and that is vile and evil and thoughts do come to happen if i can't find strentgh to think positive

Russ0114 : Once you've comfortably decided to send him an email, it can be something as simple as saying my thoughts are with you and hoping that you're okay. Just know I'm here if you need support.
Customer:

that is GOOD =)

Customer:

i like that

Russ0114 : It's a very difficult situation to be in but you can always find strength in knowing that he loves you and loved you enough not to want you to have to go through the drama that only he can resolve.
Customer:

things i k now: he wants me to support him, he loves me, he doesn't want to drag me into his 'drama', he wants me there, he knows i'd treat him like he's never been treated, he's afraid of his feelings and feels that he is undeserving of 'nice'

Customer:

I do....it takes a GOOD man NOT to be selfish of his heart and to do what is right not what he wants in his heart at this time

Customer:

givin your the expert and i'm not......do u think i'm chasin a 'pipe dream' here or do u really think there is a chance

Russ0114 : Your exactly right, that in and of itself speaks volumes.
Russ0114 : I do feel that there's a chance based solely on the information you've shared with me.
Customer:

and it take me to be the woman i am...strong and confident in what we had and what i know to be truthful and put on 'big girl pants' and give him what he desires even if that isn't what I WANT at this time

Customer:

I am only giving u information that has been known and said amoungst us

Customer:

am i lying saying i don't want him back....yes....sometimes the heart yearns to do what it wants but it can't always happen in the way u want now can it

Customer:

Seems i'm a little wiser than i thought LOL

Russ0114 : Exactlt, it shows that your secure and strong enough to deal with the outcome whatever it may be.
Customer:

i don't know about how i feel if he were nver to come bak...it would hurt

Customer:

hurts now truthfully

Russ0114 : You sure are! I think it's always good YO have an unbiased person reaffirm what you already know to be true!
Customer:

and hard to give space being i'm so analytical and i want to fix it

Customer:

it is good and helps yes to know that what i'm thinking is reaffirmed by someone i know nothin about

Customer:

and that i am on the right path

Customer:

to learn more about myself and to toss away things i might have done in past

Customer:

so i can overcome my own obstacles and trust god and trust that my fears are worthless

Customer:

and to know that what i feel in my gut needs to catch up with mind so i can be balanced

Customer:

a time of relearning myself i guess

Customer:

and not to fall into same traps as past

Customer:

i'm a basket case now aren't i LOL

Russ0114 : It would hurt but if he were not to come back, I don't think it would be because he didn't want too, I think it would be because he needed more time to believe all of the things you tried to reassure him of. However, I don't think he'll be completely out of your life and my hope for you is that he's able to sort through the things he needs to sort through and give your love a chance!
Russ0114 : It's all normal fears and feelings!
Customer:

and how long do u think i should wait? he said could b a long time....he said he hoped i would of just done what he is used to...make it easier for him...as in...she doesn't mean what she says...good think i let her go

Russ0114 : And at least you have a handle on the basket :) that puts you miles ahead of some!
Customer:

LMAO.......good answer

Customer:

i just don't want to wait in earnest and b left an old lady with 20 cats and a son who comes by to say hi once in a while LOL

Customer:

i prolly should b the one to let him get ahold of me.....i have his key and things at his house yet which means he can't forget about me LOL

Russ0114 : :)! To be very honest with you, only your heart can tell you how long. I think if there's even slow progress and it's constant then you know you're working towards being together. If things come to a complete standstill and you find that your heart doesn't feel the same then you'll know it may be time to move on and that you did all you could do to make yourself available to him.
Russ0114 : LOL, very true and the fact that he still wants to maintain communication means he doesn't really want to forget about you nor you him.
Customer:

right now he doesn't want to talk or anything...he did state he'd answer the phone or texts once in while not all the time.....and as far as my heart is concerned....i love him

Customer:

i feel safe around him....feel complete when near him and with him...feel excited to see or hear from him...goosebumps when he touches me still

Russ0114 : And you can give him that space and send him a just checking on you email.
Customer:

in a couple weeks though right

Customer:

or by next week friday LOL

Russ0114 : And not to sound soooooooooo cliche but absence really does make the heart grow fonder and this may be just what he needs
Customer:

i hope so...cuz he has piles of stress....so much i'm afraid he'll FORGET to miss me LOL

Russ0114 : Give it a couple of weeks, see how he responds and then maybe once a month. If he's yearning for more, you'll know and can make adjustments as necessary.
Customer:

and if he gets in touch with me before than

Russ0114 : Missing you will probably be his only sanity.
Customer:

u think so? i'm the one who believes in him, trusts him, and supports him....he knows that

Russ0114 : Just be yourself talk with him, be an ear.
Russ0114 : Flirt :)
Customer:

i will when i feel he can take the flirting and not feel like he has to decide

Russ0114 : And you know him so you'll know when the time(s) right.
Customer:

wel....i won't take up more of your time...thank you for your input and expertise. really appricate it =)

Russ0114 : My pleasure and feel free to find me anytime on here, you can write to Russ0114 and I'll know you're wanting to talk with me
Russ0114 : If this interaction was helpful, please press accept, feedback is encouraged and appreciated.
MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 214
Experience: B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
MrsRuss0114 and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency